Ep. 7: Rom-Com Lies and Career Pivots: Why Your Dream Job Didn’t Fix Everything
You finally land the dream job.
✨ The one with better pay.
✨ The one with less stress.
✨ The one you swore would fix everything.
...But a few weeks in, you’re still exhausted. Still overthinking. Still wondering if you made a mistake.
What gives?
In this episode, we’re talking about what I call “rom-com logic”, the belief that once you make the big career move, everything else will magically fall into place. (Spoiler: it won’t.)
I’m sharing the very real story of a time I thought I had finally figured it out... only to find myself battling the same burnout in a shinier, more “aligned” job. We’ll walk through why nothing outside of you will change until you start showing up as the version of you who knows how to hold the life she wants.
You’ll learn my 3-step process to embody your Future Self, stop recycling old patterns, and finally shift your career from “meh” to meaningful.
If you’ve ever thought, “This job was supposed to feel better than this,” this episode is for you.
Mentioned in this episode:
Future Timeline Meditation
Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter
Book a free 20-minute coaching call
👋 Let’s connect:
DM me on Instagram or Facebook @leadintact—I’d love to hear if this episode hit something deep.
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Introduction to The Pivot Point
You are listening to The Pivot Point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, a founder of Lead Intact, and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Rom-Com Logic in Career Perspectives
Are You looking at your career through the lens of romcom logic? You know what I mean by that? I love a good rom-com. You probably love a good rom-com. Or even if you don't love it, you've probably seen it. You know, the premise usually is where The heroine goes through this challenging time, can't seem to find the right person that usually right at like the right man.
Probably either comes from like a failed relationship or can't seem to hold a relationship, that kind of thing. And the movie, the rom-com usually just shows the journey that the heroine is going through. And where does a rom-com end? It ends right when they get together.
The Reality of Dream Jobs
So when I ask you, are you looking at your career through the lens of romcom, do you think just like in a romcom, that once you get that dream job, that life is gonna suddenly become a happily ever after?
I hate to break it to you, but the work doesn't end there. In a rom-com. The couple finally gets together after some difficulty, and then what happens? Like the credit rolls and the movie ends In real life, let's say you get your dream job. Like maybe you're someone who's been burning out, who's been overworked, et cetera.
You get a dream job where your hours are slashed. You seem like you can get a really great work life balance, and you think that once you have this dream job, then suddenly your life is gonna be magical. And hey, don't get me wrong, if this is you, 'cause I'm gonna tell you what that was me.
It's gonna feel good for a while. And then what, because I promise you that if you are expecting a shift from the external world to shift how you feel on the inside. that's not how it works. Usually what happens, and I'm just saying this from my own experience, from working with my clients, from talking to my colleagues and my friends, what happens is you make the internal shift enough to choose differently.
So let's say in the context of a career, you choose a job that has less hours. Let me tell you, that's what I did. But if you don't make the shift internally, if you are still. Not putting boundaries and still acting in a way that was what led you to the burnout to begin with. You're gonna get burned out again, and then maybe you leave that job and you get a new job that you think is promising you're gonna get burned out again and again until you really look within yourself to understand what is it about me?
What am I allowing that leads me to burnout? How do I see myself that's leading to burnout? What types of jobs or responsibilities or roles do I go for that's leading to burnout. All of those things are internal. Not to say that the external factors don't play into it at all, it does, but really it starts with the internal shift.
And I promise you, once you start making those internal shifts, even if those external factors like say your job, your boss, your team, whatever, doesn't change the way you feel about it, will. So I will give you a real life example of what happens when you look at your career through.
Personal Career Journey
ROM-com lens and I will use myself as an example so that you know that I'm not just pulling your leg here.
So I have made a lot of pivots in my life, and I have always been a very career-driven person. Success was very important to me. I wanted to be known as a hard worker. I wanted to be known as someone who gets shit done. And what ended up happening. No matter how many jobs I switched over is I would inevitably end up alone without any support and with way too many responsibilities for not enough pay.
Seriously. And so I've been doing a lot of this self-development work for years now, right? So I'm not trying to say that I was just looking for the external things to help out. But I'm just pointing out that for some reason when it came to my career for the longest time,
I really did think it was like, oh yeah, it was this company. It took me a while to understand that I am the common denominator of all these jobs. So I'll give an example. In my previous job that I no longer want to be like the, what do you call that character, like the lone wolf or like, I'm thinking of the cowboy like off by himself and doesn't have a team.
In my last job, I will say and give credit to myself that I realized part of the reason I ended up losing my team or not getting enough support. Is because I internally had this identity as somebody who has her shit together. Somebody who can be relied upon somebody who doesn't need nobody, like super fiercely independent.
it took me some time, but I did figure out in my last job, like, oh, this is contributing to my experience. Because if I portray myself and I act as if I have my shit together, I don't need nobody, whatever, then my teammates, my team leads, my boss, whatever. They're gonna see me as somebody who has her shit together and won't offer help.
They'll be like, oh yeah, Laura's got it. She got it. And so that's when I was like, aha. With that realization, I did start asking for more help. I did start, communicating more to my manager, like, Hey, I need a team. You can't be taking my team away from me, et cetera. And in that previous job, I did end up advocating for myself saying, look, you have added.
These extra responsibilities on me that I didn't have when I got hired on, and therefore these added responsibilities equate to this level of compensation. I talk about it in more detail in my previous episode, which I'll link in the show notes. I did end up getting that raise. I didn't really get any more support and I eventually ended up.
Choosing a different job I really thought that with this next jump, with this next pivot into the job I have now, it's gonna solve all my problems because at the time I was like, you know what? I'm burned out and underpaid. I got the underpaid taken care of,
But in the next job, my idea was well. Let me just go ahead and choose this job instead of staying, because the responsibilities are less for like a little bit more pay. I'm gonna get this job that's aligned to my vision of how I wanna be, and it's gonna solve everything.
I really genuinely thought once I got this job in my life, it's gonna be better. Guess what? It was better for a little bit for maybe a month or two, but then I found myself feeling like really ashamed of myself. I found myself calling myself lazy, and I didn't realize it at the time, but because my standard of myself was like this over performer.
overworked person, hard worker, and because I hadn't addressed my self-standard, rather than feeling better with the lack of responsibilities with not being a lead anymore, I actually felt worse. And I'm sharing this story because maybe this is you, you're experiencing this.
Maybe you're in what you thought was your dream job, and you're just like, this cannot possibly be it. What's up with that? And hey, maybe that's actually true, but I invite you to pause for a moment and really ask yourself before you make the conclusion of I've made a mistake. This is not my dream job.
Ask yourself for a moment. What were you hoping was gonna change? Not the external stuff, right? The external stuff. Like for example, in my case, the external stuff changed. I got a pay raise, I got less responsibilities less expectations of me. Those are external things that changed. Those are the things that I expected to change and they did change.
What I invite you to ask yourself, if you were that person who took what they thought was a dream job and it turned out you still don't feel better, how were you expecting to feel? Like when I say, what were you expecting to change? What were you expecting to change in terms of your internal world? Were you hoping to feel more peace?
Were you hoping to feel happier?
The Importance of Internal Shifts
Just get really clear on that and that's really what I wanna talk about in this episode is the whole idea of. don't change your external world first. If you find yourself in an unhappy situation, this can apply to anything really, like your relationships, romantic or friendship or familial, whatever.
But, you know, in the context of this podcast, which is career related, it can be so easy to be like, oh, just get another job. I'm gonna tell you what I did that many times and what I have since then learned is that before you even. Make that shift before you even make that pivot. And again, if you've already made the pivot, it's not like it's too late, right?
It's not. It's just if you are at the point where you're like, I'd like to make a pivot. If you're at the beginning stages, I encourage you to follow this process instead. Again, if you've already made the change, you can still follow this process. I call it the.
Steps to Embody Your Future Self
Embodiment of your future self. Okay. I'll explain what that means.
'cause I'll tell you like a few years ago, I would've been like, embodied my future. Who now? Like why is that important? Here's why it's important. Unlike a rom-com, the external shifts not the end of the story. Actually, because if you just change your external and you don't change the internal is gonna attract and draw the same shit that you've been attracting before.
You know that saying I don't know who the original author or like whoever said this first, but that saying, no matter where I go, there I am. very much that. So let's change the process. Let's embody your future self, like who that person is before you even start to work on the how, like whatever dream job that is, let's get to know that version of ourselves first.
So embodiment of futurist self, step one. Is to connect. Connect to that future self. If you're like, how the fuck do I do that? Identify. Identify who that version of you is. And by that I mean, how does that person feel, that version of you, that future you? How does future you feel?
How does future you think? What are some of the habits of future you? I encourage you to identify your future self by doing something like journaling. If you're somebody who journals, if you meditate, you can go ahead and do that. I actually have this meditation called Future Timeline Meditation. I'll put it in the show notes. You can listen to that and that way you'll connect with future You.
It doesn't have to be my meditation. It could be any guided meditation that connects you to. Like future timelines, that kind of thing. If you're not someone who meditates, you can just take a walk in the park. Whatever it is, don't make this difficult. Whatever is your way to slow down and become introspective and reflective.
Do that, but do it with intention. Really think about that future you, okay? Like let's say you're just like, I have no idea what you're saying, Laura. Think about that dream job, right? Picture the life you would have when you have this dream job and then zoom in to that version of you.
What is that version of you feeling? What is that version of you thinking? What is that version of you wearing even. What kind of habits do they have? You don't have to answer all of those. I think it's important just to connect to one of those, because I'll tell you what, the only thing that I could connect to when I started doing this work is that Future me was open and curious.
That's all I had. I couldn't even picture what the dream job was. I'm not gonna lie to you. I couldn't picture the habits. So if this is you and you're like, I'm having a hard time connecting, let go of the idea that you need to fully get to know this future you version.
Okay? So that's step one. Identify and connect with your future self.
Step two, you have to become really aware of how you're showing up moment by moment, day by day. Just notice. And if this is not a habit for you, set an alarm on your calendar.
Who am I showing up as today? So I'll take my example again of open and curious, right? 'cause that's all I got. Say my calendar goes off and it's like, check in with yourself. Who are you showing up as? And then I noticed that I just came out of a meeting and I am. Pissed off because I've been working on a proposal and my teammates are not even letting me go through my proposal and they start talking about why.
But like, I don't wanna give them the time of day because they're not even listening to me, so I don't wanna listen to them. Is that showing up as open and curious no. Right. That's showing up as closed off and a little bit victim mode, right? Little bit of a, well, you didn't listen to me. I'm not gonna listen to you.
So that's step two. I've identified that I'm showing up as my past self, not my future self. Now, step three is to take a moment and feel some gratitude. Now, why would I feel gratitude for showing up as my past self? It's really important. Think of yourself as the CEO of your life and you have all these different parts of you that are around like a conference table, let's say. So imagine in a meeting, and I'm sure this has happened to you in real life if you can't relate to that, think about like just a family meeting or like among friends or something, right?
And you're there and then somebody says something that's disagreeing with what you've said. You're probably not gonna look at that person and say. You need to shut the fuck up. I don't know. Maybe you would, but probably not. Right? Like especially not in a professional setting. You probably would say thank you for sharing your thoughts and maybe something like, that's not the direction we're going to anymore.
You start with gratitude, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can see that your intention was to be helpful with your comment. And that's not the direction we're going. So that's why step three is to show up in gratitude, even if you find yourself showing up as the past version of you.
Because let me tell you something, how I showed up in this example, right, is closed off and basically wanting to fight and sure. If I just compare it to open and curious, it's wow, that's pretty shitty, that you don't even wanna listen to that teammate.
But truthfully, that version of me served a purpose. That version of me is how I got to where I am today. So yes, it's true that that strategy is no longer aligned with who I am looking to become. And it's also true that it served me at some point in my life. So that's where the gratitude comes in. It's like, thank you for showing up this way. In the past, I wouldn't be here, if not for you , if you don't quite feel that way,. at least. Thank you.. I know your intention is to make sure that I get heard, and we are now trying to become more open and curious. Okay. Now, if in step two. Which is where you gain awareness of who you're showing up as if you find that you are showing up as future you, right?
Like in my case, same scenario. I'm in that meeting, somebody's disagreeing with my proposal and I find myself going, huh, tell me more. Tell me what it is about my proposal that doesn't jive with your thought, and then let's go talk about your idea. That's me being open and curious. So maybe the calendar goes off.
Right. And it's like, who are you showing up as right now? And I'm like, badass. I'm showing up as future me. Today. You go to step three and you show gratitude again. And in this case, not only do you say thank you to yourself for showing up, you say Thank you more, please. Because what you're really saying.
To all the parts of you that are listening to your subconscious, Basically what you're really saying is you did a great job and let's do more of this connecting and embodying future self, right? And I will tell you the more you do this, you know, showing up in gratitude, thank you more, please or thank you, we're not heading in that direction anymore. The more you're gonna connect. With that future version of you, the more you're gonna gain more clarity, the more you're gonna change as a person and the more opportunities will come to you.
Practical Application and Conclusion
And just to finish up the story of what ended up happening, so like in my current job, right?
Like I was really hard on myself, judging myself, et cetera, and I'm just like, ah, I'm a lazy whatever, blah, blah, blah. And once I did the identity shift I did get. More opportunity in my current job, and I was able to get into another lead position while having fun, while not getting burnt out, while maintaining my boundaries, while feeling such support.
I cannot tell you the difference in the support that I'm getting now compared to what I was getting before. Again, just to recap, it's just a simple three step process. One, identify and connect to your future self. Two, gain awareness of who you're showing up as today, moment by moment, and three always end with gratitude, I hope that resonated with you. If you would like more support, you're like, Laura, that all sounds good and I am really connecting, but I could just use a little bit more guidance and more coaching on specifically this aspect. Book a free 20 minute call with me. You can pick up my free heart aligned career transition starter.
It actually goes through a little bit of this process, so that'll give you more support, specifically in how to go through transition and not through the rom-com lens. And also lastly, remember to proceed. As if success is inevitable because it is. I'll see you next time.
All right, friend. That's it for today's drop. If this episode hits something deep, don't just sit with it, act on it. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and then head to www.leadintact.com to grab your free heart aligned career transition starter, or book a free 20 minute call with me. I'm here when you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start moving toward what you really want.
Catch you next time.