Ep. 50 : Why You're Still Burned Out: Brandon Handley on Breathwork, Brain Science & Letting Go
What if the thing standing between you and clarity isn't more information, more strategy, or more hustle, but five minutes of breathing? Brandon Handley, creator of Spirit of the Deal, joins Laura to break down exactly why high achievers are addicted to chasing and how breathwork might be the most practical tool you've never taken seriously.
Brandon Handley grew up rejecting everything his full-on hippie mom was into, meditation, mindfulness, all of it. So naturally, it took a Headspace app, a failed Adderall experiment, a spiritual awakening he didn't know who to tell, and one reluctant breathwork session with a 25-years-sober friend named Dave to bring him all the way around.
Now he works with high achievers who are done banging their heads against the wall,helping them stop forcing outcomes and start operating from clarity, alignment, and self-trust.
This conversation is equal parts neuroscience, dry humor, and genuine transformation.
Laura and Brandon dig into why your overloaded prefrontal cortex can only focus on about four things before you completely fall apart (yes, that's the science behind your overwhelm), what breathwork actually does to your heart rate, your cortisol levels, and your perception of possibility, and why meditation isn't failing you, you just haven't trained your mind yet.
Brandon also gets real about the quiet epidemic of male isolation, the friend who asked him "why are you trying so hard?" and the client Tom who went from working on a construction site to running large-scale projects, not by getting more education, but by finally feeling safe within himself.
And yes, Brandon makes AI-generated astrology horoscopes with his signature dry humor, and Laura absolutely puts the link in the show notes. You're welcome.
What You'll Hear
✔️Brandon tried to get an Adderall prescription from wellness clinics who kept suggesting meditation, and he kept telling them "I probably never will, it's just not my path."
✔️Your brain asks your heart "is everything cool?" more than you realize, and breathwork is how you finally let the heart say yes.
✔️Brandon's client Tom went from boots on the ground in construction to running major projects without a single new credential, just inner safety.
✔️"Ask and you shall receive" is not the same as "ask and go chase it down some more", and that distinction will rewire how you work.
"You ask for it, but then you go fucking chase it some more. It's called Ask and You Shall Receive. It's not called Ask and Go Chase It Down." — Brandon Handley
If this episode cracked something open for you, here's where to go next:
📞 Book a free 20-min Clarity Call with Laura: https://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-clarity-call
💛 Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter (free): https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career
Links & Resources
🔗 Brandon Handley's website: https://brandonghandley.com
🔗 Brandon's free nervous system diagnostic (takes about a minute — run it): https://brandonghandley.com/diag2.html
📸 Brandon on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandonghandley_/
🔗 Brandon's horoscope for June: https://brandonghandley.com/sotd_june_2026.html
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You made the move, or maybe you're about to, or maybe you're still in it, showing up, performing, delivering, while something quiet in the background keeps saying, "This is not it." Either way, something has shifted, and you can't un-know it. Here's what nobody tells you. The landing strip is a little rocky once you come down from the high of accomplishment.
There are moments of real excitement, real clarity, like, "Yes, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be." And then night comes, and the anxiety rolls in. The what-ifs, the what am I actually doing? Not because you made the wrong choice, by the way, but because you're standing in the space between who you were and who you're becoming.
Done pretending this is enough, done pushing through, done ignoring the thing that keeps pulling at you. That's exactly where this podcast lives. I'm Laura [00:01:00] Dionisio, founder of Lead Intact, and I've been exactly where you are. The corporate success that stopped feeling like success, the leap that was equal parts terrifying and necessary, the messy, non-linear process of building something that actually fits, and learning to trust yourself through all of it.
This is the pivot point. Real conversations about what's actually happening beneath the surface, and what it takes to build a life that feels as good as it looks. Not just the wins, the attempts too. Because I'm not here to romanticize the journey. I'm here to show you what it's really like. Let's get into it.
Welcome Brandon to the Pivot Point Podcast. Thank you so much for being here and for making me laugh before we even hit record. I appreciate you so much. [00:02:00] So audience, you're in for a treat. Brandon and I know each other through our mentor and you know, friend, coach, however you wanna call the amazingness.
That is Elise Archer. And you know, when I met Brandon in person, he just has like this, this dry humor. But it's at the same time, so intelligent that it just makes the, the things that he's teaching a lot easier to kind of grasp because it's like, oh, okay, it's delivered in a way that's palpable and also with a side dose of laughter.
So thank you again, Brandon, for being here.
For sure, so happy to be here. Absolutely.
So I'm gonna go ahead and read your bio so that my listeners know who you are. So Brandon Handley is the creator and host of Spirit of the Deal, where performance, purpose, and intuition intersect. He works with professionals who were done banging their heads against the wall, ready to stop forcing outcomes and start operating from clarity, alignment, and self-trust. [00:03:00] Blending real world strategy. With inner transformation, Brandon helps high achievers shift how they work, decide, and lead without burning themselves out in the process. Thank you, Brandon, for being here.
Absolutely. I had to listen to the, uh, intro to see who I was showing up as today. Right?
Yeah,
Yeah. It's so, I mean, like when, when people do an intro for you on a podcast, you're like, wait, what? Oh yeah, that's exactly what I do. That's exactly who I am. So let's go with it. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. You know what?
I would love to start, Brandon is actually, normally, I, I riff off the bio, but because I, I'm fortunate enough to know you and have listened to your teachings. Would you walk us through like how you got started specifically? I'm thinking of like that intro you did with Breathwork, because that's the one where I was just like, who is this guy? It like, your background is so interesting and, and your journey of how you got to here.
Geez, I don't even remember what that intro [00:04:00] was. Or spark? Spark me. Like, what, what, what did I say? And I'll see if I can pick up from there. Like,
Sure.
when I first met you, it was through one of like the special classes through Elise and you were doing a breath work class and you were explaining like your journey to breath work. And what I found so interesting is that it was something along the lines of like, you grew up in this space.
I think your parents were in it, and you're like, Ugh, not that
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
and then from that to like how you ended up doing it.
Yeah, so I mean, exactly. So I think, you know, the way we connected it, it was probably like the online course where I came in and gave it for Elise. Yeah. So I came in, Elise and I have known each other for we're calling it a decade, and that'll stay a decade for like the first two years until it's a decade and then the two years after.
It's a decade. And that's way that's easy to remember by. But, um, you know, we've known each other for a long time and you know, got, I've been doing this breath work stuff for a while. She says, Hey, why don't you come in and, and deliver this thing deliver some breath work with, uh, the, this group.
And to your point, it breath work, mindfulness, [00:05:00] meditation, and, and this is all kind of stuff that I, I grew up with, right?
But. Obviously I, I je you, you reject it, right? Like I think a lot of kids do, like whatever your parents are doing. Uh, especially in our generation growing up, you're like, oh, absolutely not. I couldn't possibly plus, plus my mom was like. Full bore hippie, right? Like, I mean, so everybody else and, and, and where I was growing up, everybody else, you know this isn't an insult, it's just the truth.
Everybody else had like, these yucky parents, like it was corporate, you know, everybody upbringing pretty straight and narrow, like, you know, going into these day jobs. And my mom was still like, I don't know, still somewhere smoking weed, right? Like, I mean, and that, that's just, I mean, that's just the straight of it.
Like, I don't know how else to put it. Right? So.
there's a couple ways I got into it, right? So, so one was like I started doing some of this personal development. I've worked with Elise, you know, I, I I turned a corner where like, things have gotta change in my life.
I don't know what they are, but like I'll try like almost anything, right? And one of the things I ended up trying was even just like a little bit of, of, of meditation and, [00:06:00] um. When I did it, I, I used Headspace. And I used Headspace for like, maybe like three weeks, right? But if. If you're new to meditation or even mindfulness and you're working this constant grind kind of job where like you're always on demand, you've confused busyness with productivity and you're like, oh, I gotta respond to emails like within 35 seconds.
Otherwise, people think I'm not here. Oh my God, I've gotta build the spreadsheet charts and I've gotta, I've gotta update the, uh, the project reports I gotta do. You know, you, you feel like. I couldn't, possibly 10, 10 minutes meditating. What are you mad? Right? You want me to sit there, close my eyes and be in silence and all these things need to get done.
That doesn't make any sense. So I did it for like three weeks and I felt good. I felt like, you know, resolved, not like resolved, but like I felt like a, a reduction in, in just general anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, right? Um, and then [00:07:00] I stopped doing it. For a couple weeks, and then I realized I was cantankerous.
I was like, this is sticky, and like, just like kind of crusty and, and crotchety. Um. I was like, man, something. What's wrong? What's changed? Like something has changed. I don't know what it is. 'cause I, I think at this point I might have already quit drinking. Right? So I wasn't drinking, I wasn't hungover. I hadn't done drugs in a long time, so it wasn't drugs or anything else like this.
I was like, what? You know, what has changed? I looked back and I was like, oh, oh my God, I haven't been doing the meditations. I was like, no. And like, you're almost like, you're like, that's. Awful. Right. And and why is it awful? It's awful because a, like my mom told me about, I was like, am I gonna have to call my mom and tell her she was right about this?
Or just like anything else in general. Like, it's the type of thing that's always been in front of you and always available. And you've, like, you've always said, that's not for me. I mean, as a matter of fact, it was, this was like during the period, and it might've been after the period where I was [00:08:00] like, I was like, um.
Literally trying to cure my A DHD. I'm air quoting. For anybody listening I, I was trying to cure my A DHD and I was like, well, pretty sure Adderall does that, right? So I called around like local like wellness centers and psychiatrists, just trying to get somebody to be like, yeah, you've got a DHD, let's help you to focus.
Because I wasn't focusing very well. And, uh, each time I call like these wellness clinics or spaces, they'd be like, give us a little background on your current life. And I'd be like, well, I don't exercise, I don't do this. I don't do that. I don't meditate. And you know what?
I probably never will. It's just not, it's not who I am. It's not my path. And they'd be like, oh, okay. And then I finally get ahold of the guy that like, does the prescription right? I get the Adderall and it was like awful. So,
Mm-hmm.
I ended up doing this meditation stuff and it, I was like, wow, it worked like how like. I didn't need this pill. So then, you know, further on, right?
Go through like some, like, you know, I'll blip it like, you know, little bit of, a [00:09:00] little bit of an awakening experience.
This is like, actually I'd already worked with Elise. I called Elise for, for why? I don't know why I called Elise. 'cause she was doing sales coaching, right? Why would she like, wanna know? Like, I was like a lease. I just had a spiritual awakening and I don't even, I don't even know. Like, she's like, wow, tell me more about that.
I was like, you wanna know more? This is amazing, right? Because I didn't know who to be, I didn't even know who to be telling. So, uh, as the path goes on, I was also connected with a few, so, uh, several people, men men's communities were something that I was a part of. And, and being kinda like your authentic male self.
Like, I mean, men, it's, they don't have a whole lot of community, right? And they don't have a whole lot of community outside of like, maybe churches, et cetera. But even there, there's like a expectation I think in, you know, what's supposed to be happening. And how you're supposed to be behaving. And you know, even in business, it's just like your job.
I actually had a friend of mine, or some of my coworker tell me a while ago, I was like, what's your, what's your community like? It's just my coworkers. Like, that sucks, right? Like I, that's all that's left at a, at a certain point. So I had [00:10:00] a, a couple guys, I'm still in touch with 'em right now. Um. We we would have these regular conversations called Beyond the Storm.
Uh, and the one guy in there named Dave 25 years sober, started doing these breath work sessions. And, uh, another friend of mine, Tom calls up actually a past client. He goes, he goes, Hey Brandon, are you going to Dave's breath work session? I was like, Tom, I was like, I read, I meditate, I listen to all the podcasts.
I do this, I, I, I'm like personally developed like. I couldn't possibly, I'm not even interested. Right. Not even couldn't care. Don't, don't, don't wanna. And he goes, ah, Brandon, I'm only going 'cause he's your friend. I was like, come on man. So I end up going, I get into Dave's like session and Dave like, he's like, all right, you know, just put on a headphones, lay down and I'm gonna walk you through this hour long session.
Goes to the hour long session, mind blown. And I'm just like, all right Dave. I was like, that's, I'm in, right? He's like, I know, right? I was like, yeah, yeah. I, I'm in just like, so how do I go [00:11:00] learn how to do this stuff myself? Like, and he's like, yeah, I don't know. You have to go figure it out yourself. I was like, Dave, that is messed up, man.
Like that he wasn't in a position that he felt like he could teach it yet, right? So he's like, yeah, to go find your own path. So I did, uh, I went, uh, maybe it was probably a year, it might have been two years later. I ended up getting a Soma certification and breath work, uh, coupled it with like, you know, done, uh.
Several other you know, coaching, certifications, life, life coaching, business coaching, all this other stuff, right? Uh, coupled it with, uh, the breath work and, you know, now, now it's kind of coupled it all together as a way to like, you do like bottom up work, right? A lot of times we're like, we're using our head all the time and doing top down, but like we can use our body to, to deliver, uh, a lot of the results or at least put us into a state of being that's receptive.
Especially you know, working with the a lease and, and this group, right? It's like, uh, we wanna be high performers and we don't wanna be burnt out. Right. A lot of times people don't even realize that they're in like [00:12:00] overdrive all the time, uh, because it's a normal state. So, uh, that's the shortest version I could probably give you right now on how I got there.
That was so good, and you said some things that I will for sure go back to during our time together. But what I wanna get started with was like, first I just wanna reflect back what you said is so relatable about the whole, like, well, first of all, my parents did it. I don't wanna do it. I
Right.
Like, no, I, I don't want that. I think my friend of mine called it oppositional defiance. He said, I had that in spades. I'm
Yeah.
thanks friend. I get it. What I love about what you said is like, so relatable. You talked about like, you know, the constant grind, how we see busyness as productivity, I love your honesty about how you're like, i, I don't meditate. Probably never will. And can you talk a little bit more about like, what prompted you to then start the meditation?
It, uh, actually I think it came from this guy, Nitin Mohan. I was in, uh, Toastmasters, uh, and Nitin had [00:13:00] given, uh, Toastmasters on meditation and he had given a nice in, in just like a 32nd, maybe a two minute one, and I felt something in that one. I was like, and when somebody else actually that ended up reaching out to, and uh, when I went through my awakening experience, I was like, Nitin, I need to talk to you.
Right. But it, but it was, it was, it was just a real simple. Maybe 32nd experience given by, you know, somebody that, that, um, I felt something and I was like, let's, let's try it out, right? I'm open to, I, I wanted, I needed to make a change. I needed changes and I didn't know, you know where to turn.
so a lot of my listeners are, are those who are, you know, high performers. Productivity is king. They have maybe heard, honestly, this was me probably like five, not even that long, maybe like four years ago, where it wasn't per se anti meditation, but I just didn't understand the point because something that you, you share with who I used to be, which is like, I don't have 10, 20 minutes to sit [00:14:00] around and Hmm.
You know. So for the listener who's at that point, and I'm sure you have a client, you have a lot of clients and you talk to a lot of people who are there, what would you suggest as like. A taste, a starting point, and also how has it changed your life from where you are now versus the version of you who was busy, probably really productive, probably like high performer, but probably also was not calm, peaceful.
the truth of the matter, so like right, we, we, um, we feel like. It's the doing that we've gotta, we've always gotta be doing this thing to be productive. And the doing looks like, you know, am I striking the keyboard? Am I writing notes? Am I being, am I taking in more content?
All this stuff. And, we don't get the opportunity to a, see what we might already have inside of ourselves. Right? We might already have the answers if we would just shut up for a minute, right? Or turn it all [00:15:00] off. Turn it all down for a minute. And, and so and we've gotta, we gotta, it shows you to learn to trust yourself, right?
So for the person that's like out there doesn't have the time, I want you to think about like. What's a huge project that you're working on right now, that you're standing in front of the screen, that you're Googling for more answers, and you've probably read like 400 answers that might suffice. Maybe you're, you know you've had a conversation with somebody and you're just struggling to find the right thing.
Right? What is the right thing? And I want you to just like. I don't know. Shut it all down for like five minutes. Put on like, I don't know, a, a rain, whatever, like your, your white noise is. Close your eyes and just breathe through it for a minute. Don't even try to, and, and stop thinking, right? Stop thinking.
Let something come to you like you've asked for all this stuff, and I do this in my, I do this in my breath work all the time, right? We, we talk about like pulling in, what are you asking for? You're asking for answers. You're asking for [00:16:00] insight. You're, you know, put your, you're rarely letting it come to you, right?
You, you ask for it, but then you go fucking chase it some more. Pardon my language, right? You're like, I gotta go get it. I gotta chase it down. I gotta be active about it, and you never let it come to you. Just let it come to you. So it's called asking You shall receive. It's not called Ask and go chase it down.
Is it Laura? Right? It's asking You shall receive. So it's like you just, you, you put it out there, close your eyes and like, just focus on your breath. And, and you, you'll see like, like, like many instant answers. And, and it's funny because the answers aren't, aren't like these huge epiphanies. They're like, they're like little bursts of like, oh, and they're simple.
Right? They're like simple because we've been, you've been trying to complicate it, right? Uh, uh. You were, what kind of engineer were you, Laura? Like what kind of engineering,
Systems,
you do?
engineer. In aerospace.
Yeah. So I mean, there's like lots of, there's a lot more than I've ever [00:17:00] done, but like, you know, there's a lot of like pieces, right? Uh, what do they, it's a, it's a, what do they call it? There's like, there's always like a piece of like a critical piece, right? And that's the piece that it, it can be like super small that as soon as like you've remove it or add it.
That's what fixes the whole thing,
Mm-hmm.
You don't need to fix the whole thing. You just need to find the critical infrastructure, critical piece. And a lot of times you find that in like a breath work or meditation because you stop thinking about, uh, you one thing that took away from our conversation was like, you think about the what and the how kind of takes care of itself, right?
So. When you stop thinking about the how it needs to get done, that kind of shows up on its own in those, in those meditations. So again, for that person that's like I got 10 minutes to figure out like this lifesaving thing, uh, the spreadsheet that's gonna save the world. And the news is that spreadsheet's probably not going to save the world.
So you probably put it down for like a minute and, and take that five to 10 minutes. [00:18:00] Relax and give it no thought, and the answers will come because you've been asking for them.
Hmm. I love that. I love also that what's relatable, that what you said about your experience and your journey is that, I think you said something like you were doing it for three weeks. And then you stopped and then for, what was it, what, for the coming days or weeks, you're like, I wonder
What changed?
feel off.
Can you, yeah. Can you talk a little bit more about like the, the differences in like the day-to-day moments of like premeditation when you were meditating and then when you stopped so that the listener 'cause in the beginning it's not as. At least for me, I didn't get the answers right away. So it can be like, why am I doing this?
So I would
Yeah.
for the listeners to really understand what it could be like.
Well, I mean there's a couple pieces there, right? You are, uh, you are setting the conditions when you initially meditate, right? Like you're, you're setting conditions. So there's really nothing there. It's kind of like going out into a [00:19:00] field and like just cleaning it, right? I think in those initial, when you, when you first get started, uh, because a lot of people, what they do is they sit down, they meditate for five minutes, they're like, this doesn't work for me.
And they roll out. They're like, I'll never meditate again. And, and, you know, so one is to make it a continuous practice. And by practice and a continuous, I don't mean like sit every day, you know, 10, 20 minutes, uh, start with Headspace. I think Headspace is excellent. You start with one minute, right? You start with one minute, you work your way up to.
Two to like, it's not like, it's not this huge, these huge jumps. So, and, and then you just start to notice how you feel differently. There's, it is like, I know it sounds weird, but it's like almost like a life texture change. Right. I don't know, like, it's like there's a literal, like life feels different. And, and there's really not a better way to put that.
So life's going to feel different. It's not gonna look different. Everything's gonna look the same, but it's just gonna [00:20:00] have a different feel about it and that different feel. Is generally softer and calmer and not softer and calmer as into, uh, what did I say? Let's get things done here. Like, that was the intent to like, let's get, so it gives you that space to let things get.
Done without forcing them. If that makes sense, right? So that's kind of what you'll experience. But like when you first start, there's nothing to, and here's the part that's tricky, and it is paradoxical, right? Like, yes, these things can happen, but they're all gonna happen at like a different speed for a different person.
Each person's different. Um, and so go into it. Without any expectations, right. There's the, there's the line from like, I think the mystic or Oppa from a thousand million years ago. It is like have a mind that's open to everything and attached to nothing. Right. So you go in with this openness and, and you leave your attachments.
That, and the attachments that you're [00:21:00] leaving behind can be those that you like. I feel like this is what meditation is supposed to be like. Right? Leave it behind. Just go, sit, breathe, listen to Andy, follow the stuff and stop. And, and I don't know how else to say it, but like, when you stop thinking, cool thoughts come.
It, I mean, right. That, that would be like the first, like three weeks. I mean, that's just basically what I recall is like, because if, if you go in with an expectation, um, it's kind of like, um, as an engineer, I don't know. I love, I love playing with like magnets growing up, right? And if you put the poles on the wrong side, like they just keep repelling each other.
So it's like that, you're like, you're like you're, it's like you're pushing a magnet around. It's like, but all you gotta do is like flip it and they come together. Right. It is the exact same thing. So just like, stop chasing the magnet around. I don't know.
I like that analogy with a magnet. Yeah. Because if you have it the wrong way, it doesn't matter how hard you push, you're pushing it harder away. Like further away. Like it's the, you're forcing it even though you wanna get [00:22:00] closer. But to your point, like with meditation, it's kind of like you're like, oh, I don't actually have to force anything.
I just have to attract. And you just kind of go the other way. Love that. We will be stealing that analogy. So for the listener who hasn't started, they've, researched this, they, they've Googled, right? Why meditation, they've seen the study. This was me by the way, Brandon. This was totally me.
Sure. Yeah, yeah,
who couldn't sit down. And I wish I had this advice. Start with one minute. That
yeah. Yeah.
for anyone. Start with one minute and I love, go into it without expectation. Being open to everything and attached to nothing because that was a mistake I had made as well is 'cause I'm like, my thoughts are not peaceful, I can't do it.
Yeah,
the third is to let it come to you.
yeah, yeah. So. I think this is all good for meditation, right?
The ch challenges are this, and this is where breath work comes in, Laura. So I'll jump in with a little bit of breath work. So breath work and breathing. Like they have their specific [00:23:00] practices and like there's modalities, but what really happens is, um, you know, from, from like, uh, neuroscience and I'm probably using some, some neuroscientist is gonna be like, he's wrong and that's okay.
I am okay with that. 'Cause I'm not a neuroscientist. But the idea is when we do these breathing practices, it can be, you can do your square, be either your box breathing, whatever. What really is happening is you're, you're kind of doing like what they call like single pointed meditation right?
In, in a way you're, you're just basically focusing on like one, or, you know, single pointed would obviously be just one thing, and that would just be the breath, right? But when we do it the way that I usually teach it, there's like a, there's a beat, there's like a music, there's like a guided piece in there.
and, and then there's like just following the breath, right? And so what happens is your prefrontal cortex, the crown jewel, right? This amazing thing, the executive functioning thing. Um, I don't know if you've, you know how much you've dug into this, but like, it's basically like [00:24:00] a 40 bit Texas instrument calculator.
Right. It can't like, it, it can write like, hello if you get the numbers right on there. Right. Versus like your, your subconscious, which is like, you know, your subconscious is like a, a mega supercomputer right now.
Your, your prefrontal cortex is, is like the filter of, of kind of what you wanna pull in there, right?
It says like, uh, your Google, you know, think of, think of like your, your brain is like, um, your subconscious is kind of like Google and the algorithm and your prefrontal cortex is the, the little window that you're typing in, right? Now what'll happen is it can only really focus on about, I've, I've heard people say like five, and what I've understood it to be is like around four things, right?
So it can only really focus on about four things. Uh, once you get to like the fifth thing, this is where overwhelm comes in, right? Like, you're like, oh man, I gotta, I gotta get that spreadsheet done. I gotta make this sales call. I gotta do this, I gotta do that. And you're like, oh, you fall apart right after you get to like the fifth thing.
And the same thing happens when you sit down to [00:25:00] meditate. You're like, all right, I need my mind to be quiet. Why is my mind not being quiet? My mind's not being quiet, and I gotta get the groceries. I gotta do the things I got. Oh my, what am I wearing? I'm not even, I don't even know, right? Like, so. Like in your, like in your meditation, you're like, you're not really giving it anything to do.
Like our mind is like, it's like an unruly 2-year-old. Like we have trained it for zilch. We haven't trained it at all. And that's why like anybody who sits down when they first start is like, their mind's like everywhere. Like I can't tell you to the number of people, it's been like, you know, over a thousand now.
Or like people are like, like, yeah, my mind races and it does all the thing and it doesn't get quiet. I wanna sit down to do whatever. Okay. That's everybody. So you're not alone, which is the good news. Right. And the other, the other side of that is that there's a way to get through the meditation, uh, is also it's an advanced practice that's a lot of people don't realize that it's an advanced practice.
So breath work is kind of like training wheels for meditation. So what you do when you're doing the breath [00:26:00] work, and again, any practice, I don't care if it's something I do or somebody else, like focus on the breath. Focus on gratitude, focus on a specific rhythm, and you know, whatever, like, you know, you can have, like, you know I'll do, sometimes I'll just count my fingers.
But what I've done then is yes, I'm doing the breath work. Yes, there are physiological benefits to it, a hundred percent, but I've also given my prefrontal cortex four things to focus on. Boom. Real nice, easy right now. That's great because now it's like, I'm just like, just focus on these things. I'm not thinking, I can't think anymore.
Right? I've gotta hit that memory button, right? I've gotta do whatever. I'm the calculator. Like, I, I can't, if I just keep these four things going, Ooh, it's just nice and easy, right? There's nothing complicated in that. Follow the breath, Brandon. Okay, follow the breath. Here's the count, here's the rhythm, and then, yes, 100%.
Your mind's gonna wander. You're gonna be over here, you're gonna be back. And like, you know, I gotta get like this for dinner. I gotta do this for dinner. [00:27:00] And then he'd be like, what am I doing? And this is key. And Andy talks about is like, you're gonna find yourself over here and you might start beating yourself up and be like, man, I suck at breathing.
I am terrible at this breathing thing. And uh, like so you start beating yourself up. But like another thing, you got no judgment, right? This is just what it is going to happen. It didn't, it didn't just happen to you. It happens to everybody 100%. And the beauty of it is that is part of the process, that is awareness, that is mindfulness.
Recognizing when you're somewhere that you don't want to be, and. Bringing yourself back, right? So you just say, oh, I'm, bring myself back to the breath. Go back to those four things, and then like, this is how you develop it. And it is called a practice, right? Like it's, and your practice is gonna be different for, for everybody involved.
I don't think there was any question involved so much as I jumped in with like, this is how breath work is, you know?
Loved it.
Yeah. Yeah. So the, just as, uh, like those are the pieces that kind of help.
Uh, so I, I also tell people, a lot of people, like when I, when I'm in the rooms, I'm with them.
I'm like, Hey, raise your hand if you feel like you got a DHD and, and 99% of the [00:28:00] people, you know, raise their hand. Alright? And, and the thing is, it's not that a DHD does not exist, it's that you have probably not trained your mind. And your mind is just like. Doing whatever it wants because we've never trained it, right?
the mind is not the master. It's a wonderful tool. And if we let it become the master we get, we get what we get, right?
So hopefully that's all helpful.
That's really helpful. And now I wanna ask more about, actually, I was gonna ask about breath work because you had mentioned, so there was a, a clear difference when you started meditating for three weeks and then stop for a time and you're like, Ooh. Okay, I shouldn't have stopped. And then you mentioned that you had an experience with breath work and that really was like a huge experience.
So what was the difference there? And maybe for those, even, even me, like what exactly is work?
I mean, I, I,
is it?
I'd prob I'd probably just liken breath work to like any type of, it's, it's not the thing where like, oh yeah, you work all the [00:29:00] time. Like I get upset and frustrated and I take a deep breath. That's That's cool. That's a default mode network interrupt. I would not suggest you stop doing it.
If it's working for you, keep using it. But that's not breath work. That is definitely using breathing to alter something. But breath work would be like, uh, a sustained, you know, a couple minute, not even, you know, you can do 32nd practices. I'm thinking of a lions breath, which is like, you know, quick inhales and then this big exhale.
But it's like kind of sus sustained, purposeful breathing so that you can, generally, I, I use it to help people enter into the parasympathetic, right?
So generally we're gonna use breath work to enter into a space that not a lot of us occupy, which is the parasympathetics or rest and digest, and getting into that space purposely because when we get into that space, this is where opportunities become more and more visible.
So we use it. And, and again, uh, box breathing would be like, you know, in for four, hold [00:30:00] for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Right? When we get into these things, just the rhythm that really, again, this, you're taking, you're taking control of the prefrontal cortex for one B. You're also, uh, your heart rate is dictated, can be dictated by your, your breathing patterns, right?
So you start to. You're literally changing your heart rate by the way that you breathe. so if you want to become excited and like elevated, you're gonna, uh, you'll, you'll inhale more than you exhale, right? For a sustained period of time. So, if you wanna calm down though, if you want to get into the parasympathetic, uh, you're gonna exhale longer than you inhale, right?
So again, we're, we're, we're using what's called the bottom up. We're using our body. To influence our mind purposely. Like, and, and like, you're, you're literally changing signals. Uh, the other piece of this whole thing is that your, your heart actually sends more information to the brain than the brain to the heart, right?
So your [00:31:00] brain is just like checking in, right? It's just like, Hey, is everything cool? And heart's like, man, no, we ain't not cool at all. Just like, all right, cool. More cortisols. He needs more cortisols, right? And so, so you're like always jacked up. But when we do these breathing practices, what happens is like, okay, we changed our heart rate and we've lowered it.
Uh, we're lowering our blood pressure, we're taking in, uh, we're, we're breathing in through our nose which, you know, helps us to take in more nitric oxide, opening up our blood vessels, putting less stress on the heart, and then our heart's like actually got like a 40,000 cell brain, right? And the brain and the heart's like.
Dude, we're, we're good. We're good. Thank you. And then the brain checks in on the heart and the heart's like, we good. So now you're this parasympathetic and when you're in that state your body produces cortisols or DHEA.
And I'm sure it produces other things. But when you're in this uh, relaxed state. It can only produce one at a time, right? So I can produce cortisols [00:32:00] or DHEA, and if I'm stressed out, all I can do is produce cortisols. When I relax, the brain's able to make this DHEA, which is like, again, it's reparative, it's regenerative cells and, and, uh, hormones that are coming out versus the cortisols.
Now that you're in a relaxed state and now that you are out of fight or flight a couple things are gonna happen. Like, your shoulders are gonna drop, you're gonna relax, you might melt, right?
Uh, but the other thing that's gonna happen is you're, you're leaving this fight or flight, which is like a constrictive and restrictive. You're in a constrictive thought pattern when you're in scarcity mode.
Same thing as in survival mode. You're like, everything kind of, you know tightens up. And your body even feels tight. You're like, you're walking around like, you know, an old Michael Jackson thriller thing like this, right? Because you're all stuck there. But the thing is, is like, okay, and it literally changes your perception.
Not just like mentally, but like visually, right? So when you are in rest and digest, which is what breath work can help you to do, [00:33:00] you are literally able to see more. Right. You're able to allow, when we talked about like, um, you know, allowing things to come, you're able to relax and just let them show up, right?
You can stop thinking. You will stop thinking.
One of my favorite parts, and again, this isn't to have anybody chase it, but in the breathwork sessions, like one of my favorite parts is like the way I do it, there's some retentions too in there that, that help you to, you are actually stressing your system out purposely so that you build resilience, right?
So that you're, so again, this is another piece. It's like, okay, it's a practice. If I practice being stressed, my body's gonna be more resilient in those modes, right? Um. So, uh, you're just gonna be able to see more, have more available to you, uh, and you're doing it for yourself, on purpose.
When we get into these retentions, it's like almost, it's out of body. It's out of body. There is no thought. And you are in, consciousness. I don't have to, [00:34:00] you know how else to put that way. I don't, I don't know how far out we get in this podcast, but you're in a space and that space that you're in feels like home.
All right? And when you're in that space, you have no choice but to just allow, like, it's not even allowing for you to be yourself. You are finally, you feel yourself. And again, I know that's a nebulous term, but like. Something you just simply have to experience for yourself.
Hmm. I love that so much. 'cause I, I keep thinking about the, what did you even say in your bio professionals who were done banging their heads against the wall? What comes to mind immediately as you said that, as you feel yourself, is that I talked. A lot on this podcast about identity and tying your identity to work. And it really sounds like with breath work, it's a, it's a way to separate so that you can actually feel who you are outside work. And I would love to hear Brandon, whether it's your own experience or, or one of your clients, what was the impact once they started working with you?
Yeah, I mean one, one client that I would talk [00:35:00] about would be, um. Again, this guy Tom, he, he, uh, you know, he was working on the ground, literally like in a construction unit. Ended up doing some of this work. We worked together on mindset, worked through breath work, work, worked through, like, just kind of releasing this, uh, identity of who he thought that he might be, right.
And giving him some tools. And next thing you know, he's like, he's, he's projects. He goes from being the guy on the ground to being invited in and, and opportunities just kept coming to him and, and, uh, running, running these large ass projects without, you know, again, changing who he was. Didn't go get more education.
It didn't go. It just like he was able to bring his levels down into, a place of safety for himself. He felt safe with himself. So he felt safe to step into other areas?
Mm-hmm. Was he looking for that when he started working with you, or he was just looking to calm down? No. Okay. Brandon's shaking his head.
No, I don't think he was really, it is, it's funny because [00:36:00] he wasn't really looking for anything. I was like, look, man, I, I was like, I was like, I've heard you, you know, talk and we've had some conversations. I was like, pretty sure. I can help you and, you know, just move forward in, in, into any space. And I was like, I'm gonna promise you right now, I'm not coming in here.
I don't know, I don't have all the answers, but they're probably within you and we, we can work it through. Like, I don't, I don't ever try and tell anybody, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know all the things. I've got some tools, I've got some ways to help you through and, you know, I can reflect some things, right?
Like, you're great at that. Like reflecting like what you just heard and, and some people's, you know, . What they're saying and show themselves to themselves so they can see it, and then help offer a way forward, not even, and I hate to do that too, like not even a way forward, like away with intention.
Right. Where do you want to go? Like, I, I, I, I'll never even tell people like, it's gonna be better or greater. Like, don't tell me. And, and, and again, this is not against anybody out there like. I don't think that I've ever been trying to be the best version of [00:37:00] myself, right? I just want to be a version of myself that I'm like, happy with.
And even that sounds like I'm just, there's this peace, right? Like,
who is it you're trying to be? Let me help you get there.
Hmm. I love when you said show themselves themselves. that's so powerful. And what I love about the, the story of the client you shared is that your client wasn't necessarily looking for more, and that's what they ended up finding within themselves once they felt safe within themselves. So I think that's such a, a powerful story.
So thank you for sharing that.
So Brandon, people are like he's amazing. I wanna learn more from Brandon and connect I wanna do this breath work thing. How can they get a hold of you? How can they get more into your stuff? Join your community, all that jazz.
So I would just go to brandon g Handley.com. Uh, you can connect with me there. My email's on there. Connect me on Instagram is Brandon g Handley, because Brandon g Handley is also my [00:38:00] personal one, and I couldn't use it in both places. And then there's like a, there's a fun one and I'll give you the link.
Laura uh, you've, you've, you know, gotten a couple of my emails, which I think you seem to enjoy. so there's a couple things I do there. If you join the mailer, uh, I've got a, um, I've got a diagnostic test that you can take just to see kind of where you are and like, you know, what's revving your engine.
So you can take that and then you'll get a couple follow up sessions that kind of would like allude to the type of work that we would be doing for you specifically, right? So if you're running hot, like here's how we, here's how we cool you off, right? Type of thing. Um. That's like a free of charge thing that like you could use that never talk to me again and hopefully benefit from it.
Uh, outside of that and this is like for personal joy and bliss only, uh, Laura got, Laura got the, um, the horoscope, the monthly horoscope. Uh, this is something that I've been doing because, um. Uh, I'm a fan of the Astrology Zone. I don't know if anybody else, if you're familiar with it, and this is a woman named Susan Miller.
She creates an amazing [00:39:00] monthly horoscope, right? They are fantastic. The thing with Susan is a, she's like, I don't know. She says she's sick and she's got cancer, so we'll, we'll let her roll, roll with it. Plus her heart. Hope she always heals up, but she is always late with her horoscope. Right? Like I, 'cause it is like, look.
It was like on, on on February 1st, Laura. I'm like, where's my, where's my horoscope? Right? The stars, the star. The stars are doing what?
This is why, like, you know, I got the app. So I started like, I'm like, you know what, like, honestly, like AI has all of the astrology information. Like, it's not like hidden in the stars. I just can't read them. Right. So and then I take it and I put it together with, you know, just some kind of just the way I like to be.
Right. I don't know how else to put it, Rick. I don't know. I don't how what you, you, you gotta, yeah. You gotta laugh out of it.
Yeah.
I'll put it in the show notes if it's not there already. Like, Brandon, if I could, if I could get that listeners, because I'm into astrology kind of if it gets [00:40:00] too woo, you've lost me. But Brandon's has like the, his signature sense of humor. It has something like if you're looking for something fun and light go by Crystal, like,
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
that made me,
Would you say it was like a caffeine meter? Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. And I was
Yeah.
thank you, Brandon, for justifying my increased caffeine intake this month. Like I, I appreciate it.
For sure. Yeah,
last question that I ask all my my guests, and that is, if you are an item, speaking of caffeine, if you're an item in a coffee shop, anything could be a drink, could be a food item, could be a non-food item, anything at all.
What would you be and why?
I'd be the frother 'cause I start shit up.
Okay. On brand. On
Right? Sure. Yeah.
I love it,
I mean, I got another, yeah, like is listen, look. I mean, that's other thing.
Look, one other thing I'll throw out there too is like, if you ever do like meditations and breath work with me, it's not, I'm not coming at you like, namaste. I want you to leave feeling energized. Like I want you to, I don't want you to [00:41:00] leave like, like.
Like, and there's nothing wrong. Like I don't want you to leave bow out, not mistake. I want you to leave, walk out. I want you to kick the door open and like run out there and go do your thing. Like, I mean, you can relax later. But I want you to like, feel like you've been, you've been charged like, you know, like, uh, for your crystal people out there, I want you to feel like you've just got sick.
You are the crystal, and you've been set up on the counter to get your moonlight charged. That's how you should feel after you do breath work with me.
Yeah. And, and listener. This is why I love Brandon is because again, I, I am like, I'm, I straddle the practicality and the woo. And so I appreciate then because it's like I can, I can relate. can relate. 'cause if it gets too out there. I am gone.
That's right. That's right.
Laura, thank you so much for having me on today.
Thank you. This has been so good.
Big thanks to Brandon Handley for being so open and so real in this conversation. This is exactly the kind of story I created [00:42:00] this podcast for, because when you hear someone else say the thing you've been feeling but couldn't quite name, something shifts. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
You probably already know exactly who that is. And if you're sitting with something after this conversation, that feeling that good enough stopped being good enough a long time ago, I want to talk. Book a free 20-minute clarity call at leadintact.com/booking. That's where we figure out together what's actually going on and what your next step looks like.
All of Brandon's details are in the show notes. Go show them some love. And with that, I'll see you next time