Ep. 13: Healing, Surrender & Career Pivots with Jenny Jansen
Ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” and still wondering, why does this feel so wrong?
This week, I sat down with my dear friend Jenny Jansen to talk about the messy pivots that actually bring you back to yourself.
Jenny’s story is one for the books: she started out teaching fifth graders, realized the real work she loved was those heart-to-heart recess talks, and then walked straight into a full-on quarter-life crisis. We’re talking Starbucks mornings, late-night shifts, ugly cries on the couch, and a whole lot of surrender.
But here’s the thing, those two years of chaos became the foundation for everything she does now as a therapist and master coach. Jenny and I dive into what it actually looks like to choose yourself over and over again, even when your brain is screaming bad idea, and why asking for help is the most adult thing you can do.
This conversation is funny, raw, and packed with mic-drop wisdom about trusting your nudges, rewriting your “shoulds,” and pivoting into a life that feels not just aligned, but actually alive.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
✔️The real story behind Jenny quitting teaching with no Plan B
✔️How surrendering timing (again and again) changed everything
✔️Why following a “tiny nudge” (like a free podcast membership) can blow open your whole career
✔️The Adult Chair model, what it is, and why it matters if you’re pivoting
✔️How to know if you’re half-assing two things instead of full-assing one
✔️Why “should” is a dirtier word than the F-bomb
“Every single minute we’re alive is an opportunity to pivot. You don’t have to wait for the universe’s permission slip’’
Feeling the itch to pivot? Start with the Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter at
https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career
And if you’re ready for one-on-one support, book a free 20-min call at
https://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-consultation
Get in touch with Jenny
✔️Freebie on pop-up: Uncover Your Worth → www.trueconsciousliving.com
✔️www.instagram.com/trueconsciousliving or www.linkedin.com/in/trueconsciousliving
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You are listening to the pivot point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionicio, a founder of Lead Intacct, and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Laura Dionisio: Okay. Okay. Jenny Janssen, the wonderful Jenny Janssen. Welcome to the Pivot Point for the 10th time. Uh, thank
Jenny Jansen: you Laura. I'm so glad to be back and here with you again and again and again.
Laura Dionisio: And, and case you're listening or watching this and you're like, wait, did I miss an episode? Uh, no. No, you did not.
It's just that we had thought, we recorded one and then while trying to figure out our technical difficulties here, I dunno, I, I've said Jenny's bio like 10 times, but
Jenny Jansen: like I, I am very clear. If I didn't know before, I know very well who I am now.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. But you know, and I will, I'll, I will get to her bio for reals this time, and hopefully it's recording this time.
I don't know Jenny, like we'll see. So we'll see. But I just wanted to share, I, before I do these guest recording, I even when I record the solo episodes, I always think about my intention for the episode. And with a guest, I typically ask, what is your intention for our time together? And Jenny, why don't you share what our intention was?
Well, should I
Jenny Jansen: share the first time or the 12th time? Because I think it's evolved over time, which I think is really cool. Fair. Because as we come to each present moment, it's almost like the moment invites a new intention. I think that's a really great lesson and metaphor for just kind of life in general, first of all.
But I think initially the first the first take my intention, I believe, was just to be of service to whoever's listening and to help, hope that my story, help people feel a little bit, you know, less alone or maybe there's a resonance that can inspire someone on their own journey of pivoting.
And then, you know, during take like eight that we're on right now, I'm like, I think I'm just gonna bring like a playful fun and we're just gonna see what happens next. Feel to it. But I think I like that too because, you know, as we pivot throughout life, it's like sometimes you do just kind of have to surrender and wave the white flag.
Yes. And let things organically unfold as they're meant to and trust that. Whatever is happening is divinely timed and it's exactly as it's meant to be. So,
Laura Dionisio: exactly. So I don't typically share the intention, but for this one, it seemed apt to, to share our adventure before this one though, we're on right now, this week
Jenny Jansen: long adventure of this podcast episode.
This podcast episode has been a week in the making. Also get ready and hopefully it lives up to the week of intentions that have been set
Laura Dionisio: just in this, uh, this two minutes alone. That's it. That's the best part of the, okay all right. Hopefully there's no luck. And then the, the other thing that happened is I was reading Jenny's bio, but I was pausing in between looking at her, and I didn't get a reaction.
So I kept, I kept going, and then I saw later that she had a reaction. It.
Jenny Jansen: The lag. Oh, good times. Good times.
Laura Dionisio: Good times. Okay,
Jenny Jansen: here we go. Sometimes there are lags in life and we have to wait to catch up.
Laura Dionisio: Ooh,
Jenny Jansen: Jack. Look at dropping it off. Oh my god, Mike. So many lessons in our experience already. Yeah, and we haven't even gotten to
Laura Dionisio: the podcast.
We haven't even gotten This is the podcast. Funny. This is the podcast. Okay. Here, here we go. Uh, Jenny and I are good friends outside of this, if you couldn't already tell. Okay. Jenny Jansen is a licensed, independent social worker of clinical practice and certified adult chair master coach. Jenny received her master's degree in social work from University of South Carolina and worked in community mental health later obtaining her coaching and master coaching certification in the adult share model, which is how Jenny and I met four or five years ago.
Jenny Jansen: That's crazy. Crazy.
Laura Dionisio: Jenny has always had a passion for helping and relating to others in vulnerable and meaningful ways. Walking through her own journey of healing and self-discovery, she considers herself a student of life and the love child of all. She has learned and encountered understanding each experience as a gift for her soul's unique purpose.
She truly believes we were never meant to do life alone. Inspiring her to demonstrate unconditional acceptance and emotional safety for all she meets. She uses a unique blend of tools and techniques. Both from her mental health and coaching backgrounds to help individuals gain self-awareness and courage to release unhealthy patterns and guide them home to their soul's purpose.
She empowers her clients to find their truth, connect with their inner knowing and confidently step into a grounded and conscious life of radical authenticity and meaningful connection with themselves and others. Jenny is the owner of Conscious Living Therapy and Coaching practice and sees individuals, couples, and families virtually on the local and international level.
She currently lives in South Carolina with her dog. Abby, welcome back. Thank you so much.
Jenny Jansen: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and I know we've already had, so many adventures in this podcast already, so I'm excited to see what the conversation takes us today.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah, this time, this time.
You know what stood out to me this time, the 10th time reading your. Your bio is really the line walking through her own journey of healing and self discovery. So talk to us about that. What do you mean by that?
Jenny Jansen: Well, I think that, the other part of the, my bio that I've heard several times, but it's, I think part of it is really just we learn by doing.
And I remember, you know, speaking of like career pivots, I, you know, I began my career in education actually before I became a therapist and life coach is I, my previous life I was an elementary school teacher and I remember very vividly taking one of my first foundational classes on educational, and it was more about like the, I can't even remember the name of the course right now, but it was about kinesthetic learning.
And so using your hands to enhance the educational experience and, you know, um, what's the word I'm looking for?
I dunno. Just, okay. Um, and one of the thing, um, John Boldy said, learn through doing. And I remember that was a really big
I can't put words. That was a really big part of our, our course. Like throughout the course we kept referring back to that quote, learn through doing, learn by doing, learn by doing. And I think that that's where we get the most foundational knowledge is through our lived experiences. And so, fast forwarding, walking through my own journey of healing and self-discovery is actually what paved the way for me to be able to help others pave their own path for healing and self-discovery.
And so, but if I hadn't learned how to do that through doing it myself, it would mm-hmm not have had the same impact on how I work with clients today.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. I love that. And you know, it's so interesting because you're here now with a thriving coaching and therapy practice, but you mentioned that you started off as a teacher.
So walk us through that process. Like, 'cause that, that seems like maybe not that big of a jump, but still like how do you, how did you go from teacher to therapist and then coach and, and what was it like as you made those like decisions and how are you feeling? What were you thinking? What was happening in your life at that time?
It
Jenny Jansen: was a. It was a street fight, a rollercoaster. All of these resistant parts of me were, you know, I was trying to quote unquote, just stay the course and do what I thought I was quote unquote supposed to do. And so, you know, growing up I, I mean, I started babysitting at a young age. I always loved kids, always loved helping people.
And so it always just kind of made sense for me to be a teacher. Like I, that's one thing I always kept coming back to. Like, I would like dabble in like, oh, maybe I wanna be a nurse. Well, I don't like blood, so that's, or maybe I wanna do this. Oh well, I don't like that aspect. And teaching always just kind of came, it was almost like my touchstone.
That was what I always fell back on. And so I let go of the money aspect. That was the biggest thing. I was like, I don't wanna be a teacher 'cause I don't make a lot of money. And so I was like, I kind of, first level surrender. It's like, you know, if, if I'm passionate and I love what I do, then that's where my heart's meant to be.
And so I got my undergrad at Clemson for elementary education. And started teaching fifth grade at age 22 and almost a baby myself, and still kind of trying to find my own adult chair before I even know that an adult chair existed. And so I navigated that journey of teaching for four years. And that in and of itself was its own rollercoaster in street fight.
You know, there was a lot of things that I wanted to be able to do that, you know, were hindered because of policies and things. You know, I thought I was gonna go in and just like one big happy family, all of my students, well, I worked in a, a very, um, challenging population. And so, you know, my fifth day of teaching, I'm breaking up a fight in the hallway and then, two months in I've got, kids that are bringing drugs to school and I'm having to navigate, in fifth grade.
And so, uh, there was a lot of things that I was not emotionally prepared to handle on one side. And then it's also the expectations of teachers, which I have such respect. And profound just reverence for the career of teaching. 'cause it's such a selfless and underappreciated job. Mm-hmm. And I feel honored to have done it for four years and to have lasted for four years.
And I think that my, my pivot in that, in that career was recognizing that I felt most alive in the classroom when my kids would come to me and say, Ms. Jansen, I, you know, can we sit together at lunch? 'cause I wanna talk to you about something. Or can we take a walk at recess and learning that like their parents are getting divorced or, you know, their brother went to jail last night, or, you know, they had a death in the family.
Or you know, just tragedy and heartbreak and these kids had nobody to turn to. And so I had these such profound, like life-giving moments of being able to really just hold space for these kids and. Guide them through what was some of the most pivotal and heart wrenching points in their lives. And then I would go back into the classroom and have to teach like the layers of the ocean floor or teach, algebra to 10 year olds who aren't gonna need to know that until high school.
And so I just felt like my energy was being pulled in so many different ways. 'cause I also, by nature, I'm kind a little bit of a perfectionist just a teeny bit. And so I always wanted to achieve, and I always wanted to do the right thing. I always wanted to, you know, follow the rules and be, live in my integrity.
And I found it very challenging to navigate both parts of that, you know, the mm-hmm. The emotional social wellness of my students, while also managing their academics. And especially, you know, for the kid whose brother went to jail the night before and he's falling asleep in class, it's like, how do you, you know, it's, it's hard to navigate such.
Challenges and my heart went out for more the emotional side. And so I started to really just think within myself, like, where am I want? Where do I want to actually put my energy in ways that actually fills me up because I was feeling so drained. And the point for me was actually not during the school year.
It was over the summer between, it was after my fourth year of teaching and I was in a professional development class that, you know, we had these mandatory, classes that we had to take to for technology. I had to learn how to use this new technology thing. And I was working on the project and listening to the modules and I literally, I have a very vivid memory of me sitting on my couch in my apartment and I just burst into tears and I was like, I cannot do this.
And it wasn't even about. How I knew it wasn't about the kids, it wasn't about the grading papers. That was never ending. It wasn't about parents. It wasn't even about, you know, my administration. There was nothing like that. It was about the fact of where my energy was being poured.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. And
Jenny Jansen: I'm like, I could give two shits about this technology.
Like, how is this actually going to, like, I, I cared about the hearts of my kids. And not that, not all, I mean, all teachers care about the hearts of their kids. It was one of those things that it was just draining me so much that I could not be the best version of myself in the classroom because my energy was being drained in other ways.
And so, oddly enough, I, made the decision. I called my principal. I remember going over to her house, it was like the beginning of July or end of June or something like that. And I drove to her house to tell her I was quitting. And she's like, do you have a plan? And I said, I'm gonna go to grad school and I'm gonna be a social worker and I'm gonna be a therapist.
And I made that decision. Because I knew that that's where my heart was.
And I made the decision to quit. I knew I couldn't go back into the classroom, but I also learned very quickly that I couldn't just jump into grad school in two months. Like there's obviously an application process and things like that.
So I was like okay, so now I have a year to, I'm like, maybe I could start in January. Well, that wasn't an option. So surrender number one, I had to, I had to take a year off, and I did not know what I was gonna do, but I knew that in my heart, if I set back, I couldn't step back into a classroom. And so that journey though, I, I love and have such.
Such an incredible amount of gratitude for those four years because it taught me so much about myself and it taught me so much about where my heart really wanted to be, and ways that I could use my gifts in other areas. 'cause I still see myself as a teacher. I just teach in different, in a different capacity with a different population.
So
Laura Dionisio: I That's good. I love that. I love what you said about like the first level surrenders, letting go of the idea of money. And that led you to being a teacher, which uncovered actually your heart's desire.
Mm-hmm.
Because through that experience, you realized your energy just was not being fulfilled in the majority of that job.
Mm-hmm. And
then you said you had to surrender the timing because apparently you can't just quit in July and then be in grad school by August. August. Yeah. Like, who, why? Like who, what do you mean? I mean, come on. Hello. Yeah. So talk us through. So. At this point, you had to surrender that one year.
What was happening in that one year? 'cause it sounds like you surrender the timing, but not the desire, which I think is important for listeners to, to hear, because sometimes we think when things don't go the way we want it to, we think, oh, see, it's a sign from the universe. Mm-hmm. That I shouldn't do this.
Did that ever crossed your mind when you couldn't apply when you wanted to?
Jenny Jansen: Actually, it didn't, you know, I hadn't even thought about that until you just said that. You know, it's like I, it's almost like I had a goal and I had a, I knew that it's where I needed to be. It just, it was like a not yet thing.
Laura Dionisio: Mm. And I knew
Jenny Jansen: that no matter what happened, like that's where I wanted to be. So I was like, okay, well I have a year to just exist and to figure things out, and then I will get all get my application. I had all the deadlines, I had the, you know, my calendar. Okay, on this day I can app apply. I first day I can apply.
I was applying, you know? Mm-hmm. When do classes open, that kind of thing. And so I, when I quit teaching, I was like, okay, so I'm gonna lose my insurance. I'm gonna, you know, like there's so many like, logistical things that I had to figure out. Like, how am I gonna earn a living and pay my bills? So I started, uh, working at Starbucks 'cause they could, they offered benefits for part-time employees.
And then I waited tables at night. So I was up at like five in the morning, and then working until like 2:00 AM for, a long time and. I don't know how I did it, but you were in your twenties. That's how I was in my twenties. And so therefore we have like, you know, unlimited amount of energy and um, adrenaline and lots and lots and lots of coffee obviously.
And, um, but it's interesting what happened during that year is, you know, I saw that as like a career pivot, but it actually turned into a lot more of a profound personal pivot. And I had, you know, I was in therapy, I'd been in therapy for a long time and um, you know, some things were coming up in therapy that I realized I needed more help with.
And, you know, some uncovered, uncovered traumas and uncovered, you know, things that I had, I had not even addressed before. And so I think it kind of shocked me a little bit to almost, it's almost like now that I had the space, like I wasn't so busy with school and I wasn't so busy with school as in, you know, teaching and, um.
So it's almost like it opened up space for me to look more deeply within myself and realize, oh wow, I'm like running from all of these things through my perfectionism, through my, you know, being busy all the time. Like I didn't have enough time to slow down and actually look at what was inside of me.
And so the more I slowed down, the more I realized that so much deep emotion was coming up that I did not know how to deal with. And so I ended up in pretty intense therapy and for, for the better part of that year. And then I realized so, so fun, funnily enough. So I, you know, I was in therapy and I was kind of like uncovering and it was really mucky and I was like, okay, well whatever.
I'm just gonna go through it. I'm gonna go through it. And, you know, realizing I needed even more help, you know, so I ended up going into, you know, different programs that were. More extensive, you know, lengthwise and, multiple hours a day, that kind of thing. And I remember, I don't wanna say fighting, but with my therapist at the time, and I said, I'll do this thing, but I better be out by August because I have grad, I'm starting grad school.
Laura Dionisio: Because the timing, again,
Jenny Jansen: because of the timing, I said, look, I've already taken a year off. Like, I'm not wasting any more time. So I was like, fine, I'll do this, but I better be done by August because I've got things to do. Well, I was done by August, but then I had to step down. Then I had another, like, I wasn't done.
And so I had to again, surrender to the idea of. Timing and whose timeline was I actually on? Because I even tried to, you know, do part-time program and part-time grad school. I was like, well, fine, I'll, I'll go to grad school and I'll just do like two classes here, but I'll be, you know, I was in a, I was living in a different state at the time.
I mean, it was just, I was trying to do too much and I was trying to do it, quote unquote. Right. And when I recognized that I was actually creating more problems for myself, like I was slowing down my healing by trying to, it's again very similar. I didn't even realize this until just now, like splitting my energy, you know, like I did when I was teaching, I was splitting my energy between, you know, the rules and then the emotional part of it.
And so it's almost like I was, I was half-assing both things and not feeling like I could really pour my heart into where it needed to go.
Laura Dionisio: And
Jenny Jansen: so I tried to do the part-time grad school thing.
Laura Dionisio: Wait, hold on. You said something so important that I just wanna pause. This was so good. You said that you just now realized that I kiss my mic by accident.
I got so excited. Okay. You said that you just now realized the parallel between when you were in your teaching job, you, there were things that were feeding your energy, like when your kids would say, Hey, Ms. Ms. Jenny, um, can I sit with you at recess? But then there were other things like rules and regulations that didn't really give you as much.
Mm-hmm. Like it didn't feed into your energy. In fact, it took away. Mm-hmm. So that was an external thing, and this is the part that's so key. And I think the listeners, like some listeners out there will relate to that. So you take away the external thing that's giving you the rules that you think is causing the restriction within you, right?
Mm-hmm. Because you let go of that. Now you don't have that anymore because you're in intense treatment. But it turns out you had an in internalized. Division.
Mm-hmm. Where
there are things that are feeding your energy, but then there's like the rules that's like preventing you from going full ass, as you said.
Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: Yes. In episode number one, the prerecorded episode,
Laura Dionisio: The prerecorded episode we talked about that never was that ne that never was. No, this is, no, it, it really is
Jenny Jansen: Jenny having like a really big aha moment right now as we, as we're talking about it, because it's almost like I, I've lived my life based on this rule system that was always externally imposed on me.
And in that moment I realized like I was the one that was internally creating that rule system. It's almost like I almost took on the voice of the external roles because it's what my nervous system was used to. I was used to it like, this is what I'm supposed to do.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. Or it, we are blaming the external one 'cause it's easy to see that, but it turns out we were the, because internally we have that we're the ones who went to say yes to that.
External system. Does that make sense? It's like it's, it actually started with us. Mm-hmm. Like internally, we had that, and then we sought out something that was similar to our internal world
Jenny Jansen: because we gravitate toward what feels familiar, even if it's unhealthy. Yeah. Wow. And so it, yeah. Interesting. Like I, I subconsciously did that and then even when I didn't have, nobody else was telling me that I had to go to grad school except for me.
So it's almost like I internalized that rule system for myself. Mm-hmm. And I was creating so much unnecessary stress on my own healing journey that, you know, to go back to episode one from the other day, it's like when I, it's like I was ha trying to half-ass both things. And I ended up getting worse at the time.
Like my, you know, my symptoms got a lot worse and I was under a lot of stress. And so it's like I was half-assing both things. And then my counselor at the time, she looked at me and she. She said, and I still, you know, live by this to the, to this day, is, whose timeline are you on?
Laura Dionisio: Mm.
Jenny Jansen: Whose timeline are you on?
And those were, I'll never forget. And 'cause it shook me so much that I, that's what made me realize that I was the one that was creating my own suffering. And so when I surrendered number 8,012, you know, it's like however many times I had to surrender during that, during those two years it was a point where I, I had to choose myself even though it was against everything my internal system was telling me to do.
And so I think that any pivot that we have, whether it be personal or professional, it's, it is about like, like who's telling you that this is what you quote unquote should do.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. And
Jenny Jansen: at what point, and is it a pivot toward an external expectation or an external facade of how you think you should.
Present yourself? Or is it based on that internal nudge? Kind of like, like when I made the internal nudge to quit teaching because it wasn't aligned with my heart.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: And then recognizing that when I actually could go full ass into my own healing, that it actually set me up for more success to be able to start grad school.
Mm-hmm. The following year, which interestingly, if I would've gone part-time grad school, I would've been done in three years. And I did full-time grads. I took that year and focus on my healing. And then I did full-time grad school in two years, so I would've graduated at the exact same time. So really it was just this, it was this mind game that I was playing with myself about what does it look like for me?
How does it look for me to have taken two years off to focus on myself? Mm-hmm. And like, you know, work on healing and work on this and not be working and, living at home. And, you know, it was just all of these judgments that I had about myself and my journey during that time that were really just prolonging what I knew I needed to do.
But it's like, until I actually paid, like peeled back all of the judgments that were a lot, a lot of them were self-imposed and peeled back and just said basically threw a big middle finger to anything that was not in alignment with what I needed to do to stay alive, basically. Because I knew that if I didn't take this journey of healing.
I wouldn't be here. Like it was pretty severe to the point where I don't know if I would've survived it. And I knew that at that point I had to choose myself because I knew, I was like, I could always go back to that old lifestyle. I could always go back to, saying, perfectionism and achievement and numbing my emotions and stuffing everything down and not feeling my feelings.
And because I knew that life well. Mm-hmm. You know, that's the thing we get so used to the familiar of the unhealthy. And that was another thing a different counselor said to me. She's like, you can always go back. You know that life will be waiting for you. You know, but why not give this a try instead and see if, and then make a choice, make a conscious choice.
And, you know, fast forward through our adult chair training, you know, recognizing that it's in our adult chair, that we make a choice. The shoulds and the have toss, in my opinion, are coming from that adolescent chair, that ego
Laura Dionisio: mm-hmm. The
Jenny Jansen: false self the masks. Who do we have to be in order to be loved and accepted and belong?
And that's where I was living my life from during that time. And so it's not until I got the whole lay of the land and I collected my data, got all the facts and truth about myself, about my journey, about what was available to me as far as resources and support. And then before I even know that the adult chair existed, I had to find my healthy adult and say, this is what I'm gonna choose to do.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: So letting go of all the shoulds and the have toss based on external programs and societal expectations and timelines and just say, you know what, like, I'm on my own path and I'm gonna. See where it goes.
Laura Dionisio: I love that. And for those listeners who are not familiar with the adult chair model, could you give a brief description of what that is?
Absolutely.
Jenny Jansen: So the adult chair model is developed by Michelle Schon, our incredible mentor, where she takes our lifespan and divides it up into three distinct phases or chairs. And so we have our inner child chair, which is zero to six, and that's the seat of, pure emotion. Our core needs, our vulnerability, our spontaneity, our curiosity.
And it is where we are most free to authentically ourselves. And this is where, you know, if you think about a kid you know, in the grocery store and they want cookies, like they're gonna throw a tantrum, they don't really care what they look like, how they sound, who's affected, they are living purely from that internal need and emotion.
The only different, the only. The thing about the childcare that many people don't recognize is like, yeah, it's all fun and beautiful and vulnerable, but we also don't have discernment. And so this is where the seat of the subconscious can actually, you know, cause issues for us later in life because we take in everything without discernment.
And so we take it all in as truth. And so any message that we get, we're constantly looking around ourselves. Like if you think about a, a newborn baby, what do they do? They're wide-eyed. They put everything in their mouth. They're like exploring everything and wanna know everything about everything.
And so what we do is we take that in as truth, and then it almost creates this blueprint for who we need to be in the world in order to be loved and accepted. And so here enters the adolescent chair, which is about seven to 24 pre-adolescent adolescents and post adolescents. And this is the seat of the ego.
This is just brain development. This is when we're kind of starting to notice that we're separate and see, okay, who do I need to be in order to belong? So this is where we might adopt the mask of, you know, people pleasing or the achiever or the class clown even. Maybe that's how I get my attention. Or we might avoid or suppress our emotions because they're not acceptable to our caregivers.
And so why would I do that if it's gonna threaten my attachment? And this is also where the seat of addiction can be born as well, usually in later adolescence, sometimes mid, because we're trying to suppress those feelings of the inner child because they're not acceptable. And so a lot of times what happens in this chair, we live in story and assumption.
We live in the past. In the in the future, we're not able to stay present with what is. And so we're constantly looking to see where do I fit, where do I belong, and how do I get my needs met? And so we'll do that at all costs. And so unfortunately, this is where a lot of people live their lives. I. We're constantly seeking that external validation, and we're constantly seeking safety, not realizing that true safety actually lies within ourselves, which is at the age of 25.
Our prefrontal cortex is fully online. And if we had models that showed us kind of how to feel our feelings, and this was kind of part of our natural brain development, then at that point we slide into our adult chair pretty, pretty seamlessly. You know, of course we're gonna still have our, our speed bumps or, upsets, but, you know, we have awareness of how to ground ourselves and how to stay present and feel our feelings.
We can set boundaries effectively. You know, we live in fact and truth over story, overstory an assumption. And we can be responsive rather than be reactive. You know, we're, we have the ability to pause when we're in our adult. And so that is the goal really is to. Live more so in our adult chair, or at least to be able to witness our adolescent and child parts to determine the needs later.
And so that's a lot of times what we end up missing in adulthood are those tools to get into our healthy adult. And so sub unconsciously we live in our adolescent until we kind of hit these, you know, make or break points and we're like, oh, like I need a healthy adult. Like how do I find that?
And then you go on the soul search and you learn the tools that we were never taught in childhood, and to no fault of our parents 'cause they probably didn't learn 'em either, you know? And so it's this generational thing that we have to not have to, 'cause that's adolescent, we choose to embark on this journey of healing and discovery.
Laura Dionisio: I love that. Said. I think Michelle our mentor would be very proud. So in, in the context of, you know, 'cause we're talking about personal and career pivots. How does adult chair framework help us navigate that? 'cause I'm thinking of the listener who's, like, everything that Jenny's saying resonates in terms of, I'm fi, I'm finally following my heart.
You know, I'm wanting to shift or pivot a career, but things aren't going my way. Like, the timing's not working out. It just seems like there's roadblocks everywhere. Mm-hmm. And we tend to get tighter with that. So how would the adult chair model help a listener who is at that point in their transition?
Or even, like, how would it have helped you if you knew this language at the time?
Jenny Jansen: I think I, unc not unconsciously knew the language, but
let me think about that question.
The adultery helps us to get present. When we're in our adult, we are present and we live in fact, in truth. And we live with,
we live with conscious awareness of what our soul is here to do. And so I think when, if I was looking back at myself toward the end of that two year, quarter life crisis, quote unquote, if you will you know, I kind of reached a point where I knew I was kind of reaching the, the end of that sever, the severe part.
And when I, when I was making the decision to either go back to teaching or go to grad school, 'cause at that point I did have a choice, I had a pivot to make. I think it took me learning to lean on others who were in more of their adult show than I was. Because I didn't quite have the tools yet, or I wasn't solid enough in them.
I was learning tools of like coping and emotion regulation and things like that. But until I kind of got my feet fully planted on the ground, which I don't, still don't know if they're always fully planted, but, you know, planted enough to make that next step. I think a lot of it was surrendering to the need to have it all figured out for myself.
That's, and so if I don't have a healthy adult, luckily now especially, I have the wherewithal enough to say, you know, Laura, I need an adult. I mean, how many times have I done that to you? I'm like, Laura, I need an adult. Yeah, like I, I can't, recognizing enough that you don't have the tools that you need is actually more of your adult than in your adolescent.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. Because
Jenny Jansen: you're witnessing the fact that you don't have it figured out. And so the actual ask for help, and I, I think that this is something that, listeners could really benefit from is like the asking of asking for help is actually a conscious choice from your adult chair. It is not a sign of weakness.
It is not a sign of deficiency. And I think we judge ourselves for needing help, but I just wanna offer a different perspective that the act of asking for help is actually a very healthy adult thing to do. Because what's the opposite of asking for help is trying to do it all yourself and then crumbling underneath.
And then you're trying to like bury yourself out from underneath all the rubble of whatever happens as a result of not asking for help. And I think if I hadn't have learned to trust, ' cause I, I mean, I, I, I'm telling you, those two years was a street fight. I flipped off so many people. I cussed out so many people.
I am, I mean, and, and I share that with people and they're like, you, and I'm like, I, I'm not always, I have not always been. And I still flip people off, but sometimes, usually, usually out of love. I'm just like, oh yeah. Like, ha, your love
Laura Dionisio: language.
Jenny Jansen: It's my love language. It's usually when like somebody pushes my buttons and they know that they're calling me out on, on something that I need to be called out on.
It's just kind of like, uh ha. Yeah, you got me. Yeah.
Laura Dionisio: The sign of love. Especially if she flips you off with two hands too.
Jenny Jansen: I think at one point I even like tried to bring my toe up, like my middle. I was like, Laura, how many times, how many ways can I flip you off right now? But at that point it's like I was, it was such a street fight for me to learn how to surrender and to receive.
Laura Dionisio: Mm. And
Jenny Jansen: to not have to have it all figured out. And I think that there's such a. I remember just weeping at one point because I was like, the first time that I actually admitted like, I can't do this. And I was so scared because I have always been a very independent person. Even as a kid I was like, I was the kid that would like get sick in the middle of the night and not, you know, not wake anybody up.
Like I just like, I'll handle it, I'll handle it, you know? And what's interesting is like those, that pattern, you know, however, wherever it got formed, it's like that carried on and then it, when life got harder as it does, as we gr get older, I still had that belief that I had to have it do it all myself.
And so to dismantle all of these programs that were built in that child chair, it's like that's what we do when we're in our healthy adult is we have to go back and almost re-parent those parts and say, no honey, like it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. And it wasn't until I surrendered and learned to receive that level of help.
That I was able to more fully access my own adult because I had models that were helping me to access it. And so in the pivot of, you know, personal pivot, professional pivot, it's like learning to almost get adulty or adults on your team. Like you're an adult 'cause you're making the decision to ask for help.
But also it's like, I need an adulty or adult to like help guide me a little bit and help you to build that trust within yourself. And once that will reflect back to you.
You know, shout out to my therapist all the time. 'cause I'll ask her, she's like, Jenny, I trust you. She's, I trust you more than you trust you.
You know, but I'll, you know, but she tells me all that. She's like, you can trust yourself.
And I still ask for a lot of valid, validation on certain topics, but it's, it's a lot less than it used to be because when I have people that I trust that share their trust in me, it's like, that's okay.
So maybe. I might not believe this about myself, but I know she does. And so, and I trust her. So maybe by some sort of weird translation, got lost in translation somewhere that I can, I can borrow that energy a little bit.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. You can start to trust in, in you. What I'm hearing from, from what you're sharing is that with the adult chair model, and this is personally why I also love it so much, is that it gives us a chance to question what we think are truths.
Like you just mentioned you thought it was a truth, that you had to handle everything yourself.
Mm-hmm.
And it turns out it was just programming that you picked up, that you and the adolescent chair, that part of you picked up, uh, because of a feeling that you felt in, you know, in your childcare. Mm-hmm. So I think the language of being to frame, being able to frame, okay, this thought that I'm having, for example, like what you said, that I need to be in grad school by the end of this year.
Right. It's like. Is that actually true? Like I think the adult chair model helps you question things that feel true physically, maybe. Mm-hmm. But then it allows you to like, create space and really ask yourself like, is this true? Probably not. And if it's not true, what is actually true?
Jenny Jansen: And even if you get caught in the, well, of course it's true.
Of course it's true. You know, 'cause that's the adolescent wanting that certainty.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: And so a question that I often offer to myself and offer to clients is like, okay, well if that's true, what else could be true?
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. What else could Oh yeah. Play with that. Right? Yeah. What
Jenny Jansen: else could be true? And always replacing the word should, with could.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. You
Jenny Jansen: know, it's like when I'm shoulding on myself, then I know I'm in my adolescent chair. I, I say should is a worse word than the F word. Like in my book, like, I will, I. A client says, should, you know, they can drop F-bombs all day long. But if they say should, I'm like like, call them out on it, you know?
Because what does shoulding do? You know, it keeps us bound. It keeps us stuck. Mm-hmm. It keeps us small, but when we open up the idea, expectation could.
Like, it expands our possibilities. And I think when we get so narrow minded on a spec, I'd love, shout out to my friend Laura Dionisio, who's don't get attached to the plan.
Oh, yeah,
Laura Dionisio: that's right. I know.
Jenny Jansen: It's like, you know, I was so attached to the plan. I mean, that was, I'm, I'm like poster child for that phrase, because I was so attached to my plan.
And it's not until I release that attachment because I thought, yeah, I thought I was gonna die. I thought, I mean, my safety, my, my belonging, everything was revolving around my, my achievement, my status, who I was, who I thought I was supposed to be, or thought I should be, quote unquote.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: That I was blinding myself to who I could be.
Laura Dionisio: Ooh. That's so good. And that's why shoulding all over yourself is not great because you are blinding yourself to who you could be.
Mm-hmm.
I like that. I like that. I just came up with that. You did. Yeah. So let's kind of fast forward a little bit.
So you, you're done with the two years you entered grad school and then you got a job at a social center. Is that what you
Jenny Jansen: Yeah. Community mental health center. So community mental. So worked, so worked for the state, Okay. In their community mental health center. And I worked with individuals sometimes like parents would come in or, you know, couples and things like that.
But I primarily did individuals in groups. Mm-hmm. And so I ran skills groups and process groups through, um, dialectical behavior therapy. I was intensively trained which is a, a treatment for a very high risk. Clients that are very, you know, suicidal and, um,
Laura Dionisio: mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: It gets very, very high risk. So they had to do group once a week, an individual once a week, and then they even had access to an after hours.
You know, for crisis line, they had their own separate line. And so, so the population that I worked with was pretty, um, pretty challenging, but I loved it. And I loved, you know, the skills that I learned and the skills that I, I mean, I still use them, you know, with my clients today as necessary. And because they're just great life skills.
Mm-hmm. And so that being a foundational piece and teaching groups, I loved God, I loved the group setting, and I loved just being one-on-one with people. Like, I really felt like there was just a magic that happened. And, you know, being in the community mental health center, it opened my eyes to such a wide range of people and with all walks of life, I mean at all ages, all backgrounds, various diagnoses that some of, I don't know what like.
Know what I'm doing. I'm like fresh outta grad school. But it was a great learning opportunity and a great way for me to really build my confidence.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: So I worked in the DBT program for about two and a half years, and then I switched over to the Young Adult program, which is 18 to 30. And so I was able to not necessarily be under this structured umbrella of A DBT program, but I almost, it was really cool 'cause it was kind of a stepping stone where I got to take what I learned in the structured program and almost create my own structure
Laura Dionisio: in
Jenny Jansen: this young adult program.
So I started forming my own groups and I started forming, you know, my own way of, you know, working with clients and I had a little bit more flexibility, you know, outside of the structured program to really build confidence and expand into finding my groove with who I wanted to be as a therapist.
And so, while I was working at young adults, I discovered the Adult Chair Podcast. 'cause all this time I'm still in therapy. I'm still doing my own healing stuff. Mm-hmm. You know, never, never stop. Like I said, I'm, I'm like a student of life, and I think, so I learned about the Adult Chair Podcast, and it happened to be you, it was November, because Michelle was offering a free month in her membership.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: And I was like, oh, cool. Like, I'll do anything for a month for free. Like, whatever, I'll, I'll jump on it. And then, um, so I did the free month in the membership, and it was the 30 day journaling challenge month. And so it was like, there was a lot of big things that were happening, and I was just like drinking it up.
I was like, I could not get enough of it.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: And I started using what I was learning with my therapy clients and seeing such intense drastic changes when I was applying the things that I was learning through this podcast and through the membership. And so, you know, the end of the free month, I was like, okay, well, whatever, I'll do it through the end of the year and then I'll, whatever.
And then, and here we are five years later, obviously I never stopped learning through the show. You know, it's you know, it's like when I, when I think I'm like, eh, yeah, I'll try it. And then it's like, no, like this is the secret sauce. And I think, and then it wasn't long after that she started her coaching certification.
Laura Dionisio: Actually, can we pause? Pause real quick? Absolutely. 'cause I think this is important to highlight the adult chair has become such a bigger part of your life than you could have imagined when you first signed up for that free thing, right? Nope. You were just kinda like, casually I'll just whatever. Just do the free month Yeah. And the reason I wanted to pause here is to say, I think movies and like books and like fictional stuff, and even sometimes when we reflect back, we tend to think that the pivot that started at all was like this big thing. And the reason I wanted to pause here is to point out that sometimes it can be the big thing, but sometimes actually often it's like a small nudge, like a small voice that tells you something that.
Probably doesn't make sense at the moment as far as like, like for example, when, when Jenny got the feeling of let's just try this for a month. I'm sure she wasn't thinking because it's gonna change the course of my entire career.
Jenny Jansen: No, and I, and it's funny 'cause I actually learned about Michelle because I learned about being a highly sensitive person, like being an HSP.
And so I kind of went down that rabbit trail for a little bit and I was in this Facebook group for HSPs and somebody had recommended Michelle's podcast on codependency or something like, I don't know. And so I was like, oh, cool, another podcast to listen to. And then, so it just, oh, I'm offering a free month in the membership.
So it just, it's like, you never know. It's almost like the string, like you just keep, and it keeps unraveling. And it keeps unraveling. And then before, you know, you're knitting a sweater and you didn't, you didn't realize it, but at the same time it's like, but like the nudges just kept coming and just kept coming and the opportunities just kept presenting themselves.
And it got to the point where I could not say no.
Laura Dionisio: And I
Jenny Jansen: fought it. I mean, how many times did I talk to Michelle before joining the coaching program? And she's like, Jenny, like, you're already doing this.
And so it's like, again, taking that leap of faith, like I did when I started treatment, it's like I had to take that like big leap of faith and just say like, this is what I'm gonna do and I don't know how it's gonna turn out.
Or when I quit teaching, I, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I know I can't stay here.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. And
Jenny Jansen: so sometimes it is about stepping out on blind faith and just trusting that, you know, Michelle calls it the illuminated path. Like the lights are gonna come as, as they're meant to, but we don't have to know all of that.
Laura Dionisio: And probably we won't actually. No. You're, and here is what I've learned, like through my own reflection and talking to like other people about this, is that you won't really see how it makes sense until you're at the other, like you're on the other side. And if in the moment you're at, you can see the entire path, you're probably playing small.
Jenny Jansen: And you're probably on the wrong path. 'cause it means somebody else has already paved it.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah.
Jenny Jansen: And interestingly, as you're saying that, you know, not knowing how things are going to end up, it's like if I had have thought 12 years ago that my life was gonna end up here, I would, I would've laughed in your face.
Yeah. Even five years ago when I was at mental health, I was gonna get the coaching certification and just kind of say like, okay, yeah, I'll just keep using this with my clients. And then all of a sudden part of the program is a business model and I'm just like, oh, I guess I'm doing this. Like, okay, hello next stone on the illuminated path.
Not what I was expecting, but also when I look back at that 12 years ago or 11, I don't know, whatever, my quarter life crisis, it's like I see it as this. I did not know what, what which way was up for those two years. Mm-hmm. Pretty much, I was moving around, I had, you know, a million therapists because I moved, you know, different places.
Moving back home, you know, trying to figure out life. But it's interesting that I think about where I am today and how much I get tearful thinking about it, like how much gratitude I had for that younger version of me. Because if it wasn't for her continuing to take step after step blind faith after blind faith, I would not have learned the lessons that are now serving me in helping my clients heal.
Because I had, again, going back to the learn by doing, like I had to learn through doing. And I know that that knowledge now is so embedded in me that there's no book, there's no manual, there's no training, there's no course that can teach me the things that I learned through my own experience.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: And so I think when it comes to, when, you know, when you're talking about like being in the past, it's like I used to shame the shit out of myself. For that part, I used to hide it. And that's why here I'm like on a, I don't know who's gonna be listening to this, but I don't care because I'm so proud of that person that I used to be the one who was, you know, you know, a minute away from being six feet under.
It's like I'm so grateful for her and it's like I look back and just think of who I could have been and who I chose to be. And so, and those choices are coming from that adult chair, the choice to keep going and in service and in favor of the highest and healthiest version of myself, just to see what could happen.
Like that counselor that said, you could always go back to your old life, like, that's fine. Like you have that choice. And I think we all kind of hit. Those points and pivot and personal life and professional life where you can, you know, go left or go right and or go forward or, you know, slip back. I mean, we still slip back at times into old patterns.
And I think it's about the perseverance to say, okay, but this time I slipped, I didn't slip for as long.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: Or this time I lost my footing, or my adolescent took the driver's seat. Oh okay. Sweet love. Like, it's okay, I'm here now. And so how do we get our adult back on the online so that we can still continue to live as the healthiest version of ourself in line with our soul's purpose?
Laura Dionisio: I love that. And you know what I'm thinking about Jenny is I'm thinking about the listener who, as you said, is shitting or shit. Who was shitting that too, who was shoulding all over themselves and judging their younger self. Like I should have started sooner. I should have made a different choice.
And for one thing, like we were just talking about, you never know how big a seemingly small decision is gonna be until afterwards, so it's a lot easier to see things in hindsight.
But on the other hand, what would you say to that listener who was like, no, but you don't get it, Jenny, I did this one thing and I like, that was the dumbest mistake I ever could have done.
Or it's too late for me to start over because I should have done it at the, like, what do you have to say, or what would you tell those listeners who are feeling that way now?
Jenny Jansen: First thought that comes to me is that if I had that mentality 12 years ago, I wouldn't be where I am now. And so it's never too late to make a different choice.
It's like every single minute that we're alive is an opportunity to pivot. I think that if you are stuck in a life, in a relationship, in a career, in a pattern, in a habit, in a secret, in an addiction that you, that is draining you, that is sucking the life out of you. It's like, that's not what we're here for.
Like, we are here to live full soul expanded lives. And I laugh all the time. I think about my soul. I'm like, I don't know why. Like my soul chose this life. Okay, cool. Like here we are, you know, talking about throwing the middle fingers up. Like really, you know, like sometimes I wanna flip off my soul because I'm like, this is hard stuff, and trusting the divine purpose of what you're here to experience is what you're experiencing. So if you are in that place of being stuck, your soul is meant to be stuck. And so even if you just embrace, I feel stuck right now. Right now. Because when you're, right now you're in your adult, you're in the present.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: So as soon as you can witness exactly what you're experiencing, exactly what you're feeling. At that point, you can create space to say, okay, this is how I'm feeling right now. And then now what? You know, it's like the, it's like what is the impact that has on me? I learned about this framework just recently.
It's like the what, so what now? What, what's the issue? So what, what's the impact now? What's the next step? And so often we get stuck in that the what and the so what That we fall into victim. We fall into this idea that like, oh, well this is just the life that I chose and this is what mm-hmm.
You know, this is what I'm meant to be, but what if it didn't have to be that way? You know, I could have chosen to stay stuck in that, in that life of chaos is really the best way to put it. Or I can make a different choice. And then I could have chosen to go back to that life of chaos if I wanted to, but at least I had more data.
You know, and so I think that to that listener. Who's struggling, like, you know, oh, it's too late. It's, what's the harm in trying and knowing, like, your life now is, is a default. You know, it, well, you know, you could always, I could have gone back to teaching after my two years.
I could have like, okay, well I know that I ha you know, like I, I know that I know how to do it, but it's also, contributed to some really unhealthy and unhappy feelings.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. And
Jenny Jansen: so at what point do you choose yourself and choose a different path and take that risk? And maybe it's a great risk, maybe it's not, but you learn and see seeing everything as a learning experience.
Because if I hadn't have taught, I would not have uncovered the passion that I had for helping people in meaningful ways. Like, like the one-on-one.
So I loved being a teacher and I loved helping my kids, but what lit me up was the one-on-one connection. So I was like, okay, cool. Like, I know I can teach and I know that I can help people.
But my how changed
Laura Dionisio: mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: How I'm helping people changed. And so it didn't mean that I radically shifted my entire life. I just shifted how I was living it and what I was choosing to use my gifts, how I was choosing to share my gifts with the world was just, it just pivoted.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah, I like that. And something that you said really struck me for, for those listeners who tend to be like more analytical, like I am very analytical.
Mm-hmm. Something that Jenny said, and I think this is something I've said in my own journey, is I'm just collecting data. So it's a way of putting your current situation at a neutral space. So like I can say, Hey, this data point of where my life is right now it's a shitty data point.
Sure. But it's just data. Now how might, how might I collect. More data. Mm-hmm. And for me at least, that reframe puts enough space between me and the feelings of like fear of uncertainty. Mm-hmm. Fear of uncertainty, that then I'm like, oh, I can collect more data. Yeah. So for a listener, like hopefully that's helpful.
Jenny Jansen: Yeah. And that's like the more data points you have, the more information, which is what we do in the adult chair. We get our facts and truth. Yes. And so it really is just collecting more facts and saying, okay, does this resonate with my truth? And learning how to feel like learning how to recognize your, like we're, we're used to thinking our way through.
And I think that's where I was when I was grad school this and half-assing this and half-assing asing this, it was more about like, what am I actually feeling? And it's like, I felt like I was crumbling. And so it's like, okay, there's a data point.
You know? Yeah. Because I promise you.
Laura Dionisio: You're, you think you're thinking, but you're actually feeling things and you're not acknowledging it.
Exactly. So I'm thinking
Jenny Jansen: about my feelings, but I'm not actually feeling my feelings.
Laura Dionisio: Yes. But the feelings are still there.
Jenny Jansen: Yes. Or what I should be feeling there I go, my, my cuss word again. You know, it's like I'm mm-hmm. You know, what, what should I be feeling or what, you know, instead of what am I actually feeling?
Mm-hmm. Like present moment.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: Right here, right now. What is my body, what is my body trying to tell me? Yes. And sometimes like learning how to really tune into those subtle somatic experiences. Like, is my heart open or does it close? Do I feel like mine? Mine is always like, I feel a fire in my chest when I'm like, like danger, danger kind of thing.
And so it's like when my, my, when my heart feels like a firework, it's like, okay, there's my body trying to get my attention. And all that does is give us information because then I can then look back at that and say, okay, well excitement can also feel like a firework, but also fear feels like a firework.
So that's where sometimes we get our brain online and we get our. Get curious about this is what it feels like. Okay. But what else could it be? Mm-hmm. And kind of bring in some of those additional exploration tools to really get to the root of what we're experiencing and what needs to happen next or not needs to, but what could happen next.
Laura Dionisio: What could happen next. Okay. So now let's walk through like the rest of the, of the pivot, right? So you, you did the adult chair certification. Mm-hmm. Your plan was you were gonna dust your hands off and just continue on, but then there was the business aspect and we graduated April of 2021. Mm-hmm. And then walk us through that period till the next point in your career.
Jenny Jansen: Um, I was still working at Columbia at the mental health center, uh, during my certification and, seeing clients like at night and on the weekends and, you know, finishing up my practicum hours and I had, it just got to the point where. I had a business, I had a website. It, it made, you know, suddenly I have a scheduling software, suddenly I have a payment.
You know, I'm just like, this is like an actual thing that I'm doing.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. Like, I
Jenny Jansen: never saw myself as a business owner. I was always one that was like, I'm just gonna, like, maybe I'll join a group practice. Like, I never wanted to be the one in charge. And so, 'cause I was terrified and even though, ironically enough, I was so independent, wanted to do it all myself.
But I think when it comes to my perfectionism, I was so afraid of getting it wrong.
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm. That
Jenny Jansen: I would rather just, you know, almost follow suit and follow the rules basically. And so when the certification was like, oh, you actually, you are gonna walk away with a business, I was like, oh, okay, so pivot number 12,000 in two year, in five years, you know, whatever.
And so I ended up so we graduated end of. April of 2021 and I put in my, I gave six weeks notice and I was out by the beginning of June and I started working virtually and I think I had like five clients my first week or like, you know, it was just like, it was scary is all get out and I'm so used to being so busy, busy, busy all the time that I really struggled and I was like afraid of going back to that almost quarter life crisis period when I had so much extra time.
But now I had new tools to learn how to, like, okay, so how do, how am I going to actually live in my adult in the space instead of feeling like I had to run away from myself? And so, you know, I just kind of continued to do the next right thing or I, I don't like to use the word right, but the next, you know what?
Organically aligned thing. Aligned thing. Thank you. And. So I just continued doing what I do and continued to build my clients and continued to just be myself, be the self that I was always meant to be. And I felt so empowered and felt so inspired by the work that I was doing that then became Master Coach certified and started doing consulting work and mentoring.
And so it's like as, again, it's almost like as the opportunities came and I felt the nudge and I felt the calling, it just, you just kind of keep allowing yourself to grow and keep, allowing yourself to expand into this next version of yourself. And I think, you know, so I've been in private practice on my own for, I guess for almost four years now.
And it's been. It's been magical. It's been heart, heart wrenching. It's been really, I mean, there's been a lot of growth opportunities just in this, in this pi I know I'm not done pivoting.
You know, but I'm also really grateful for, I mean, I went through a lot of pivots in a very short amount of time.
So, and now I'm in a place of like, I'm just gonna let me just like be here now. And I'm not gonna try to force, I'm not gonna try to push. And I'm just allowing the energy to, to just be where it is and just love it and love my clients. I love my work. I love, you know, learning. I'm still a student of life.
I still, you know, take trainings and still, I'm always learning new things to, help enhance, you know, my client's experience and to help myself grow so that I can still be the best version of myself and show up for my clients in the best way possible.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. By the way, I'm curious because you mentioned that when you first started you just had five clients in a week and you were so used to being busy.
Mm-hmm. How does your schedule now compare to when you were working at the mental health center in terms of like, numbers of clients you see?
Jenny Jansen: Well, it, it's grown of course over time. I don't see as many as I saw when I was at mental health. I mean, I was working, you know, 40 hours a week and like pushing that many clients.
So I don't see that many, but I feel like the work is more organic. I don't even like to call it work now. Like, I feel like my service, my, my connections with people are so much more organic that it feels like it did when I was walking with my kids at recess. Hmm. You know, it feels like it gives me that soul feeling of really connecting with people in meaningful ways and not, feeling like I was just like, you know, cranking out the next, oh, I got a new one on my schedule.
I don't even know who this person is. It's like, I feel like the alignment feels so. That even if I do have a super, super full busy week, I feel so nourished and fulfilled afterwards that I know that it's exactly where I'm meant to be. And so, yeah, I keep showing up and doing, doing my thing and see what happens next.
Laura Dionisio: Yeah. You know what I love, Jenny, is that it seems like where you are right now is like a full circle moment because you originally left teaching 'cause you realized the thing that you love the most is when you had one-on-one time with the kids during recess. Mm-hmm. You just mentioned that, you said that now the entirety of your, profession career. Mm-hmm. Whatever you wanna call it, brings that same energy. And before you became a teacher, you had to surrender the idea of making a lot of money. And see, I'm, I'm putting Jenny in the spot here 'cause she will never, she will never brag about herself. But Jenny, from where you are now compared to where you were four years ago, so when you were still working mental mm-hmm.
Health center mm-hmm. You said you're not working as many hours and from, you don't have to put, you don't have to give numbers, but from an income standpoint, are you making around the same, more like, yeah. See,
Jenny Jansen: no. Tell long. Yeah. I mean it's, I mean it's exponential and it's like the hour, I mean, I hate to say like hours equate to income and those kind of things.
'cause to me it's more about value and energy exchange and I feel like I. That's just to me the metaphor of where my heart was in the, in the work that I was doing when I was making less.
I think my, my salary and my income kind of reflected where my heart was. And so it's like the more I expanded my heart into the work that I was doing, it's almost like the money just kind of flowed at the same rate.
Is really what I can equate it to. And that's what makes me feel like it's not, I know money is a touchy subject for so many people, and I, or it's a, it's a challenging one because it, it represents our safety and security. And I also, you know, invite people to look at the value exchange and the energy exchange and what is, where is my energy going and what is that?
And unfortunately in today's society, we have to put a dollar value on things and otherwise we wouldn't be able to survive. And, but I think it's about changing the, the paradigm to, to value and to energy. And how is my life rich? How is my life richer?
Laura Dionisio: Mm-hmm.
Jenny Jansen: You know, if we wanna keep with some of the money lingo, but how is my life richer for having this experience?
How is my life richer for, for changing my career? How is, it's not about a financial richness to me, it's more about, it's more about the, the richness of the life experience.
Laura Dionisio: I like it. And what I'm hearing is basically this whole time you were just following the nudges of your heart, even though the ego in the mind was fighting you.
Oh yeah. A lot. And in doing so, you ended up with more time, more money, and a richer life. So all this to say. For the listener who's like, but it seems so scary. Yes, it is. Yeah. Not gonna sugarcoat A lot
Jenny Jansen: of tears. A lot of fighting, a lot of doubt. A lot of questioning. A lot of like, what the FMI doing? I mean, there's a lot.
There's going to be a lot. Just surrender to that. Surrender to that and
Laura Dionisio: choose, oh my god, that's so good. Surrender and choose. And what you'll end up with is something you couldn't possibly have ever imagined. Mm-hmm. It'll be better than anything you could have imagined
Jenny Jansen: if you choose that path.
You could, again, you could choose to stay where you are.
Laura Dionisio: Yes. If you choose. And just in listening to your story, you have to continually choose that path. Mm-hmm. It's not like a one and done. You have to keep choosing. Jenny, this was so good. Thank you so much for sharing your story for the 10000th time. I
Jenny Jansen: think this was better than the first one.
Maybe it was better think it was the fine time. I, I don't like to say better. We're not judging one or the other. It was, okay, I'll let you judge. It's like, yeah, no, I do feel like, you know, obviously there again, trusting the reasoning, trusting the timing. We had to let go of surrendering the timing.
Laura Dionisio: There was so much surrendering happening here, so much surrendering. I had to surrender the software. I was like, but the quality of the audio and video and it's like, you know what? Whatever.
Jenny Jansen: Yeah. We're just doing it.
Laura Dionisio: We're just doing this. If the listener is like, oh my God, I'm totally vibing with Jenny and I would love to connect with her.
How can people find you? My
Jenny Jansen: website is true conscious living.com and I am at True Conscious Living on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. I just cross post everything so you don't have to do all of them. But, um, basically everything that I have is on my website. I have a blog that I post monthly. Other podcast episodes I've been on are linked there.
If you wanna hear a little bit more on different angles although I think this is probably one of the be better ones Oh my God. But just saying. But yeah, anything you wanna know about me is on my website and, uh, I'd love to connect with your listeners and see how I could be of service or just to connect and, you
Laura Dionisio: know, chit chat.
Yeah. I love it. Thank you so much Jenny. And, um, until next time, and hopefully this recorded this time. Yes.
Jenny Jansen: Fingers crossed. If not, take 10,000. 10,000. Okay.
Laura Dionisio: I will stop recording.
Okay.