Ep. 3: You Got the Dream Job… So Why Are You Still Anxious?
You finally got the job. You negotiated the raise. You said yes to the thing you worked so hard for. And yet… something still feels off.
In this episode, I’m sharing what really happened after I made one of my biggest career pivots, how I advocated for myself, got the role I wanted, and then still found myself wrestling with guilt, anxiety, and a lingering sense of dissatisfaction.
Because no one talks about this part.
We think the leap will solve it all. But what if the real work starts after the pivot?
Here’s what I cover:
✔️ The identity shift that made my negotiation powerful, and successful
✔️ The sneaky ways we self-sabotage, even after getting what we want
✔️ Why I had to let go of the “hard worker” identity to finally feel free
✔️ A reflective exercise to help you rewrite your professional self-concept
This one’s for you if:
You’ve landed your dream role but still feel stuck, guilty, or anxious
You’re afraid to pivot because you think, “What if I still feel the same?”
You’re done with burnout, but not sure how to be someone who doesn’t hustle to exhaustion
Want More Support?
Grab my free resource → The Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter
DM me on Instagram → @leadintact
Already downloaded the guide? Book a 20-minute call with me at www.leadintact.com and let’s talk it out.
🎧 If this episode resonates, please share it with a friend or subscribe + review, it means the world and helps others find the show.
-
You are listening to The Pivot Point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, a founder of Lead Intact, and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Okay, so you got the dream job, the one that you've been waiting for. Now, what the thing is, unlike the movies, it doesn't just end there. It's not like you get that letter or that call that says, yes, you have this dream job, it's all yours. And then the credits roll, and then everybody presumably lives happily ever after.
I was just thinking about this.
I was thinking about my latest career pivot and how everything felt amazing, magical even during the time that it was all happening. And then I got the job that I was really hoping for, working hard for , and it wasn't really just about the job, it was also like I was looking for a balance between really liking my job.
And having a life, you know, and not being burned out. But then when I got there, I was just like, why am I not happy? And I remember talking to a good friend of mine about this same thing. She loved what she was doing, was really passionate about it. But it still led to a lot of stress, anxiety, and burnout.
And so she made a decision to do a career pivot still in the same area, so to speak, but instead of working for a company, she decided to go off on her own and she got what she wanted. She was making more than what she was making previously, working like half the time. And still it was just kind of like.
Why is my anxiety still there? So I think it's really important to talk about this because maybe this is you, right? You're like, oh my gosh, I got the job. I'm doing the thing, I think, but I now what? I still, it's not feeling how I thought it would feel. Or maybe that's one of your fears that's stopping you from even pursuing it.
You might be thinking, is it even worth it? What would life be like after that? Why would I leave behind the familiarity and comfort of being good at what I do for something unknown? Is it worth it?
So I wanna share the story of my most recent career pivot, leading up to it, how it felt like.
Then what happened afterwards and why it took me, I'm not even exaggerating, like a year and a half before I finally settled in and felt grateful for the life that I built. I'm hoping that in sharing my story, whether you are in the same boat or you're worried that you're gonna be in the same boat, that it won't take you as long.
My most recent career pivot, I'm not gonna mention the company here because it's really not so much about that. It's more about the experience of going through it. I was at a job where I truly felt passionate about the mission. It was technically challenging, intellectually stimulating, and I was in a lead position at the time.
Loved it, loved my teammates, loved what we were doing . There was like that little voice, I was just like, something's not right. And I'm a stubborn person. I didn't wanna admit that something wasn't right.
And then one of my coworkers, you know, I'm so thankful for this.
I called this person my work bestie. He was like, Laura, can we just have a candid conversation? And I was like, yeah, of course. My coworker brought up their own concerns because we were both in a similar lead position. And my coworker was like.
We both have similar responsibilities right now. Can I ask you , how many years have you been in your field and at the time I was let's say 14 years maybe. So we were similar.
My coworker started talking about, I have been asking around and researching, and I think we're being severely.
Underpaid. Basically my coworker was saying out loud the thing that had been bothering me for months. And so this is. Why I think transparency is very important. Of course, I don't recommend being transparent with just anyone. I believe it's important to tune into yourself and listen to your gut.
Can I trust this person? That kind of thing. But I'm so grateful for that conversation because hearing somebody say out loud, the thing that I wasn't even allowing myself to acknowledge, made me feel so validated.
As much as I enjoyed the work and enjoyed the challenge, I was just like, this is too much.
I got pissed. Not gonna lie. This is what happens when you aren't honest about your needs and your wants. They kind of just stores up inside.
And for me, at least once, I said, yes, I do feel this way. I just was, I was so furious, so, so angry. Luckily I had mentors at the time. I'll never forget, one of them was like, Laura, this totally valid that you're feeling angry.
And keep in mind that when you do talk to your manager about this, and I definitely think you should.
Don't come from an emotional place because you're not looking for an emotional outcome.
And so I prepped. I prepped myself for a conversation, and looking back, I didn't just prep in terms of what were my talking points.
I also started to realign like. Who I was and how I saw myself, because lemme tell you, this wasn't the first time that I negotiated my salary. I've been in the business at that point in like 14, 15 years. I'd negotiated before. But before I negotiated from the place of, oh, Laura, statistics show that women are less likely to negotiate, so this is why it's important.
Do it for womanhood. I was doing it from a place of I should be doing this intellectually, but all those other negotiations felt deeply uncomfortable. If I'm being honest with you. As much as I tried to come off confident, I bet there was still like a small. Doubt in myself. Now.
I'm not trying to shit on old Laura. she's badass. She did get those raises. I mentioned this, because something happened in that time period. Something changed that I think I have not heard anyone else talk about when it comes to negotiation.
It's not. Enough to know in your head what your value is. It's not enough to do the research and list your experience and be like, ah, yes, I should be making this from like an intellectual standpoint. 'cause I had that, I had all that, what I did at the time, and I, again, I didn't realize this at the time, it was just upon reflection now, is I had.
Shifted my identity such that I was coming from a place of fuck yeah, I'm worth that. I completely owned that. I was really good at my job. That sounds so simple. But seriously there, there was just like a huge difference in how I felt even about the thought of the conversation.
Because before when I would think about the conversation, I would feel nervous. My body would feel tight and it'd be like, oh my God, I hope they say yes. And it, I'd be at war myself. There's a part of me that was like, I hope I say yes. And then the other part's of course they're gonna say you're worth it.
This time, I was all in. I had an expectation of myself to fully believe in myself. I was just all in on me.
So that was the difference. Keep in mind, that was the approach I was taking and I asked for a meeting with my manager. This was an out of cycle raise that I was asking for. Mind you, I had been told in the past, not just in this company, and all the companies have been in, we only do raises during the performance cycle.
So if you're asking for that, we'll have to wait for next year and you can only expect like three, maybe 4%, et cetera. Well, with this new badass persona that I had decided to become and really fully embodied, I was like, fuck that shit. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna have this conversation if it doesn't go anywhere, whatever.
But I'm doing this for me. I need to stand up for me. So I reached out to my manager at the time. I laid out the points which my mentor helped me come up with, which is, one when you hired me. This is the salary that you had hired me at. These were the responsibilities, totally made sense.
Two, here's how my responsibilities have grown since then. Three, here are the areas that I plan to become even better at. And four, because of that, I believe with my current experience and what I'm already bringing to the table, which is different from how I started, I believe my salary range should be more like this.
Then I quoted a number and I mentioned that I did research comparable to other positions and other companies and things like that. The amount that I asked for was like a 16% raise. By the way. If the me of five years ago heard that. With who I saw myself at the time, even though intellectually I knew, I'd always gotten like great reviews, no matter like which company I was at, I still would've balked like, what are you sure?
Maybe you should bring that down to 5%. But that version of Laura was just like, fuck this shit. No, I deserve this. I honestly deserve more than this, but I'm a, I'm gonna do this. And then as part of my research, I actually had applied for another job just to see what they would offer me.
So keep in mind I did this interview with no expectation and no desire really to really get that job, but of course I gave it my best during the interview. So the same day, I kid you, not the same day that my manager said, yes, I've talked to the director and all that.
It was an easy sell to be honest. They immediately said yes to the amount that you said that same day I got a job offer with like slightly below what my negotiated pay raise was. You know what this badass did? You guessed it. Or maybe you didn't. I don't know. But I then when I was talking to who would be my manager at the new job, I then mentioned I just got this pay raise.
Can you match that or do better? Because again, , I just did not give a fuck. The old me, like how I saw myself before would've been worried like, oh man what do I do? But this new me was like, fuck it, I got nothing to lose. let's just see what happens.
I ended up taking that new job. And if this were a movie, it'd be like, yes, congratulations. And then you see me like popping champagne with my girls, and then the credits would run right.
Well, this isn't the movies. That's not where it ended. What happened was I found myself in this job that I said I wanted, that I negotiated my ass off, stood up for myself for and I still felt anxious and I was like, what the fuck?
I thought that getting this job would solve all my problems. Apparently that's not how life works. That's so weird.
It took me a while to understand, a year and a half, what I have since realized is that it wasn't enough to. Get the dream job. You also have to shift your identity to match the life that you say you want.
Does that make sense?
I'll break it down. For me specifically, I had only addressed one aspect of why I kept getting burnt out from all these jobs and that aspect is because I would say yes to roles that required me to step up as a leader and do all these extra things.
So yes, I addressed that part by getting a job that didn't have that expectation on me. What I hadn't addressed is well, what are the parts of me that are making me say yes to these things? Because yes, we live in a culture where productivity is king and like you're applauded if you are, working 60 hour weeks or whatever.
True. But what's also true is that I was the one saying yes. To all that and allowing it to happen, and I am the common denominator out of all the jobs where I felt burnt out. If this sounds like you and you are getting ready to flip me off, hear me out. Hear me out. I'm not saying it's ah, it's your fault.
You're feeling burnt out and all your, that's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is once I took accountability for my part of it, as much as it hurt to admit that I was the common denominator of all the jobs where I ended up being burnt out, I realized that taking accountability for my part is actually empowering me to make a change such that it doesn't happen again.
So if you're feeling this way like you got the job. You're still feeling anxious. Maybe like me, you're starting to feel guilty 'cause you're like so used to go, go, go and working nonstop and being burnt out and being the go-to person that you feel guilty not working as hard anymore. Take a step back and ask yourself, okay, it's clear that I'm used to being anxious and working my ass off.
What is actually important to me? So I started thinking, what is my professional brand? Meaning how do I wanna show up in a professional capacity? And also taking into account what are some words that people have described when talking about me in the past. Here's what I invite you to do.
Just reflect and think back, okay, who am I? What is my professional branding? Just write it out. So for me it was things like a leader, very important to me and how I ended up with a lot of leadership opportunities. 'cause I saw myself that way. It was reliable. It was fun. 'cause that's important to me.
And it was someone who's a hard worker and I prided myself being all those things. Then I took a step back and asked myself for each of those traits, does this still serve me? Yes. Then, okay, cool. Keep going. If the answer was no, then I thought about, okay, if it's no longer serving me, how can I shift that into an identity that does serve me?
So I'll give an example. For me, I realized that I used to be so proud to be called a hard worker. When I reflected on it, I realized being a hard worker is what led to me being burnt out all the time. And when I took a step back further, when I thought about the kind of life I wanted, which is to have a healthier work life balance, I realized that being a hard worker does not actually fit into that anymore.
So I asked myself, okay, I'm gonna let go of a title, being a hard worker, but what is actually important to me because I didn't just pick that up for funsies. And also, I don't actually wanna work hard just to work hard. That's not something I wanna be applauded for anymore. So what is actually important to me, and I realized what was actually important to me was to produce quality work.
And you don't have to actually work your ass off to produce quality work. You sometimes have to, but sometimes you don't.
That was a game changer. I was like, oh, I get it. This is why I felt so fucking guilty for not overextending myself because the identity of hard worker was so embedded into me, my very being for over a decade. It was leading me to feel guilty and also a little bit of shame. It was making me believe and think that if I wasn't working my ass off like I'd been in the past, I was lazy. And so once I understood the root cause, which for me is a hard worker, I was like, aha I got this. I can do something.
What I did next then is to really bump up my awareness without judgment, by the way.
What that looks like is from a day-to-day standpoint, when I would find myself calling myself lazy, I would pause and ask myself, am I really being lazy? In the beginning the answer was like, yes, because you're not working your ass off. I would remind myself working hard, working my ass off is no longer important, but producing quality work and being reliable is so I would ask myself in this moment.
Have I produced quality work or am I on the path of producing quality work? Yes. Am I still meeting my deadline? Which would make me reliable? Yes. Okay, then I'm gonna let this thought go that I'm lazy. I'm gonna let the guilt go. I would do that over and over again. And finally I was like, wow.
My life is pretty fucking great. I actually can log off by five. My phone isn't ringing so much while my IMs blowing up or whatever. This is great. I hope that resonates with you. This
is such an important topic because sometimes we think that when we get the thing. It'll make our lives magically better, not realizing that, hey, you still have to play a part in it too.
If you're like, wow I'm not quite there, but my friend was just talking about this, please share this episode. I would really, really greatly appreciate it. And if you are looking for more support, you're like, okay, um, Laura, that's nice. I need more. I have this amazing free resource.
It's called The Heart Aligned Career Transition Starter. You can get that on my website. I'll also put that in the show notes. My website is www.leadintact.com, and if you've already downloaded that because you're such a supportive badass that you are, book a 20 minute call with me. I've got you.
We can talk this out. As always, thank you so much for listening and supporting this podcast. It means so much to me. Please subscribe, do the thing that you do with podcasts, and remember, if there's one thing you can take away from this episode, know that you've got more power than you think. Even if you just can't up and leave and quit your job, right?
Like you've got responsibilities, kids, people relying on you, even a simple perspective shift can make all the difference. So with that, be gentle with yourself. Be patient with yourself, stay aware, and I will see you next time. Bye friends.
All right, friend. That's it for today's drop. If this episode hits something deep, don't just sit with it, act on it. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and then head to www.leadinta.com to grab your free heart aligned career transition starter, or book a free 20 minute call with me. I'm here when you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start moving toward what you really want.
Catch you next time.