Ep. 48 : The Job Exit Strategist: How Tania P. Brown Turned Her Worst Review Into Her Life's Work
You can plan the finances. You can time the exit. What nobody tells you is that the hardest part has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with who you are without the job.
Tania P. Brown is a Certified Financial Planner and Job Exit Strategist whose entire career was born from a "done moment" she didn't see coming. After four years at a consulting firm, a performance review accused her of disloyalty — not for poor performance, not for missing a deadline, but for refusing to cancel her home closing to attend a meeting. That was it. That was the tipping point.
But here's what makes Tania different: she didn't just quit.
She spent 18 months turning her job into her exit partner, squeezing every benefit, building her LinkedIn, taking on strategic projects, getting therapy on the company's dime, and locking in 1099 contracts before she ever walked out the door. She calls it the four seasons of entrepreneurship, and she mapped every single one before she lived them.
What nobody warned her about and what she now warns every client about was the identity earthquake waiting on the other side. The detox season. The fog. The unexpected grief of not knowing who you are without a title.
Tania breaks down her D.O.N.E. acronym (Drama and toxicity, Overworked and underpaid, Nonstop crisis and gaslighting, Exhaustion and exploitation), walks through the stages of "doneness" from frozen to frenzy to doubt, and makes the case that a bridge job isn't a failure. It's a strategy. This conversation is specific, honest, and deeply practical in the best possible way.
What You'll Hear:
✔️Tania got a performance review that penalized her for closing on her own home — and that was her done moment after four years
✔️The D.O.N.E. acronym breaks down exactly why you feel the way you feel at work and why it's not your fault
✔️Why doubt does not mean delay and why certainty is never coming, so stop waiting for it
✔️How Tania found her niche not in a strategy session, but by pulling strangers aside at conferences and writing exit plans on the back of agendas
"My job is to help you quit yours. But my second job is to make sure you never have to go back to yours."
— Tania P. Brown
Ready to find out if your bank account agrees with your gut? Take Tania's free Quit Job Readiness Scorecard™ and get a clear action plan in 3 minutes:
👉 [Get Your Free "Quit Job" Scorecard](https://www.taniapbrown.com/assessment2)
Connect with Tania on LinkedIn:
👉 linkedin.com/in/taniapellewbrown
Ready to get clarity on YOUR next move?
📞 Book a free 20-min clarity call with Laura: https://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-clarity-call
💛 Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter (free resource): https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career
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[00:00:00] You made the move, or maybe you're about to, or maybe you're still in it. Showing up, performing, delivering, while something quiet in the background keeps saying, "This is not it. " Either way, something has shifted and you can't unknow it. Here's what nobody tells you. The landing strip is a little rocky once you come down from the high of accomplishment.
There are moments of real excitement, real clarity, like, "Yes, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. " And then night comes, and the anxiety rolls in, the what ifs, the what am I actually doing? Not because you made the wrong choice, by the way, but because you're standing in the space between who you were and who you're becoming.
Don pretending this is enough, done pushing through, done ignoring the thing that keeps pulling at you. That's exactly where this podcast lives. I'm Laura [00:01:00] Dionicio, founder of Lead Intech, and I've been exactly where you are. The corporate success that stopped feeling like success, the leap that was equal parts terrifying and necessary, the messy, non-linear process of building something that actually fits and learning to trust yourself through all of it.
This is the pivot point. Real conversations about what's actually happening beneath the surface, and what it takes to build a life that feels as good as it looks. Not just the wins, the attempts to. Because I'm not here to romanticize the journey. I'm here to show you what it's really like. Let's get into it.
Welcome Tania to the Pivot Point Podcast. I'm so honored to have you here and like I was just telling you offline, you're the first guest that I invited and I didn't even tell you [00:02:00] what the name of the podcast was or like what the purpose is or even like some example episodes. So for real, like thank you for being here and agreeing to be my guest today.
My pleasure. It was such a pleasure talking with you. I was like, I don't care. I just wanna talk to her again.
I love it.
So before we get started, I'm gonna go ahead and read your bio, your awesome bio so that the guests and the listeners get to know who you are. All right. I. Meet Tania P. Brown, a certified financial planner with a niche as a job exit strategist whose job is literally to help you quit. Yours. A former corporate executive with over 20 years of experience coaching 2000 plus individuals at Fortune 500 companies. Tonya's own transition was sparked by a. Performance review from Hell that forced her to choose between her sanity and her paycheck. We are definitely gonna talk about that. She quickly realized that a major career pivot is more than a math problem. It's a complex identity shift. Moving [00:03:00] from 30 years of known corporate structure to the unknown of entrepreneurship. she helps women, 40 plus build financial transition strategies so they don't have to trade their financial security for. For their dreams. Tania's expertise has been trusted and featured in publications such as Forbes Business Insider, USA Today and Bloomberg. Beyond her role, she's a devoted advocate for teens in foster care and loves finding the world's best chocolate.
Thank you Tania for being
you.
I, I love that bio. I try not to read my guest bio because I also want the genuine, like my genuine reaction to reading it.
And let's start with the performance review from hell. Give us the background, the context of what led up to that and what happened there.
When I talk to clients, I always hear they have this done moment, and to me that is that emotional tipping point where the pain of staying [00:04:00] exceeds the fear of change. That performance review was my tipping point, but I feel like it's death by a thousand corporate cuts, so. It's kind of started in the industry by this point.
Um, was doing consulting and for anyone who's in consulting, you know what I mean when I say you basically are giving your blood to this, you're working nonstop. So that was the first trickle in the middle of all this. We had a major consulting meeting. And I could not make it because I was closing on my home.
So send an email saying, Hey, my team is ready. They can do this. I cannot go. It was like, great, we understand. Got my performance review months later and basically got my rear end handed to me because of that email, because apparently I failed the cosmic loyalty test. I literally, not even joking, I was expected to cancel my closing to attend the meeting, and because I didn't, it showed I was disloyal.
That was my done moment.
Yeah,
Wow. And how long were you working there
I'm trying to think about
were [00:05:00] you in that project?
four years. I was working for that company. Yeah, I was working for that company for four years when that happened. I was so hurt, like I was, again, it, I hear the word done so much. I made it into an acronym and I hit every level of that acronym. I was angry, I was upset, and I walked in thinking, oh, this is gonna be an okay performance review.
I walked out thinking, I'm, I'm leaving there. There's no coming back from that.
So tell me, you had this review that you didn't expect, you walked out, and then what happened?
I guess it was more of what happened in the review. So in the review, as I'm realizing this is for real, at first I thought, I'm being punked. This is for real. I have a very, I have a myriad of reactions. The first reaction is I have the trifecta of being ex-military from a ghetto in Brooklyn and Caribbean.
That is a trifecta for disaster. I thought, okay, I am not gonna unleash Tania from the twenties. So option two was, when do I leave? Option three was [00:06:00] how, but in the middle of that, I thought of the privilege I had because this was a choice . And that, and that was in the back of my mind. I had the choice kind of led me to where I am now.
So the first thing I did, you know, I, I was formerly the chair of my small business committee, so I saw the disaster. So I knew to financially plan, did all the financial planning to do it. I thought I would quit right off into entrepreneurial sunset. It was more like I told someone, like a donkey on roller skates all over the.
Mm.
Quitting of a job is one thing. The mindset shift from employee to entrepreneur that blindsided me. No one talked about that and I was like, did I just not get the secret memo that went out? That was, that part was rough.
Okay, I would love to to hear more about that. So there are a few things. One, you mentioned you have a done acronym ' cause you've heard it so much. So I would love to hear about that. And then you talked about the financial planning aspect, which you kind of like nonchalantly talked about, [00:07:00] but I think I've talked to a lot of clients and I'm sure you have, they are not sure what that is.
So I'd love to walk through that. And then thirdly, that mindset shift. So, so I don't know which of the
Okay,
is, is calling out to
so.
like the most important to talk about
The done acronym because I wanted people first to know it's not them and they're not crazy. And again, I hear the word done so much. So the D is drama and toxicity. So that is a combination of basically microaggressions, office politics, and the feeling you're walking on eggshells. The O is overwork underpaid.
Your work is going up, but your pay hasn't caught up to that yet. The N is a combo. It is nonstop crisis and gaslighting and they go hand in hand. You are putting out fires for other people's poor planning, and when you mention it, you're scolded and the E is exhaustion in exploitation. You're giving everything to yourself.
There's nothing left. I would say one of the top [00:08:00] reasons women come to me is hospitalization. They're hospitalized because they are so stressed out.
Wow.
And I just wanted to help people articulate what they may be feeling and not saying, and to say this is absolutely normal. Um, so don't think it's not.
And I forgot, what was the second one? There's three.
Oh, the, the financial piece. You just, 'cause love how you said, well I knew that the, the something like the crisis was coming and so I knew to plan, but I don't think people are Tania. So, which is why I have you on as a guest. So talk us through do you mean by that? How did you prepare?
So I planning around the real. Entrepreneurship, not the fantasy that you're gonna quit your job today and in a month you're gonna make $10,000.
So working with so many new business owners and having so many conversations, the first thing I knew was that this was gonna be a one to a two year process. So the first thing was I [00:09:00] was planning around the reality of being a business owner. So I knew I had to have a long-term plan. I think that by itself helped set the tone.
Also, there were a few things I noticed. To the point now where I actually call them the four Seasons of entrepreneurship. I knew the first few months I was gonna be in detox because I saw this from people. So I knew not to expect that I was gonna bring in any income for the first three months. So I planned the detox season.
I planned for some extra things I was gonna do. So glad I did that. And then I started to notice that people were spending insane amounts of money on stuff because there was no strategy. I knew coming into this wanting to do one-to-one coaching or one-to-one services. I didn't need a whole lot like I.
My first client, I didn't even have a website. I didn't have a website. I was using like Google Standard. So I kept things simple because I knew enough to build in the future. Um, don't get me wrong, I still [00:10:00] made ton of spending mistakes, but, but I avoided some of the worst of them. Um, so I knew to plan, have a plan B in place.
So I already had some contracts in place thinking okay. The clients don't come in, well, how am I still gonna make this work? So having that plan A and plan B in terms of the planning, the first thing I knew was take a look at my spending and immediately think, what can I realistically live off of to come up with that lifestyle number?
Here's what I did that I feel like a lot of people don't do. I looked at my 12 month average. I live in Georgia. My electric bill in July is not the same as it is in December. If I plan around like April's numbers, I'm under planning. So I really thought of what is my average.
Deprivation doesn't work for diets nor does it work for money I knew or for budget. So I knew what are those many luxuries I can even afford that will keep me sane? And I kept those. And I do not believe in going bare bones. It's [00:11:00] just not sustainable. It's emotionally hard enough being an entrepreneur.
So once I knew what the lifestyle number is, well, everything else became easy. I knew what multiple of that I needed to save. Again, I had a pretty big head start, so I didn't, I already started seeing clients in advance. This was an industry I came out of for several years. So for me, I already estimated what my runway is, and the rule of thumb I give is.
You. I say this with caution. You may be able to get away with six months if you already have clients, if you already have been in business for a while, if you are already established, because you just need enough so you're not going through your savings as quickly. If you don't have anything, we're talking a year or more.
The first year is a learning curve. This could be maybe a part-time job, a bridge job. And I just call that a job to keep you to keep your savings intact until you can quit. This is not a career, so [00:12:00] I knew to put these things in place for me. It was contracts. I was able to get 10 99 contracts that could keep the lights on until I was able to build a coaching business because I knew it took.
A while to do it. So it started working on those. Then as I transitioned, I started to go on a scavenger hunt. I was like, everything at my job was now my exit partner. Though I took on a couple of projects, not because I cared about my job, because I knew this was a skill I needed to build. I started building up my LinkedIn before I left, which I'm so glad I did.
I took every doctor's appointment, every dentist I squeezed every drop of benefit. I can humanly squeeze out of that job before I left and I got therapy. 'cause I was like, the job was so toxic. I was like, I'm gonna get healed on their dime. I'm not gonna wait till I leave and pay $300 an hour. I'm gonna get healed while I'm getting paid and while I can get it done for free.
So I [00:13:00] started to map all of this out, which it took me about 18 months. So I, I was. Thinking through all of this, then going through my business numbers, I really started thinking for that first year, what was it gonna take for me to go solo? And again, I kept my expenses really low the first year. And I will say my error was, I spent a lot of money on really expensive CRMs, customer service management systems.
I wish I would not had done that because I didn't know how I naturally would want. To work with clients. I didn't know my natural style for how I would wanna process information. And to me, if you know that first, then you can match the CRM to that. If you don't know that, you may choose something that may just not align with how you do stuff may not work for you and you spend all this money for nothing.
So that was something I wish I could take that and do something different. And even thinking of savings, like saving for living expenses is great, but we spend [00:14:00] money on more things than living. So I tell people, tack on the unexpected, you're, as my daughters say, life is gonna be life thing. Your tires are gonna go out.
You're going to need repair. So I always say add in a buffer. Ideally, maybe add an buffer for your deductibles. So if you have a medical deductible, if you have homeowners, if you have auto. So that way if those things happen, you're not tapping into your savings that's supposed to be paying the rent. Also, if your business isn't making money, you've gotta have money set aside to cover those first year business costs.
So thinking through ahead of what do I need to spend money on for that first year? If no clients come in, how will I be okay if a few clients come in? How I'll be okay. And of course, the best case scenario, you're good.
So that was kind of how I just started to formulate my plan and then, um, had that and the mindset hit me like a tsunami.
If I'm honest, my [00:15:00] sense of identity was tied to where I worked. It was tied to my income much more than I thought. Also, if you are making halfway decent money, the fact that I couldn't spend with ease. I was good at managing money, but if you're making quite a bit of money, it's not too hard to manage. But when you have to now think of the money that's coming in, it sucked.
Just being honest, having to think through expenses. I didn't have to think through before. I don't think people realize how much of their job their lives are oriented around. Your job dictates where you live. The friends you have likely you met your spouse there. The time you have with kids is based on your vacation days, the friends you make.
I couldn't have conversations about business with my friends 'cause I didn't understand I was going to the store when no one else was going to it. So it was all of these shifts that I had to make. And even my shift in perfection, if you're on a [00:16:00] job, it's, you do things right. If you're in a business some days, b plus work is good enough.
Um, so some of the stuff that got me to that VP position was actually hurting me.
I'm really curious, you gave such good insight on all the things that you did to prepare and it sounded like from the performance review from hell, as you mentioned to when you actually decided I'm done, took about 18 months when you were planning and thinking through, okay, I'm thinking about the listener who's like your done acronym.
I am all of the, the
Mm.
I am the D, the O, the N, and the E, so how. did you manage to to still stay grounded and focused and plan and be patient when you felt done?
the listeners can, can like kind of start to think about if they're just like, I just wanna quit tomorrow.
let's take some deep breaths because. I, so oftentimes what I say is, yes, my job is to help you quit yours. But [00:17:00] secondarily, my second job is to make sure you never have to go back to yours. And if you quit now without a plan, here's what it becomes a cautionary tale and you end up getting a job you hate.
That scared me more. I, I was like, when I quit, I want this to be done. I don't wanna have to go back. So that was one. And I didn't wanna hop from one miserable situation to another, and I saw other people doing this. So I wanted to think this through. I also, when I speak to my clients, I also happen to go into community with other people because that really helped meeting with other business owners and I said, please stop watching YouTube videos about these people making $8 million in five minutes.
Go talk to business owners so you can share in their struggles because you are there. So finding that community is what kept me grounded in that time. Also, it was a reframing my job became my seed money, my benefits became my [00:18:00] bridge. So everything I looked at in my job became my exit partner, and that really shifted how I saw those 18 months.
Okay. I love that. And I'm curious too, 'cause I know when we talked. Not today, but
Mm-hmm.
you had mentioned that there's almost like different levels of doneness and that when we spoke, you had mentioned that the way I was describing how I felt, I was like done, done, like gone with the wind, done. So I'm curious, could you walk us through like based on what you've seen and like your clients, what are kind of like the, the levels or maybe stages or whatever you call them in terms of like how done someone actually is and what would you suggest for each
Okay.
or stage or whatever you call
So cool.
Okay, so in the stages of doneness here's what I find that again, everyone is different. For the average person, there's this it's, it's almost this freezing. And when I mean freezing, it's like. It's almost like the scales fall from their eyes and all of a sudden they're able to see their [00:19:00] job and everything from a different perspective.
You start to see the gaslighting that every time you ask for more money, you're not a team player. Work gets dumped on you with no promise of a promotion. All of a sudden, maybe, you know, I, I am in a job. I really shook care. No, you're being in a job to be paid, so all of a sudden you start to see that you know, you really are being treated poorly.
There's that phrase of, I think dealing with the emotional weight sometimes guilt and shame, which I hope people don't have. Of why did I let this happen? That was, that, that was me. There's a little bit of that and
That was me,
yeah, so, so I find people find themselves in this mode of just being stuck. Here's what I would say.
This is the moments where people do stuff they regret. So if you are in that stage, sit with your feelings. Just, just sit with them for a second. Process them, because if you don't process them, you're gonna make decisions through that lens. And what seems [00:20:00] rational to you is not gonna make sense. So take some time.
Process the feelings. Remove the shame. It is not your fault. You ought to be treated like a human being. You ought to be paid for the jobs. That you do, you are. If you can't, you know, and sometimes I'm like, well, maybe I should be tougher and be able to walk on eggshells. No, no human being should have to do that.
So I would say this is. Take some time to process even some time off, but give yourself some time. But in that season process, please don't do anything like just, just, just put the wallet down, put let, let go of the 50 TAs, because this is when you spend without thinking. The next part, I find, ironically, becomes a frenzy where now we go from freeze to everything and I'm like.
This is when the exit strategy comes in place. So I always tell people, please, this is when you should see me. Because when I help you build the financial exit plan, it also becomes a blueprint. So you're able to make these [00:21:00] decisions with strategy as opposed with emotions. So start with the phrase stuff.
Like just, just go hear about different stuff and just commit to, you're just taking in information. But it's, but sometimes you know exactly what you want. Like there's that person that's like, I knew I always wanted to be an entrepreneur. This was the wake up call I needed. And for that person, if you're moving forward with strategy and intention, then that's different.
So if you are, if you are coming out of that frenzy, just have a strategy. Just do not haphazardly make decisions. This is definitely the time to get in community with other people, start to process, start to hear other people. I find there's also been this period of just doubt and to say. Doubt does not mean delay.
Doubt does not mean you don't move. You move through doubt because at this point I would hear people say, well, I wanna be certain. I'm like, there is no certainty. I wanna be sure. You're just not gonna be sure like it's not gonna happen. It's just what level of uncertainty you're comfortable [00:22:00] moving forward with.
It's not if you're gonna have it, it's what level you're comfortable moving forward in it and to understand you are unraveling 30 plus years. Corporate infrastructure in your life. Of course, there's gonna be doubt to you doing something that you've never done before.
This is the part where I will also say silence is golden.
I do not believe everybody should be party to your dreams and people have a way of masking critique. And it's really insecurity and it's something that they have never accomplished. So if you're very, I find you're very vulnerable at this stage, talk to other business owners. Talk to other people who understand us, but I find we talk, we find ourselves seeking the people who are just gonna tear us down.
And, and I don't think they mean to, they, they mean well, but understand it's their perspective, like. So my dad's side is Caribbean. I'm first gen. I still, I'm still scared of my aunties and some of them still don't know, [00:23:00] and
I'm scared of my.
I
I'm scared of my Caribbean aunties, though military and all. I chose just not to disclose that part to them and they just wouldn't understand. They came to this country, so I had the opportunity to quit something that they.
Mm-hmm.
So discretion, discernment on who you speak to, I, I would say is, is paramount in this stage.
And just if you can find that battle buddy, that person that, that you can talk through. Having someone that can get through the emotional to help you with the logic at that stage. But I will say sometimes you just gotta go, like sometimes if it's that bad, like especially like there was one young woman I spoke to and.
She already had no filter and her filter was about to come this undone. And I was like, okay, let's look for a bridge job. And to me, when I say the word bridge job, this is not a career. This is a means to an end. This is a job that's gonna help you either [00:24:00] have the time, help you, acquire the skills, have some funds so you can eventually quit because she, she wasn't gonna make it.
Like, I was just like, I was like, you're not gonna survive.
me.
Yeah. But she didn't have the funds to quit, so I was like, bridge. So she couldn't, she couldn't financially quit, but I was like, we don't want you fired in burning bridges. And it was so toxic. We just came up with a plan. So her strategy was we figured out a bridge job for her and it was perfect.
She wanted to be an event planner. We found a job in event planning. So not, so she actually got to learn about the business and when she left that job, I think, if I'm not mistaken, it became one of her first clients. So, yeah.
There you
Yeah.
Okay.
I just wanna reflect back certain things that I said that you said, just because it was, the, the notes I have just 'cause it's so good. So first of all, I, I love the, the stages you talked about, like
Yeah.
I have felt that, and I'm sure the listener has felt that, where you're just stuck [00:25:00] and that loop of, I shouldn't feel this way, I should be grateful.
Or how did I let myself get there?
Yep.
or in my case, all of that plus like I was pissed off, ah, I'm underpaid and blah, blah,
Yeah.
but then not doing anything. And then the frenzy, which I've also been in, where it's kind of like a moment of like, oh, I don't wanna be here anymore. And then that panic feeling, I've experienced that. Luckily I did not quit my job at that time. I,
Hmm.
I did, I, I like, called people in a panic, but luckily it wasn't my boss. So, what I love is that, 'cause when I think frenzy, I think like you're ready to move. Like the energy is there. But what I love is that you wanna make decisions with strategy, not
Yeah.
so it's kind of like. Directing that energy to something that's gonna actually help you. And I also love when you said doubt does not mean delay.
And that it's not like you're gonna completely get rid of doubt. It's more like how much can you handle? I think that's super important to know you're never gonna be completely certain if something's gonna work out. [00:26:00] So listeners, if you're feeling doubt, that's okay. That doesn't, that's not a sign to
Exactly.
I love that.
And then silence is golden. True. Especially with the family. 'cause they just, you know, like I, I think they have your best interests at
Yeah.
you to be safe and, yeah. 'cause like, I also am an
Yeah.
like, didn't tell my parents either they, they would've been like, you went to college, got two degrees, what are you
Yeah, exactly. They're like, my family would've been like, you quit what? To do what? So I was like, they, they just, they wouldn't understand. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. But what I do like is that you're not suggesting don't talk to anyone at all. I love the phrase battle
Yeah.
I like that. So it's more be discerning on who you, who you talk to and someone who can actually understand where you're coming from.
And I love the idea of a bridge job. So if a listener's like, I am done, done. then and and I don't have 18 months to, or a year or two or what, whatever it is to like sit down [00:27:00] and strategize. I love the idea of a bridge job, I love that you emphasize, it's not necessarily a career, but it is gonna get you to what you want your career to be like. That example of your client.
Yeah. It, it doesn't, I, I was telling so much, it doesn't have to be a leap. It can be strategic hops, it could be a bridge job to a part-time job to finally quitting, which I have seen multitudes of people do. So there's a thousand ways between staying in a job you hate and just leaping and you can do whatever in between, makes the most financial and emotional sense too.
Mm-hmm. I love that. I wanna switch a little bit. To. Okay.
'cause when I first saw you, the networking, like your, your title job exit strategist, I was immediately So walk us through the journey of how did you get to job exit strategist? 'cause I never heard of it, but as soon as I heard it, I'm like, that is needed.
I wish I had you two months before, you know.
the irony does not escape me how I guess. It was so [00:28:00] I was working as a a financial coach and I would go into Fortune 500 companies with my team and we would develop programs. I started to notice a trend. Once they realized everything was anonymous, the number one thing was, get me the beep, beep, beep out of here I am done.
Like, so that's when it started that I noticed a lot of people don't wanna be here. And coincidentally, a lot of them were also consultants. So, um, I just, so I started to notice that and I started to notice one, I was saying the same thing to people over and over and over again. Um, so. When I got out, actually that was, it was more of, I wanted to help people through transitions.
It actually wasn't the job exit, but that's what I found the transition that most people wanted. So it was like, well, how did you do this? How did you, how were you able to financially afford this? Can I afford this? And everyone is, yes. What afford is gonna look like is gonna be different. So that's kind of how it [00:29:00] slowly got started.
Also, I had a background in benefits. I had a background in taxes, so that really helped. So I understood the benefits side of it. Also, it was a weird combination of stuff. Um, at my church, they had this, it was just this beautiful program to help people figure out. What was their purpose and then how do they practically walk in this purpose?
And I had worked with my church to help people do that for years. So all of that came together, the, and that was more of the holding space so people can kind of reconnect with that part of them. They kind of let, let go to just survive on the job. So all of that began to come together. And the job exit strategist, the name was an accident.
I, so I was trying to figure out what, how to say what I did. So I knew I helped out with job strategies or exit strategies. So I, I had some long name I could not, like on podcasts. I could not get the four names. I think I was like a job exit financial [00:30:00] coach or something. And then finally I was, someone had said, you really are more of a strategist.
And I decided the three words came together and that was it.
It is really good and really clear.
Good.
Yeah, I, I love it.
Did it take you a while, like you went through the 18 months? Did, did it take you a while to find this specific knee? Each 'cause it sounded like it came together. And I'm curious if it was just kind of like a, oh, this is what I'm gonna do now. you woke up one day and you're like, oh, this is what I've been doing.
That should have been the case because that was what I was doing. But like most entrepreneurs, you start and you go in a totally different direction. I knew I wanted to help people with transitions and to be able. To use money as a tool to, to do the things that were impactful so far. This wasn't clicking.
I was doing it, and it's funny, I was doing it for free. Like as someone would come to me, I hate my job, let's help you map out a job exit strategy. For whatever reason, that did not translate to this should be my niche. My [00:31:00] niche initially was I wanted to work with families and it was hilarious. I had a husband, a wife, on a website, and I would inevitably get calls.
Hey I'm single. I don't have kids. Can you still work with me? Or, I see you work with families, but I'm trying to exit. So it was like the universe was talking to me and I must have had ear plugs in. I just wasn't listening. Finally, it struck me that I love holding space for people in this transition. I love showing them how, no matter what, this is possible.
So it just, it took years, like, I wish I could say it was quick. You think it would've been it? It just didn't occur to me that this could be something. So it was just. People were coming to me. I found this is what got me excited. Like I'm, I would be in a grocery store and if someone even remotely mentioned they hated their job, I'm like, let's step aside.
Let's, let's get your things, let's step, we gonna come up with a plan, get.
Wow, okay. This is [00:32:00] huge because lie, I kind of had my moment of like, huh, the thing I got excited about is not what I thought. So I'm sure there are many listening to this right now who are like, oh no, what if that, what if that's me? So like, what would you say to like a younger Tania or to a listener's, like, how do I find what my niche is? Are some indicators.
You know what's so funny?
I, I felt like I niched too soon. Follow the breadcrumbs.
Hmm.
Because, because I wish I, if I, if for whatever reason I decided I must work with young families, if I would've expanded and said, I'm gonna open up and I'm gonna see what excited me and just follow that, I would've found this years ago.
So I wish, so I, I think I was having this conversation with someone in the beginning. You're just not gonna know. But you do have cues
Hmm.
no matter what. You're automatically gonna narrow, you're gonna realize you may wanna work with women more than men. Also. It may be [00:33:00] psychographic, it, it may or psycho demographic.
It may be people with a shared philosophy, and that's an okay. And I feel like people don't talk about that enough. It may be a group of people who are very social impact driven. It may be a group of people who have a love of something, and that's okay. I wish I would've followed the breadcrumbs of what excited me.
And then after every meeting, 'cause there were some meetings I had where I was like, they were enjoyable, but I wasn't excited. And there were some meetings where I was like, I get to talk to this person today. I wish I would've just. Said, I'm gonna let people come and then start to narrow the focus. So you don't have, you probably have one and you don't realize it.
Just follow the breadcrumbs. Who do you normally give advice to? If you're like me, who do you pull aside after a grocery store run and start sitting down and give advice to? That should have been my hint. Like I've been to conferences and have sat people down. I'm like, gimme that conference agenda. And on the back of the agenda, I've written them out.
[00:34:00] Financial exit plans. Could you not? Yeah, that should have been a hint. It took me years because I was so convinced I had to have a niche and stick to a niche I, I wish I would've just explored. So give yourself the freedom of exploring what you like. Take really good. This is what strategy. So for every meeting, what did you like, what didn't you like?
Start to look at what your recording as your likes, and then just start to follow the breadcrumbs and. Trust yourself. I think business coaches are great, but there's a point where you've gotta trust your own instinct and the great business coaches will walk with you with that, with those instincts.
Yes, I'm, I'm laughing because I, I feel like I'm gonna call it the grocery store test now. I mean, in Brooklyn. I'm not gonna talk to anybody in the
Yeah.
the. I understand the intention, right? Like what is the thing you're so excited about that a stranger asks you a question and you are just like compelled to get a piece of paper and do whatever the thing
Yeah, [00:35:00] like
Yeah.
is hilarious. Like I, I just think the last few conferences I even, we, so keep in mind I was a speaker at these conferences. Someone came up to me like, here, here them out plan, or they even left. So yes, I will do it even without thought. And I think what you just meant is a great test. Be
Grocery
depending on where you live.
But yeah, whatcha so excited about you almost can't help but give guidance on and get just.
Yeah. And I also think that like to your point, what did you say? Like, you're not gonna know and it's okay to, like, maybe you think it's one thing and it's the other. Like I think I have a business coach and that's something she's mentioned to me. So we haven't, we haven't. Tagged up since then. But I had that realization where I was like trying to sell a program, like I still care about the career transition stuff. But then when I thought about the things that I sat down with my friends, it was like the operational strategy, like, like. The spreadsheet, the let me help your process better. And I'm like, hold on. Yeah.
And I [00:36:00] think that's important to the listener is that, and I also think like, not just in the beginning, but probably, and you can speak to this too, Tania, as you grow as a person, your niche may change too.
Like your interests may change. Like have you experienced that as time has gone
That was the problem with me choosing the small families. My kids grew up. So when I had chosen the families, my kids were in grade school. Fast forward to now they're in college and high school, and it may not seem like a lot, but with technology there is a seismic difference between being a mom of young kids seven years ago and being a mom of kids Now, I couldn't relate.
And as I grew, I found it wasn't so much the transition, it was the type of transition. So I found again, the job exits is what I got excited. I wish I could tell you that I figured this out. It was the, it, it was years. It was years for me to figure this out.
Yeah, think [00:37:00] I've heard that from other people as well, where they look back and it's like, it should have been
Yep.
it's okay if, if you're like, listening to this conversation, you're like, I just had a conversation with Betsy at the grocery store and I've had the same conversation with Jack also.
Maybe this is the thing and it's totally different from what you're doing. It's like Totally
Yeah.
okay.
I, I do say there is a value to a business coach I had too. I would say I do help people vet so they find the right one for them, but I have one and a business coach will help you see things that you just cannot see in yourself. So that's the value of having that person that can help you plan.
You just can't see yourself quickly. And I think. I think it was one of them that may have brought this up, like, you seem to get excited over this, and I like really, you're listening to me is.
So what would you, what would you tell the Tania who just, oh, actually, sorry. I've just looked at my notes. said something that was really interesting and I'm like, wow, I wanna learn more about this. And I probably went through this as well.
Can [00:38:00] you tell us about how the first three months after you quit, you knew that you had to go through a detox season?
Like what is a detox season and how did you know that that was coming and was it what you thought it was gonna be?
I had, so the company that I left, a bunch of people left before me. I noticed they were in this state of nothingness, so watching them go through it, I knew I would probably go through the same. So just I.
What is the state of nothingness?
This belief that your brain goes to nothing space. This, you wanna hit the ground running. And I tell people, more than likely you're gonna hit Netflix and probably order Amazon ice cream. Like that is what you do. So it's this, it's just this, this state where you just can't think. It's like this. It's almost this fog.
And the fog is the weight of everything you have not been dealing with, with the job. Everything, every hurt. Every cut starts to come back to you. You [00:39:00] start to remember stuff. You get mad. I don't know about you. I got mad all over again. Like, like you start to remember all of the hurts. And you are exhausted.
Especially if you've been doing a business and working full time. That is a lot of mental switching. You're just plain tired. I am not an angry person, how angry I was throughout it was, was what surprised me because it was almost like four years of just stuff got unleashed because you just stuff it down.
You just stuff it down and just go to work and I'm great at com compartmentalizing. And that came apart and all of a sudden all the stuff that I didn't deal with. I had to deal with, for me, um, I always believe in just transparency. I didn't have good boundaries at my job. I didn't believe I was enough.
I constantly was in a state of, if I do a good job, the accolades, the promotions was this validation for something I lacked. [00:40:00] Well, without the job, I had to face all that, and that was really hard and I had to realize that. I kind of have a pattern of this and I need to address this pattern. So all the self discoveries, that was what I didn't expect in those three months.
And how lost I felt like I was. I remember I was, it's funny now, but it was just funny. Then I was, I was at a kids' conference and this woman was asking me, I just quit. And she asked me, what do you do for a living? And I burst into tears. Still not joking. I, I'm like so embarrassing. because I just felt this loss of identity and I just was, I was going through a, how could I let myself be in this environment where I would be treated this bad and maybe I shouldn't let I was in, it was a bad day, so I just burst into tears and God sent me the right person.
She was like, what's been going on , honey? And I told her, and she literally was like, I understand. Do you wanna talk? Out of all the people I got, [00:41:00] she was, um, a business owner who sold her business. And when she sold her business, she realized she sold her. She, she lost her identity and she was a lot older than I was and she was struggling with that.
But can you imagine all the people I have a nervous breakdown too. She was the right woman.
Aw. I'm sure that was healing for her
Yeah.
to be able to be there for you. You know, in a way that I'm not sure if, I mean, I don't know if somebody was there for her during
Yeah.
Wow. That's huge. That sounds like a, yeah. Detox season sounds like a nervous system reset and kind of like a, like a come to Jesus with yourself.
Like, who am I if I'm not my role
Yeah, that was, yeah.
And you know, I have to be honest, as a black female, I felt like I was in a position for women of color in general. As a woman. I was one of the few women at the board at the table. I could make decisions that can impact women, like I've changed maternity leave policies because I didn't believe what I saw was right.
I was able, so I was like, if I leave, who else is there to [00:42:00] advocate? And then, I don't know, I had first gen guilt. My parents came to this country, so I had this like, I was a wreck. so I had all this guilt and feeling horrible and I've let people down. And it was not pretty.
What I'm thinking too though, is that all those thoughts and those feelings were the things that held you back and like were the reasons why you, you kept going and, and stayed in the, in a toxic environment or an environment that didn't really suit you. So I think it's actually really beautiful, even if it didn't feel beautiful at the time, that ' cause we learn a lot in like. W we call the adult chair language or adult chair, basically, which is what I'm certified in, where your subconscious and like your framework is here. And when something like that happens, it like comes up to your consciousness to be as a gift, which feels like a shitty gift, but a gift nonetheless, that gives you a chance to observe and like heal and
Hmm.
those parts, and then choose something different for yourself.
So I'm really glad I asked that detox season because I don't think that's talked about at all. I also was [00:43:00] surprised. Like I had all this free time and I'm like, am I allowed to have that?
How you process it.
So I. So when I had the, what did you call the stage two? You called it the frenzy. When I had the frenzy moment, I actually ended up taking a bridge job and I knew that at the time, even though I didn't wanna admit it. So I was in that job for three years and I knew, I'm like, I'm gonna be here for at least three years. What I didn't expect at that time is exactly what you said, the state of nothingness. I fell into a depression. I see that now. And it's. And it's because I didn't wanna go back to who I was.
That led me to burnout. But I also didn't know who I was if I wasn't overperforming, even though it led me to burnout. So, mine was like a long, drawn out process I think to, it took like two years. Well, it took a year for me to understand what was happening and then another year to like calm down. And then my third year before I left was when I finally was like, oh, I can be a leader and, and not sacrifice my, my time and my energy.
I didn't. [00:44:00] I know that sounds obvious, but internally I didn't think it was possible because that's not how I had led before. So it, for me, it wasn't three months, it was a three year process so that by the time I, I did quit my job. Yes. I still had some like nervous system stuff, like the guilt of not being at my desk from nine to five, even though I didn't like that, like it took me. Probably three or four months. But I had kind of faced myself in those three years. So yeah, it still wasn't pretty, but I think mine wasn't as intense as yours sounded like. I don't know which is better or worse. Pick your discomfort, I guess.
I think it's whatever's gonna make you the better person on the other side. Whatever process you need to work through to get to the you, you need to be for that next chapter. Whatever that is, is the right place or the right timeline.
Yeah, you are most likely gonna go through
Yeah. [00:45:00] On some shape.
version
Yep. Yeah.
Yes.
So Tania, this has been great and I'm sure there are a lot who's listening and they're like, I want to connect with Tania. I wanna work with her. How can people connect with you and just get to be in your vibe aside from this podcast episode?
Yeah, so easiest way to connect with me is my website, so it's www T-A-N-I-A-P brown.com. So that's my website. So from there, if you want to work with me, I do a free consultation where we just talk, figure out where you are, and I say, and I'll let you know what I do. If I'm not a fit, I know enough resources to point people in the right direction.
Additionally, if you go to my website and go to the top, you can take what I call my quick job readiness quiz. So it's the questions I would ask if I was in front of you. So now you have a starting point if you want to quit, okay? The questions themselves will help be your guide , [00:46:00] and it gives you a score.
So it gives you a quick job writing a scorecard. Where are you on your journey? What are the common mistakes people make who have similar scores with an action step and even a tool to help you fix it?
Hmm. I love it. As you're speaking, I'm already like I'm, I know who to send this. But don't worry listener, I'm putting everything in the show notes, so you'll get that. And I know we're at time here. I have one last question that I ask all my guests before we wrap up.
If you were an item in a coffee shop, anything like coffee, tea, pastry, the register, like anything, what would you be and why?
wanna be a cake pop.
A cake
Yeah.
No one has chosen that. I love those.
because it's cute, it's small, it satisfies you just enough, but you don't have any guilt having it. That's what I wanna be .
Yeah, I am gonna go to a coffee shop and get a cake pop in honor of you, Tania.
That's.
I love it. Tania, thank you so much for being here. This has been [00:47:00] so good. Listeners, I hope you've enjoyed this, and Tania, we'll talk soon.
Big thanks to Tanya Brown for being so open and so real in this conversation. This is exactly the kind of story I created this podcast for, because when you hear someone else say the thing you've been feeling but couldn't quite name, something shifts. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
You probably already know exactly who that is. And if you're sitting with something after this conversation, that feeling that good enough stopped being good enough a long time ago, I want to talk. Book a free 20-minute clarity call at leadintact.com/booking. That's where we figure out together what's actually going on and what your next step looks like.
All of Tanya's details are in the show notes. Go show them some love. And with that, I'll see you [00:48:00] next time