Ep. 12: Stop Overthinking: The Fastest Way to Get What You Want (Spoiler: Just Admit It)
You’re not stuck because you don’t know what you want, you’re stuck because you won’t admit it out loud. The moment you do? Game-changer.
In this episode of The Pivot Point, I’m letting you in on the exact sliding-doors moment that shifted my life, from overthinking my way through spreadsheets (hi, Laura A) to flowing toward my dream life in New York City (hey, Laura B).
Spoiler: I didn’t choose one path. I lived both.
We’re talking about the difference between circling the runway for two years versus getting crystal-clear and in motion in just a few months. If you’ve ever delayed a big career decision because you “needed a plan,” this one’s going to hit close to home.
This isn’t just a story about moving cities. It’s about learning to trust yourself without seeing the entire staircase. It’s about dropping the need to control every step and leaning into what your body, and your life, are already telling you.
Because success should feel good. What the hell is the point otherwise?
What You’ll Hear:
✔️How admitting what you want fast-tracks the path to getting it
✔️The difference between “Laura A” over-engineering life and “Laura B” going with the flow (and why you might be both)
✔️Three ways to cut through decision fatigue: trusted-friend reflection, the coin flip test, and body wisdom
✔️Why waiting until you know how is the number-one way to keep yourself stuck
✔️The sneaky ways fear dresses itself up as “responsibility” or “logic”
✔️How to take the first step even when you don’t have a five-step plan
“The fastest way to get what you want is to admit that you want it. Then? Let the plan go.”
If this episode hit home, don’t just sit there, move. Share it with the friend who needs a loving shove, and grab my free
Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter at https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career
And if you’re done feeling stuck and ready for real movement, book a free 20-minute call with me.
https://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-consultation
We’ll get you out of your head and into action.
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You are listening to The Pivot Point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, a founder of Lead Intact, and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Did you know that the fastest way to get what you want is to admit that you want it? Now, that might sound so obvious, but let me tell you a story of how I ended up moving from upstate New York to here in Brooklyn, which is where I am now. But I'm gonna give it to you in like a sliding doors type of scenario where it's like, let's call her Laura a for this one way of making the decision.
And Laura b by the way, if you don't know sliding doors, I probably am dating myself. It's a moving the nineties where basically it's about what if this one woman made a different decision anyway, besides the point. Okay. How I moved to. New York City from upstate New York. Laura a Laura a is an engineer and loves being an engineer to the point where she uses spreadsheet even in her personal life . Need to figure out what car to buy. Spreadsheet need to figure out which house to even look at spreadsheet. Need to figure out. If the person that she's with is the right one. You guessed it. Spreadsheet. So once Laura a had come to the realization that she no longer wanted to live in upstate New York.
She wanted to live in a city, but she didn't know which one. Guess what she did. Yep, you got it. Spreadsheet
So I knew when I moved from Los Angeles to upstate New York and I talk about that in the earlier episodes. I'll put it in the show notes here. I knew that it was temporary. Like I knew I just needed a pause. I needed to slow down, but I knew eventually I wanted to move back to a city. So one day I finally admitted to myself, yes, while I'm happy here, I have a community. I enjoyed my job. I had a great group of friends, I was just like, you know what? I'm getting ready. I didn't even say it's time. I am getting ready to move to a city.
And I remember thinking, okay, but which city? I just kind of overly complicated it for myself. This Laura, a, my god, not me. Um, couldn't be me. 'cause I am not like that. Yes, I'm okay. So this version of me, Laura a was not sure like which city she wanted to move to.
Okay. So the choices I had at the time in my mind was New York City back to Los Angeles or Boston. And so my game plan was to work remote. 'cause my dream even at that time was to work fully remote somewhere. This was pre pandemic when working fully remote wasn't really a thing for engineers. So anyway, I knew I wanted to work remote and I was thinking, do I go back to Los Angeles because, you know, my mom's getting older.
Maybe she can't maintain the house by herself anymore. Um, my dad actually had brought this up and so maybe I'll take over living in the house. I think I can go back to Los Angeles or do I move to Boston? I have family there also, and I have friends actually that I would visit a few weekends or.
Should I go to New York City? I mean, New York is fun. It's my favorite city to visit. I am there like once a month, if not once every other month, something like that. So these are my choices, and the plan was to. Work one week remote in each place. Because I thought to myself, I think a weekend is not sufficient.
It needs to be during a work week because I need to see what it would feel like to work. I need to see what my commute from whatever office I'm in is to the gym. I need to see like what kind of grocery stores and cafes.
You know, very data driven. So I talked to a few friends about this plan, right? one friend was like, Laura, you literally have never talked about Boston or la in the seven years that you lived in upstate New York, as far as like where you like to visit? I don't even know why this is a question. Obviously you like New York City. Just admit it and go from there. And I was like, no, she doesn't know. I visit Boston too and you know, like maybe I'm ready to come home to la.
And then another friend of mine, when I told my plan he was like, Laura, I have known you for a long time now, and I know for a fact that no matter where you go, you're gonna be happy because you're choosing to live there.
So I don't think this is gonna help you make your decision. And I was like, no. I must follow this. This is the plan. And guess what, I did that, I spent a week in each place and my second friend who said like, doing this is not gonna help you make a decision was right. 'cause I could see myself living in all three places. So I grappled with this for like two years, and in those two years did not make a decision.
Now let's talk about Laura B. What if, like I said earlier, Laura B, instead of trying to engineer her way to a decision, she just admitted. That what she wanted was to move to New York. As Laura BI am living my best life. I am going for walks. I am doing my workouts. I'm with friends, and I'm just like generally open and relaxed. And then one day, I am scrolling through social media, and I happened across a story of a friend of mine who was moving from Colorado to New York City, and it wasn't like a particularly profound story post.
It was just like, oh, LOL. This is what, $3,000 a month gets you and Chelsea for those who are not from New York City or are not familiar. It's like you basically get a studio for $3,000 a month in Chelsea. No joke. Okay. So anyway, I. I see that post and suddenly I'm like, I wanna move to New York City.
And let's just say this was like January of that year, and rather than spreadsheeting or engineering my way through what the next steps are, I just kind of go with the flow and take action as I feel inspired to. I have like a plan ish, like. You know, Hey, my birthday's in July. It'd be cool to celebrate my 35th birthday in New York City as a New York City resident.
Wouldn't that be something? But hey, if I move by April, that would be cool too. But no attachments. It was just kind of like throwing out that desire, just throwing it out there. Whatever pops up in my mind, right? Like, oh, just do some research on where the best platforms are to sell my excess furniture, because I'd be going from a three bedroom house to presumably a one bedroom apartment, so I probably can't keep most of my stuff.
All right. That's an activity. And then another activity. She's just like, oh, you know what, uh, my friend moved from upstate New York to New Jersey. Let me stay with her. For like a few days, just so I can scope out which neighborhoods to live in. And you know what, even though I visited New York City a lot, I'm actually not that familiar with the different neighborhoods.
So let me go call two of my friends just to get an idea. I did still use a spreadsheet as Laura B, wrote down the neighborhoods, had this whole game plan of, all right, February, I'm just gonna check it out and like maybe sit with it and do like the usual criteria spreadsheet that I do.
And then maybe a few weeks after that I might come back to New York and reassess what neighborhood I like. What ended up happening is February when I stayed with a friend and I looked at maybe four apartments, but as soon as I saw the apartment in where I lived at the time, long Island City, I was just like, this is it.
And there were some barriers to that because your annual income has to be 20 times the monthly income, something like that. And I didn't quite meet it because it was pandemic pricing. Like I could do the pandemic pricing, but not a total.
So I had to go through this whole process. But you know what Laura B was chill. She was just like, this is it. This is what I want. I'm gonna make it happen. And Laura B made it happen. Now, my question to you is. Which path do you think I took? Like my story of moving from upstate New York to New York City?
Do you think I was Laura? A. Or do you think I was Laura b I'm gonna give you some time to think.
Okay. If you still don't want to know the answer, hit pause real quick. The answer is, I was Laura, a b, I did both of those things. So all this to say. I know when I said earlier, the fastest way to get what you want is to admit what you want. That sounds simple enough, but truthfully, I think a majority of us can't even really be honest about what we want because we think that in order for us to say yes to what we want, we need to be able to see how to get there.
That was the issue with Laura. A and guess what? I didn't even make a decision. It was like two years. The pandemic happened. And so with the pandemic, I learned to let go of a lot of things. I joined Michelle Chalfant's adult chair coaching certification program.
So I just became a lot more self-aware of my patterns, my limiting beliefs and stuff like that. A lot of things happened, in terms of me getting really in tune with myself and letting go of this controlling part that thinks I need to know how to do something before I even go for it.
And so that's really what led to my decision in January of 2021 to move down to the city. And then by April 1st, seriously, by April 1st, I was a New York City resident. I got certified as an adult chair coach through Michelle Chalfant's program. In Laura a and Laura b. Which do you see yourself if you're listening to this podcast? More than likely a lot of it Laura A and maybe a little bit Laura B. Right. Hey, that's me too.
And I've been doing this a long time at this point, so for those of you who are like, wow, I didn't even realize that I am stopping myself from admitting what I want because of this need to know, the path to get there before I can even say yes to the thing. Here are some ways where you can make a decision faster without feeling like you have to know.
How to get there. Okay. Because, it sounds simple, but having gone through this myself, my friend literally told me, you've never talked about the other city. Of course you want New York City. So that's the first method. Talk to a trusted friend. If you want, talk to two trusted friends and then tell them about the choices that you are looking to make.
So in my case, it was like Boston, LA or New York City. Ask them to listen and reflect back to you. Which of the choices seems like I'm lighting up. You're not asking them to tell you what to do, you're just asking them to reflect back how you seemed when you were talking about each of the decisions.
That's one way to kind of get you outta your head. And I'm not saying go with what your friend says, but just. Pay attention, right?
Because sometimes we can't see ourselves clearly, especially when we are in that overthinking cycle. I'm raising my hand here. I get it. I still am like that from time to time. The second way is something that my coach, whose name is also Laura, so you know, she's awesome, mentioned to me. So it's a coin test.
So this is if you have like a yes or no type thing, like if I was gonna say something like, do I wanna move to New York City or stay here? What you do is you say heads for one decision and then tails for the other. You flip a coin and you look, and the point isn't whether it's heads or tails. The point is how did you react to it?
If I had said, okay, heads, I stay here, tails, I move to New York City. And then the coin said heads, which is like, stay here. And I felt disappointed. Well then, there you go. That tells me what I actually want. And again, you don't have to make a decision yet. What we're just trying to do is what do you actually want?
Just be clear on what you want. The third way is something that I think is the most effective, but for me at least, it took the most time to develop. And that is by basically tuning into your body. I like to call it leaning into your body wisdom. So what I mean by this is you're just gonna sit down, take a deep breath, get yourself.
Grounded, which just means get yourself in the present moment. Don't think about the thing that you have to do or the grocery list or you know, if you did the thing or if you turned your hair curler off. Okay? Just get grounded in the moment and if you find that your head's still spinning. A trick to get grounded and stay present, is to slowly look from left to right, and as your eyes are moving, you just name in your head.
The things that you're seeing. So do that and then ask yourself the question of, do I want decision A? So in my case, do I want to move to Boston? And then I just pay attention to what happens in my body. Maybe there's a tightness, maybe nothing at all, or I don't know, maybe my heart feels a little open.
Okay. And then I ground myself again. Maybe look from left to right slowly, and then I ask myself the, the next decision, do I want to move to la? Same thing. I just pay attention to what my body's doing. And then I ask third time, do I want to move to New York City?
Now it's gonna feel. Different from person to person, but just based on my own experience and in doing this exercise with clients, with my fellow coaches and even friends, usually a yes answer feels like a lightness, an openness in your chest. Maybe even like I think I have some friends who feel shivers.
Just pay attention. I don't know what it's gonna be for you. A no is typically like a heaviness. For me it almost feels like my chest is caving in and I feel a tightness in my chest. For some people it might be a tightness in their stomach. So whatever it is, just pay attention.
So to me, once you start mastering, like really tuning into your body wisdom, it really is the fastest way. For you to get real with yourself as to what you actually want.
All right, so all that to say, unlike Laura, A, follow Laura B instead, you don't need to have a plan in order to say yes to something. In fact, let go of the plan. Because the thing you want is probably something really amazing. And if you knew how to get there, you'd be there already. Okay. Fuck the plan.
Let it go. I know. Easier said than done. I get it. If you are just kind of a little bit lost, like what does body wisdom mean? Or you are in this loop of, I don't know what decision to make. When it comes to your career or maybe a life transition like you're looking to move, or if you're like me, you're like, I'm looking to move and change my job, you know, fuck it.
Let's do everything and you'd like more support. Book a free 20 minute call with me. Let's do it. Let's talk through what your decision is. Maybe we can practice how to tune into your body wisdom. And if you are into free things like I am, I have this freebie called the Heart Aligned Career Transition Starter.
It's a four part email series. It walks you through a little bit of this process, and there's a meditation in there too. Maybe there's even two, I can't remember, but you can get that at my website at www.leadintact.com. If this resonated with you, hit like, subscribe, leave a review, share it with your friends, and you know what?
Do all of it. If you're an overachiever like me and send me a DM two on Instagram @leadintact, and remember, proceed as if success is inevitable because it is. I'll talk to you next time.
All right, friend. That's it for today's drop. If this episode hits something deep, don't just sit with it, act on it. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and then head to www.leadintact.com to grab your free heart aligned career transition starter, or book a free 20 minute call with me. I'm here when you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start moving toward what you really want.
Catch you next time.