Ep. 65: Nervous System as Your Core Operating System (part 2)
Have you ever built a spreadsheet to confirm what you already knew in your gut? Laura did. Multiple times. And she's got receipts.
This is part two of a two-part series on why your nervous system is the most important system in your business and your career. In this episode, Laura gets into something most high-achievers will recognize immediately: the habit of collecting data not to make a decision, but to justify the one you already made intuitively. She shares two real stories from her own life, one about a sofa and one about a career-defining job choice that had her building an actual trade study matrix in a spreadsheet she named "First World Problems," to show exactly how this pattern plays out and what it costs you.
The job story is the one that hits. Twelve years ago, Laura had two job offers in Upstate New York. One was familiar, safe, a natural next step. The other required her to walk away from eight years of engineering identity and a nearly-finished master's degree in systems engineering. Her intuition said option two immediately. Her friend said, "Do not spreadsheet this, it is so clear." Laura made the spreadsheet anyway. Scored it. Rated it. Option two won. And she still hesitated. The problem was not the data. The problem was a nervous system that had been wired to believe that if something feels easy, it is not safe.
Laura rounds out the episode with two concrete starting points for reconnecting with your intuition.
What You'll Hear:
✔️Laura built a spreadsheet called "First World Problems" to decide between two job offers, and the data told her exactly what her intuition already had.
✔️A belief that getting what you want requires hard work can wire your nervous system to distrust easy choices, and then manufacture difficulty where there does not need to be any.
✔️Intuition differs from person to person, so instead of looking for a universal framework, Laura walks you through how to find the pattern that is specific to you.
✔️AI is fast, but according to Laura, your intuition is faster.
"Intuition is still faster. Claude seems fast, but it's really just a supercomputer using a bunch of data and basically logic. As much as it knows, as smart as it is, it’s still not you."
— Laura Dionisio
Ready to stop spreadsheeting decisions your gut already made? Book a free 20-minute clarity call with Laura: https://www.leadintact.com/freeclaritycall
And if you are in the middle of a career transition and want a place to start, grab the Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter: https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career
Links and Resources:
The Pivot Point Podcast: https://www.leadintact.com/the-pivot-point-podcast
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@leadintact
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You made the move, or maybe you're about to, or maybe you're still in it, showing up, performing, delivering, while something quiet in the background keeps saying, "This is not it." Either way, something has shifted, and you can't unknow it. Here's what nobody tells you. The landing strip is a little rocky once you come down from the high of accomplishment.
There are moments of real excitement, real clarity, like, "Yes, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be." And then night comes, and the anxiety rolls in, the what ifs, the what am I actually doing? Not because you made the wrong choice, by the way, but because you're standing in the space between who you were and who you're becoming.
Done pretending this is enough, done pushing through, done ignoring the thing that keeps pulling at you. That's exactly where this podcast lives. I'm Laura [00:01:00] Dionisio, founder of Lead Intact, and I've been exactly where you are. The corporate success that stopped feeling like success, the leap that was equal parts terrifying and necessary, the messy, non-linear process of building something that actually fits, and learning to trust yourself through all of it.
This is the pivot point. Real conversations about what's actually happening beneath the surface, and what it takes to build a life that feels as good as it looks. Not just the wins, the attempts, too. Because I'm not here to romanticize the journey. I'm here to show you what it's really like. Let's get into it.
Have you ever collected data just to prove to yourself that your intuition was correct the first time? Same. Welcome [00:02:00] to another episode of the Pivot Point Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, so happy to have you here.
And just a note that this is actually part two of a two-part series on why your nervous system is actually the most important system in your business.
If you don't own a business, it's still the most important system for your career, for you having the kind of life that you actually desire. If you wanna hear more about how a disregulated nervous system can actually stop you from getting the kind of life that you want, because it sometimes masks itself as intuition, go listen to part one.
Today, we're gonna talk about why is it that we tend to go for data versus trusting our intuition to begin with, and how you can start harnessing the power of your intuition.
If you're like me, I've always been very data-driven. [00:03:00] Now, looking back, I also have been always very intuitive, but you're not really taught that in school, right?
And especially for me, I majored in engineering in college, and it's always been about collecting data, analyzing data, and then making decisions based on data. In fact, I was learning this particular entrepreneurial framework, we'll just call it, where one of the... I don't know if it's called a principle, but one of the, let's just call it principles that they have, is that they will help you learn how to make decisions from data, not feelings.
And I was just like, "No, thank you." And I'll share a couple stories as to why, because I also used to be the person that made decisions from data and not feelings. I think I know what they're trying to say, but it just struck me wrong because Part of your intuition is how you feel. But we'll get into that.
All right. Why is this important? It's [00:04:00] important because in our society, it's very much data-driven, very processed, very like, "Well, what does, what do the studies say?" And it's like, yes, that's important, and does that mean if you don't have the studies or data to back it up that it can't possibly be true?
And especially when it comes to decisions for your own life, you can't wait... I mean, I guess you could, but if you waited to have data before you made decisions, it's entirely possible, in fact, probable, that the opportunities will just pass you by. Or you may not even notice that they're opportunities because, I don't know, it wasn't, it didn't, quote-unquote, "make sense."
So I'm gonna share a quick story of the time that, one of many times, where I felt an intuitive nudge. I didn't know to call it that then, but I didn't trust it because I felt like I needed to collect data first, okay? So this is when I had just purchased my first condo, and I was looking to furnish it. [00:05:00] I was looking specifically for a couch, and I wanted a specific kind of couch.
Not super detailed. I wanted something that had like a chaise or like a lounge type thing. Like L-shaped, basically. But I wasn't really picky about the texture or, like, colors. I just had like a general vibe feeling. So I went to the first furniture store and found it immediately. I saw it. I was like, "That in that color, perfect for my condo."
Did I get it? No. I remember thinking but you know, it can't possibly be that easy." Okay? I'm gonna p- I'm gonna put a pin on that.
Here's the thing. If you have a dysregulated nervous system, and with that I mean a nervous system that thinks that everything has to be hard, like your nervous system thinks that if you don't struggle, then that's actually n- not the safe choice to make, you're gonna keep finding that your decisions seem very hard.[00:06:00]
Okay? All right. I'm gonna continue on to the story. I decided to go to two more furniture stores. I did my thing, collected data, wrote down the couches, the dimensions, all that. Guess which one I picked? The first one. Okay? That's just a simple example, one of many, in which I knew what I wanted, I knew what the right choice was for my space, but I didn't trust it until I had the data.
Now, you might be thinking, it's just a sofa. You know, like, what did it take, two other weekends, like, for you to find your sofa? It's not that big of a deal. I'll share another example in which it was much of a bigger deal, because it's not just in the case of your personal life that this can occur.
It's also when it comes to opportunities, career opportunities, and especially as a founder, where it's up to you to find and make these opportunities happen for you. [00:07:00] It's not the same as in corporate career. Of course, in corporate you still have to take ownership of your career, right? You still have to talk to people and, like, keep your eye out on things.
But when it comes to being a founder, owning your own business, that kind of thing, it's not as clear-cut. I can't just talk to someone who owns a similar business and be like, "Hey, do you have opportunities for me?" That's not how it works. It's especially important to be really in touch with your intuition when you own your own business.
So Here's a time where I also intuitively knew I had... Okay, let me back up. Here's a story of how looking to collect data versus just trusting my intuition impacted opportunities when it came to my career. So this was about 12 years ago, and it was after I was sent to Upstate New York for a temporary relocation assignment.
I talk about this in another [00:08:00] episode. But basically, I was supposed to be there for a six-month assignment, ended up being a year, ended up completely loving the area, decided I wanted to move there permanently. And when I had asked my then employer if I could just work remote from that area, because our supplier was still there, it was closer to the home office, I was told no.
Mind you, this is 12 years ago. Remote wasn't really... it's even less popular than it is these days, at the time of this recording. And I was just like, "Nope, I'm gonna move some way somehow." And so, you know, long story short, I did end up getting two job opportunities, both back in Upstate New York, and I had a choice in front of me.
Choice one, option one, was to take a job that is very similar to what I had done in the past. I was already a well-known, I wouldn't say expert, but I already had clear experience in exactly that job. Different product, but the same type of job. Option two [00:09:00] was a job that required me to leave the engineering space, and I think I'd been working eight years at that point.
And so my identity had been tied into being an engineer. Not only that, I was in the middle of getting my master's. I think I was one semester away from getting my master's in systems engineering. So this job wasn't to do with engineering. I'd have to leave while I was still getting my master's. It, quote-unquote, "Did not make sense."
And yet, my intuition was like, "That's the one. This is the one that lights you up. This is exciting. I know that's the one." Did I know know at the time? Not really.
And this is why it's very important to have a regulated nervous system where you trust that decisions actually get to be that easy. Not just trust in your mind and in your heart, but that it feels safe to trust when things come easy.
Okay? That sounds so [00:10:00] weird when I say it like that. But think about it. How many of you have heard, " In order to get what you want, you have to work hard"? Right? How many of you have heard that being a hard worker is given as a compliment? I have. What do you think that does to you, to your mindset, to your beliefs, and then in turn, your nervous system?
When you have that kind of belief, okay, you have the belief of in order to get what you want, you have to work hard, okay? It's a belief. It's a limiting belief, but it's a belief nonetheless. Then that translates into a mistrust of things that come easy, a mistrust of like an easy choice or opportunities that come easy, and when you mistrust it, what do you do?
Your system is like, "Ah, I'm gonna make sure you have the same type of experience that you're used to, because that's what's safe." You're gonna experience hardship where there doesn't have to be. So in my case, okay, like literally, I made a spreadsheet called first world problem [00:11:00] to help me make a decision between the two jobs.
'Cause I was aware, I'm like this isn't even like... I- it's not like I lost my job and I had to find a new job immediately. This was like a first world problem, and yet my experience at the time, I remember, like it felt hard. That's because at the time, unbeknownst to me, I had the belief that in order to get what I want, I have to work hard.
So if I wasn't working hard, that is counter to that belief, therefore my nervous system's like, "Well, that's not safe. In order to make it safe, I'm gonna make it more difficult for you." Okay? Go listen to part one. I talk more about like what to do in that case.
So anyway, I knew I wanted option two.
I knew I wanted that job that was being written for me where I had a vague idea of what it was, but I got a chance to shape my job. I got a chance to write my own job description. How cool is that? I remember talking to a friend, and I was like, "Hey, this is what's happening. This first [00:12:00] job that was offered, it's like really cool, because I already know how to do it.
It'll be really easy. Plus, they give you a stipend to go to the gym. That's cool. That's like extra money." And then I talked about the second job. "Oh, it, it's an opportunity I feel to really shape the culture of the business. They don't have, you know, like X, Y, and Z, and that's the expertise I'd be bringing, and it'd be a way to really shape it and like form processes that they don't currently have."
And she was just like, "Laura-" I swear to God, do not spreadsheet this, okay? It's so clear, it's so clear that it's option two because your voice just lights up. And I just went, "Mm-hmm. And then I created a, a spreadsheet called First World Problems. I put that a master's in systems engineering almost completed degree to use, created a trade study matrix, that's what it's called, wrote out all my categories.
You know, like, let me see. I actually genuinely wanna look at it so I can tell you what the actual criteria... Okay, here you go. Criteria: salary, number of [00:13:00] hours worked, long-term opportunity, job interest, career path, job security, vacation, relocation, tuition reimbursement. Those were my criteria, and then I basically scored each job in both of those.
And even in th- So this is, like, my way of creating data so I can trust my intuitive nudge, right? And here's what happened. I rated it, I scored it, and, uh, it was still option two. Did I immediately then go, "Oh my God, thank God, yes, the data says option two. Let's go with option two"? No. It didn't actually help.
And I wish I could say this is the only time I did the spreadsheet. No. I would do it many more times after this as well, you know? I didn't learn. So listener, please learn. You know, like, I will say, side note, the good thing about creating a spreadsheet like that is it helps you really focus on what's important to you.
So I will give myself credit for that. And it wasn't about the [00:14:00] criteria. It was just an intuitive nudge, go for option two. So I remember that. Now, I will say, looking back now, it was still pretty fast when it happened. I think it took four months in total for me to do a cross-country move, to interview, all that.
So it's still pretty quickly, and it could've been, it could've been two months. It could've been one month if I had just listened to my intuition first instead of gathering data first and then realizing later it didn't even help with my decision
So in, in part one of this series, we talked about how, you know, like even if you are one that you're looking to really rely on your intuition and that you have. You h- you know times in the past where you've done it. You know you're a highly intuitive person. But you may not have paid attention to your nervous system so much.
Again, listen to part one because I go through exercise in an... Exercise, excuse me. I go through a framework on how you can tell if it's your dis- if it's really your [00:15:00] intuition or it's a dysregulated nervous system. Now, today I'm gonna talk more about How do you know it's your intuition? How do you start, okay?
Maybe you already know, and that's great. But maybe, like me, you've always had it, but because you're so used to not making decisions that way, that you still kind of doubt that it can be that easy, right? I don't have a framework for you, 'cause here's the thing with intuition. It differs from person to person.
Isn't that such a fucking pain in the ass? What's true for me may not be true for you. Because like I mentioned, both with the couch or the sofa and the job, for me, what intuition feels like is just, it's just like a knowing that drops in. And sometimes I don't notice, like in the case of the job, that it dropped in because there's so much noise around it.
But upon reflection, it really is. For me, it's a knowing.
So, here is one thing you can do to help better understand what intuition feels like for you what the experience of [00:16:00] your intuition is for you. Look for past evidence, 'cause it's a lot easier to see things in hindsight. So just like I gave you the two examples with my sofa and with my job, think about times in your life where you were just like, "Oh yeah, my intuition was on point."
Maybe it's about a person who appeared to be really friendly and awesome, and you just had a bad feeling about them the whole time, and then you were proven right, okay? I have a lot of friends look at me and were like, "See, Laura, I told you." And I was like, "Damn, you were right." Or maybe it's even something simple like at work.
You were presented an opportunity, like a dream project, and on paper it seemed really good, but there was something in you that was like, "Something about it, I don't know." And maybe, maybe at the time you were like, "You know what? I'm gonna go for it anyway." And then you ended up not getting it, and maybe you were bummed out.
But then you realize now, "You know what? My intuition was on point. I'm glad I didn't get it." So just start looking for evidence. Don't try to correlate yet, "Okay, well, this is what [00:17:00] intuition feels like." This is where we are gonna be a little bit systematic. Write it out, voice note it, enter it into Claude, whatever, and then look for the pattern.
Now, you can, because we have AI, you can use Claude or ChatGPT or Gemini or whatever to look at your notes and try to find the pattern. But here's the thing. We wanna use your intuition instead to find the pattern. I know. Isn't that annoying? Like oh. But this is why we have Claude. I'm gonna do another podcast episode on this.
Truthfully, while AI has changed my life, and I'm sure countless others, intuition is still faster. Because Claude seems fast, it... but it's really just a supercomputer using a bunch of data and Basically logic plus a bunch of data. As much as it knows, as smart as it is, still not you. Okay? So I actually do encourage you to write it out and try to find the pattern.
What's the pattern? Was it just a [00:18:00] knowing? Maybe it's a knowing. Was it a feeling? I have a friend who said something like when they hear it, they hear it, first of all, they hear it, I think, on the right side or something like that, and then when they hear it on the left they know it's their mind or, or vice versa.
Maybe it's something like that. Maybe your intuition comes through writing. I don't know, but just start finding the pattern.
And if you're just like, "I have no idea. I don't know. I have no examples." Okay. This is where the second step, or maybe not step, but the second idea, I guess, comes to play. Ask your subconscious directly.
This is gonna sound so strange. I'm currently reading the book The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, highly recommend, it's super interesting, and your subconscious is, like, really fucking powerful, man. So ask your subconscious. Just say, "Hey, subconscious, powerful being that you are-" Tell me how my intuition communicates with me.
Now, you may not get an answer right away, but it [00:19:00] may come in form of dreams. It may come in form of like memories that suddenly keep popping up. It may come in form of two or more people suddenly telling you about their intuitive experiences and then they happen to be like, "Yeah, and in both times I like heard this quiet voice within."
You're like, "Heard quiet voice?" Right? Just start paying attention. And just like when you are starting to work out for the first time, know that it takes repetition and the more you do it, the more you're building that muscle so to speak. Now, I don't think it's like the intuition that you're building the muscle.
It's more like you're building the muscle for you to pay attention to the intuition. All right? So don't get discouraged. Keep doing it. Keep getting curious, and before you know it you're gonna be like, "Damn, I'm an intuitive badass." Okay, so just a quick recap.
Intuition's incredibly powerful. Okay? Like data is great.
Data is great to represent, I don't know, like a great [00:20:00] number of people, population, something like that. Data's not great when you're trying to make a decision for your own personal life, okay? I have so many spreadsheets, I can't even tell you. And it didn't, at the end of the day, didn't really help me make a decision.
Or even if it did, it only reaffirmed what I knew intuitively to be true for me anyway. Okay? So intuition really important. Also, it'll be really hard to connect to your intuition if you have a dysregulated nervous system, so start being curious about both of those. What does intuition feel like, look like, could be like for me?
And also, how is my nervous system? What actually feels safe to me? Because just like I mentioned in part one, if you have this beautiful dream to have a vacation home in Bali ... I don't know why I said that. Maybe one of you has that dream. And then it just seems like life keeps getting in the way. Is your nervous system actually calibrated to support that level of [00:21:00] ease and support and expansion?
'Cause if it's not, then that's really why you haven't gotten what you've gotten yet. Not to say that there aren't other factors, but it's definitely like a huge part of a block as to why you're not where you desire to be yet. All right.
That's all I have for today. If something really struck a chord, if you would like- support and help in trying to understand how intuition can be a huge part in your business and in making decisions, please book a free 20-minute clarity call with me at www.leadintact.com/freeclaritycall
And with that, thank you so much for being here, and I will see you next time. Bye for now.
If this episode hit something in you, good. That's not an accident. The discomfort you're feeling isn't a sign that something's [00:22:00] wrong with you. It's a sign that you're done. Done living in the eh, done waiting for it to magically feel better, done being really good at a life that doesn't actually fit you anymore.
And if good enough stopped being good enough a long time ago, that's exactly who I work with. I'm Laura Dionisio. I'm a coach for high achievers who are done pretending that checking the boxes is enough, and are ready to do something about it. If that's you, let's talk. Book a free clarity call at leadandtact.com/booking.
We'll figure out together what's actually going on and what your next aligned step looks like. And if you're not quite there yet, that's okay too. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. You probably already know exactly who that is. And with that, I'll see you next [00:23:00] time