Ep. 27: The Holiday Spiral & the Career Pivot Mindset Shift
If you’re already spiraling about family questions, January reinvention pressure, or worst-case career scenarios that haven’t even happened yet—this episode is for you.
Let’s talk about choosing a delusion that actually moves your life forward.
The holidays have a funny way of cracking us open. One minute you’re on a gratitude walk feeling grounded, the next you’re mentally rehearsing how to explain your career choices to your family and panicking about what January is “supposed” to look like.
In this solo episode, Laura gets radically honest about the mental spirals that high-achievers fall into—especially after leaving a “successful” corporate career or standing at the edge of a big pivot. From anxious over-planning to toxic positivity to the seductive “new year, new me” fantasy, she breaks down the most common delusions that keep us stuck.
Using tools from The Adult Chair framework, Laura introduces a playful but powerful concept: choosing your delusion on purpose. If your brain is going to make things up anyway, why not choose a mindset that actually supports courage, movement, and aligned action?
This episode is equal parts validation, mindset shift, and gentle kick in the pants—ending with an invitation to step into the only delusion worth choosing: the Hopeful Hero.
What You’ll Hear
✔️ Why your brain creates stress over scenarios that haven’t happened (and may never happen)
✔️ The four “delulu” mindsets high-achievers fall into during career transitions
✔️ How anxious over-planning creates analysis paralysis
✔️ Why toxic positivity and overnight reinvention don’t lead to real change
✔️ What it actually takes to create sustainable identity-level transformation
✔️ How to “proceed as if success is inevitable” without bypassing reality
“If you’re going to be delusional anyway, you might as well pick a delusion that serves you.”
If this episode hit close to home and you’re ready to stop spinning and start moving, head tohttps://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career to download the Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter or book a free 20-minute clarity call athttps://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-consultation Support is here when you’re ready.
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You are listening to the pivot point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, a founder of Lead Intact , and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Is it just me or do the holidays make you go a little crazy? At the time of this recording, we are in between the holidays. So I live in America. We're in between Thanksgiving, Christmas, which is what I celebrate and New Year's Eve. And [00:01:00] I really just feel like this time of year is something special.
So I was going on a walk. What I like to call a gratitude walk, and I was just thinking about how I actually really love this time of year because I live in New York now, but the majority of my family lives in Southern California. So usually I fly there and I was just thinking during this walk, like, wow, it's a chance to be with family, and I get to catch up with my cousins.
I get to see my aunts and uncles. I was looking forward to it and then. My mind started to spin, like I just left my corporate job. I'm gonna have so many questions. Like they're gonna be like, what is she thinking? Laura had such a successful corporate career. It's not safe. That's like the dumbest thing you've ever done.
I went from a state of gratitude to like anxiety and trying to come up with a plan, trying [00:02:00] to come up with all these worst case scenarios of like what questions I'm gonna be asked and like how I should answer them.
And oh my God, I need to regulate myself. Meanwhile, none of this is actually currently happening. It may not even happen. Can you relate to that? And with family specifically, it's like. What I have found to be true for me and for my clients and my friends that I talk to, it's like we are in our bubble like the rest of the year, and we are doing our, like self-growth, our personal development.
We're feeling good, we're letting, we're learning how to set boundaries. We are, we working with our inner child, we're doing all these things. And then it's like the moment you walk through your childhood home, you're suddenly 12 again. Is it just me? And then add to that. With it being the end of the year, January 1st is coming, it's like, ah, I get to reinvent myself and I get to be this whole new person, and all I have to do is just sign up for that new gym membership or do all these things and let me just cram it all in in January and I'm [00:03:00] magically gonna be able to carry that through the rest of the year.
I'm not that right now. I will say I will give grace to myself, but the thing is I've definitely been that person.
And as I was going on this walk and um. Really just watching my thoughts. You know, this is what we learned as part of the adult chair, uh, which I am a master certified coach in the adult chair.
So that's like my favorite tool to use. It's like, it's not that you make your good thoughts wrong. It's not that you judge yourself for having the thoughts, but more like what we call when you're seated in your adult chair. You don't let yourself become enmeshed with the thoughts you don't attach to what you just kind of watch it happen.
And as I did that, I realized you know what, all of these thoughts I'm having, you know, the concern about what is my family gonna say about me leaving corporate successful, almost two decade corporate career? What are some of the judgements that they're gonna say with the choices I've made?
How am I seeing [00:04:00] myself by the end of the year if I don't feel like I'm doing the push and how much can I cram into the month of January so that I can set myself up? All of these thoughts, these scenarios, none of it is actually real. What's actually real like in that moment was I was going on a walk and I just realized, wow.
I am freaking delusional. Hear me out. Because if you were saying yes to any of the scenarios that I was talking about and your mind is going and you're like, no, Laura, but that's what makes me really good. 'cause I'm a planner and because I can anticipate worst case scenarios, that makes me really awesome at my job and in life.
And, and maybe Okay. Like for sure I've gotten, a lot of accolades were being able to do that in my job. Uh, maybe even some friends like, wow, you thought of all this, but here's the thing. Like that 15 minutes or so that I was kind of like spinning in my head. Not really necessary. They're not, they may or may not happen, you know, [00:05:00] so like spending the time and energy to.
Think about these worst case scenarios and what would I say? And, and in the meantime, by the way, your brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's not. So your body is reacting as if it really is happening. You're putting yourself through stress for something that's not even real, for things that are delusions.
Okay? And I like to laugh at myself. I dunno about y'all. Because again, I'm not here pointing my finger. Don't do this. I'm saying these are the thoughts that I was having, right? So I am like in the D Lulu boat with you, and I realized if I'm going to be delusional, I may as well. Pick my own d Lulu, right?
Because your mind that's what it does, it pumps out scenarios and things like that. But here's the thing that I didn't realize until, I don't know, like maybe just a few years ago, you can actually control the direction of your thoughts. I used to say, [00:06:00] well, I can't help it. It's my mind. And like it just speaks like that.
You can direct it. You can direct it. And today I wanna share like a, a fun way, if you will, that I invite you to direct your thoughts. Okay.
I call it choosing your de lulu. Okay? Because here's my thing, if you are going to be like delusional, which is what it is, when you're making up scenarios in your head, that may or may not even happen, and again, like you're, you're.
Body. Your mind doesn't know what's real and what's not. If you are gonna step into D Lulu Mindset, you might as well choose a d Lulu that's gonna serve you. So first I have come up with four types of d Lulu. Behind door number one. This d Lulu is.
The anxious clairvoyant. This D Lulu whips out a crystal ball and starts cranking out worst case scenarios like it's [00:07:00] going outta style. You choose this one and you'll dive into endless plans to fix imaginary disasters, followed by even more worst case scenarios and more planned the result.
Overwhelm and guaranteed analysis paralysis. Put a hand up. If this has been you, I'm gonna put both hands up. My whole identity for the majority of my life. So I'm almost 40, so probably over two decades of my life. 'cause it wasn't until like the past couple years that I let go of this. I was the anxious clairvoyant and.
Even though I knew that I was putting unnecessary stress in my body, every time I would picture the worst case scenarios, it is how I felt safe, how I felt good about myself, and looking back the results overwhelm and guaranteed analysis paralysis. True. I was [00:08:00] so busy. Timewise and energy wise, thinking about all the ways that something could go wrong, that I would completely disconnect to what I actually wanted, and then I wouldn't end up taking any action at all.
So a simple example, I talked about this in one of my previous episodes is when I first realized that I didn't wanna be in upstate New York anymore. This was maybe, uh, let's see, it was three years before I actually made the move. So what happened was a desire came up. I loved being in upstate New York, and it's just time for me to be back in a city and before I could fully connect to that desire, the anxious clairvoyant in me, I stepped into this d Lulu, the anxious clairvoyant, and I was like.
How am I gonna do that? What about my job moving socks? Do I really wanna do this? What about all my connections? And then I just started making plans. I started making plans like, okay, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna have a spreadsheet and I'm gonna choose the cities and I'm [00:09:00] gonna break this down and I'm going to visit each city and live as if I like spend a week there and you know, make an assessment in each one.
And let me tell you, yes, I did that, by the way I did that. And I didn't end up doing anything. In fact, I was so caught up in the plans, the scenarios, the overthinking, the making sure that I have plans on plans and plans in case any of these things happen. I was like thinking about, okay, and then if I get fired for this job, I could do this job and then I can maybe, maybe I should start connecting with this person.
May, you know, like completely my mind was so preoccupied with the worst case scenarios and planning for them. That I didn't actually end up making a move, and it wasn't until three years later, the pandemic hit everything shut down when I finally reconnected to my desire. Okay? That is why behind door number one, anxious clairvoyant.
I encourage you to walk back out of that door and consider another [00:10:00] D Lulu. Okay?
All right, moving on behind door number two, the whimsical. Optimist, this D Lulu pops on rose colored glasses and showers. You with dreamy. What if everything goes perfectly? Visions? It's all peace. Ease and a carefree attitude because obviously it's all going to work out, so why bother lifting a finger?
And even when it doesn't, this d Lulu keeps painting rosy reality, detached pictures. Honestly, who needs reality anyway? Reality is like, so last season, okay. I have to admit this has never been me and listener. If this is you, I admire your optimism in the face of things that are happening. Right now in the world and also like in your life, I'll be so honest right now, I am not a fan of the whimsical optimist, but even as I say that, I wasn't all that much better [00:11:00] being an anxious clairvoyant because in both cases you don't end up doing anything.
So the whimsical optimist is like, okay, all right. This is probably gonna be so unpopular, but I'm here to be real. I came across the documentary, the Secret, like maybe, it must have been 12 years ago or so, a long time ago, and I was watching it and it got to the point where it talked about you don't need to work hard.
Like for example, if a young boy wants to have a bike, rather than bugging his parents about the bike, he just wants to want it hard enough and then it'll come. I had to stop the documentary right there because I was just like. I don't believe where you just want something bad enough and it comes to you.
I believe in taking action. Even 12 years ago, this was my stance. I understood the, the concept of what it was saying, how if you are focused on what you want instead of the obstacle, then the some solutions, some creative. Solutions may come to you because you're so focused on, I'm gonna get the thing or [00:12:00] do the thing or whatever.
That, that's, your mind's gonna be attuned to that. I was on board with that, but my interpretation, so I will say maybe I misunderstood the point of the documentary at the time. This is just my interpretation of what it was saying. I didn't agree that it was enough to want it. I think you still have to take action.
You must take some action towards it as well. It's, it's kind of like you're meeting your desire, like you're walking towards it and it's walking towards you type of thing. So anyway, the whimsical optimist not my favorite. Not gonna lie to you. I also call this toxic positivity. You know, like, I think there is.
A real growth and need to acknowledge that not everything is what's the like peachy. Not everything's peachy. Not everything is like, what is the saying something in roses? You insert the rainbow phrase here. And I also am very careful now when I do this [00:13:00] work in personal development and also even like spirituality that.
It's important to acknowledge the hard things that are happening. The not so great things, the feelings that feel like they just really suck because that's the path to growth is you need to be able to like clearly see these things and feel these things. Otherwise, it's spiritual bypassing. So, if you are resonating with the description of door number two, whimsical optimist, I invite you to also walk through the door and pick another.
Okay. Behind door number three.
This is the overnight reinvention, D Lulu.
This D Lulu shows up every January 1st with a fresh planner, a color coded schedule, and the audacity to believe that sheer intensity will turn you into a brand new person overnight. It assumes discipline can replace identity discipline, at least for the first 30 days, and [00:14:00] that going hard for a few weeks will undo years of patterns.
Spoiler alert, it usually leads to burnout, shame, or quietly ghosting your goals by mid-January. This. Door is not transformation. It feels good, right? Because motivation is like, ah, let's go rocky going up the stairs. It feels really good, but it, it's a d Lulu, because real transformation happens in a sustained day-to-day action that you take towards that person you're looking to become.
Let's, let's take the, the gym for example. I have been this person, by the way, before fitness became my, my thing. I was the person who signed up January 1st for the gym. And I was like, this time it'll be different. I'm gonna stick to it. I'm motivated. I could feel the fire inside me. And I think I did it for like maybe three weeks.
I, and then I was like, oh, like I'm tired today. Oh yeah. Like I have to stay, laid at work. I can't do it. That's not how it works. Because the thing is motivation or even the passion or even [00:15:00] inspiration, these are fleeting. Okay? We're not meant to stay there. It's meant to propel us to into action.
So you took the action. Great. What you also have to do is to really be clear about not just like. Yes, my the gas, so to speak, of me going to the gym is because of this feeling of passion and motivation and inspiration. Instead, while you're feeling that motivation, inspiration, you ask yourself, okay, what is gonna bring me through beyond, like, when this feeling of motivation fades?
Okay? And for me, what finally got me is. You know, health is very important to me and I would like to be able to walk in my old age, like eighties or so. I would like to get that sense of like accomplishment that going [00:16:00] to the gym consistently will give me so.
Beyond just that feeling of like, yeah, I got this rocky. You know, it's important to really get clear about what's gonna take you through to the, to like beyond just the first two, three, or four weeks. Okay? So that is the overnight reinvention to Lulu. This one takes action. It's just not like a sustained action, and we don't want that if we want to actually change our identity now.
The final d Lulu, and this is the one that I ultimately have decided to walk through. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I still walk through the anxious clairvoyant. I mean, but I notice it, right? Hopefully this, these descriptions are, you know, descriptive enough, but also like not so serious and, and like funny enough that you're like, okay, fine.
Maybe I'm a little bit anxious, clairvoyant. Maybe I'm a little bit overnight reinvention to Lulu. Once you become aware and you're like, oh shit, I'm in d Lulu phase.
I highly encourage you, and I'm talking to myself here as well to go [00:17:00] behind door Number four, the hopeful hero. Cue the superhero pose and dramatic Cape Flutter.
This D Lulu acknowledges the odds are stacked, then fires you up with an inspiring yes, you can pep talk. You are suddenly the brave, underdog destined to save the day. Do you have a plan? Nope. Are the odds in your favor? Not at all. But hey, your legendary courage will be the stuff of stories for generations.
Honestly, even just reading that, I just got full body chills. Doesn't that sound like if you're gonna be in d Lulu world, thinking about things that aren't actually true, may never be true, then you might as well pick door number four, the hopeful hero.
So I hope this was helpful. I hope this is a little bit tongue in cheek so that you can set yourself up, to be in a better position around the holidays for the new [00:18:00] year.
And if you're like, okay, I would like to be, d Lulu door number four, hopeful hero. I just don't know what that looks like in the context of my career or where I am in my life. And you're feeling like you could use more support. I am here for you. Book a free 20 minute call and I'd be happy to support you.
And remember, the hopeful hero always says, proceed as if success is inevitable because it is.
All right, friend. That's it for today's drop. If this episode hits something deep, don't just sit with it, act on it. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and then head to www.leadinta.com to grab your free heart aligned career transition starter, or book a free 20 minute call with me. I'm here when you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start moving toward what you really want.
Catch you next [00:19:00] time.