Ep. 18: Why High Achievers Downplay Success (and How to Stop)
Ever crush a big goal only to downplay it?
Laura’s been there—and she’s calling out the sneaky inner critic that keeps high-achievers small.
In this fiery, heart-opening episode of The Pivot Point, Laura Dionisio dives into the invisible tension between your inner critic and your inner bestie—that part of you that celebrates wins, cheers you on, and knows you’re already doing enough.
Fresh off leaving her corporate job, Laura gets real about how easy it is to slip back into old patterns of self-criticism, even when everything’s going right. She unpacks the mindset shift that helped her stop chasing “more” and start acknowledging her progress in real time.
With humor, honesty, and a dash of tough love, Laura invites you to rethink what staying humble really means, why we downplay success, and how to rewire your inner dialogue so you can move from pressure to presence.
What You’ll Hear
✔️How Laura realized she’d been led by her inner critic for years
✔️The “Gap and the Gain” mindset every high performer needs to hear
✔️Why we minimize wins (and how to stop doing it)
✔️How to identify your inner critic’s voice versus your inner bestie’s
✔️Simple mindset flips to start celebrating yourself without guilt
✔️Why learning to receive—compliments, joy, success—changes everything
“I realized I was so busy chasing the next milestone that I forgot to celebrate the one I just hit. That’s not ambition—that’s self-abandonment in disguise.” — Laura Dionisio
Ready to turn that inner critic into your loudest hype woman?
Listen to Episode 9: How to Know It’s Time to Leave Corporate (Even If the Money Isn’t There Yet), Also grab the Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter at https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career or book your free 20-min call https://leadintactwithlaura.as.me/free-consultation to start your next bold move.
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You are listening to The Pivot Point where we unpack the defining moments that shift careers and lives. I'm your host, Laura Dionisio, a founder of Lead Intact , and my mission is to spotlight the raw real stories behind career pivots, the fears, the hopes. The messy middles and the bold decisions that follow if you're feeling stuck or quietly wondering what's next?
I hope these stories help you see yourself a little more clearly and inspire you to start moving toward your own dream life. Let's begin.
Introduction: Celebrating Milestones
Have you ever hit a massive goal or an amazing milestone and then you just brush right through it? Hi, Laura Dionisio, same Zs. Here's the thing. This happened recently. I wish I could say, oh yeah, five years ago this happened, but now like I take the time to celebrate myself. Yes, I do take the time to celebrate myself, but sometimes the inner critic be real sneaky though.
Let me explain.
Leaving the Corporate World
So recently I left my corporate job. It's been about two months at this point. I talk about that in the previous episode, what led to it, that kind of thing. And a couple days ago, literally just a couple days, as of the time of this recording, I was looking at my goals, trying to set up for the next, 90 days to plan out till the end of the year.
And I was giving an update to my coach on how I was doing. And I said, oh yeah, I can tell that there's more for me to do from a money mindset standpoint because my financial setpoint is still what it was in corporate because it's two months that I'm outta corporate and I made the same amount and it's not what I desire.
'cause I wanted more. And it took me, I mean, lemme just pause there for a second. I literally said it just like that. And thank God for coaches, because the first time I just kind of said it and then the second time I said it and I was like, holy shit, I am only two months outta corporate and I have made the same.
Congratulations to me. But do you understand that feeling where it's like I was just so focused on where I wanted to be that I didn't stop to. Think about, this is a big fucking deal.
The Gap and the Gain
There's this book called The Gap and the Gain. It's written by Dan Sullivan. Now I'm just gonna give you a heads up.
I haven't yet read it, but let me read you a short segment. This is why I have this book, and I will read it eventually. This is from the book, the cover at least. Most people, especially highly ambitious people are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an ideal moving target that is always out of reach.
When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in the gap. However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in the gain and I was very much. Before I stopped myself and my coaches were like, hold up, wait a second. I was very much in the gap and I've been thinking about this. A huge part of it is because of how I saw myself in the past.
It's about the identity. I can try with behavioral things to be like, oh wait, no, I'm gonna celebrate every Friday and I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna set it up so that I have time to do that. But here's what I have realized is.
Inner Critic vs. Inner Bestie
You can do all these external practices, you can say all the right things, quote unquote, do the right things.
But if you do not shift that inner dialogue first, that inner belief, you are gonna keep doing the same thing. And for me, what I recently realized is that I have been driven my success. I'm looking at my diplomas here, my awards here from when I was in corporate. They have been driven by my inner critic.
And I thought about it, I'm like, you know what? I have been aware of my inner critic for a long time, and I thought it was the way to go. Why? Let me know if you resonate with this. Have you ever heard of, stay humble? Why are you bragging in, uh, in the Philippines, there's this saying like, when you start to, to kind of, not even brag, but when you start to like, say, like a win or something like that.
Like usually the saying is, which basically means how arrogant, literally it translates to like your face is thick, which I know doesn't make sense in English, but that's what I grew up with. But still deep inside, I wanted to be a high performer. So in my adolescent years. I realized like, how can I be a high performer but still be accepted and not be called, which is, like I said, arrogant, right? And I came up with, oh, the inner critic. That's when the inner critic, at least within me, was born. Why? Because I used to say things like I don't want to celebrate too much.
Because I don't want to become too big for my britches. I wanna stay humble 'cause that's a good thing. And I would say things like, because honestly it motivates me a bit when the inner critic tells me all the things I've done wrong, because then I like that I have a moving target because I'm not one who's ever gonna be complacent.
I don't wanna be complacent if I don't criticize myself. And point out the things that I could have done better, then I'm gonna become complacent. Literally, those were the beliefs. And so the inner critic was like, alright, I'm here for it. Let's go.
Transforming the Inner Critic
And I realized recently, first of all, I didn't even realize I had an inner critic per se, because it was just so normal in my head that I didn't recognize it.
As an inner voice that was criticizing me, and also because my beliefs were like, oh no, this is a good thing. But here's the thing, what if you can perform well through positive affirmations? Oh, wow. What a concept. And I get it. Like some of you listening might be like, no, but I really work well.
When the voice inside me say, you suck. You sure really hear me out. What if rather than have an inner critic that just points out every flaw, every way in which you can do better. And that continuously moves the goalposts, you know? Like you hit it, you are happy for a second, and then the inner critic moves it.
What if instead you cultivated an inner bestie? Now your inner bestie doesn't have to be this overly optimistic like type of persona that gives you a participation award. Personally, that's not me. I'm a highly competitive person. That will never be me, and that was the first step in me realizing, oh. Me staying humble, quote unquote.
That's just really me making myself small and make myself wrong for wanting to be so excited about things. But keeping me small, isn't the only way for me to make sure that I'm never complacent by nature. I'm not a complacent person. So if it's true that by nature I'm not a complacent person, what is a better way for me to.
Stay motivated and to grow, and this is where the inner bestie comes to mind. So get clear on your inner bestie, what could it look like? You probably are very clear with your inner critic what that's like, but like let's just play around with the idea of like, if you had an inner bestie, what would it be like?
I just think about how I am when a friend tells me something that they're excited about, like lifting, for example. So I do Olympic weight lifting for fun on the side, and I remember sometimes my teammate would be like, I just hit a 35 kilo snatch.
I'm so excited. And then I'm like, wow, that's amazing. That's what I would say. And then when my friend would say something like. But like three months ago I hit 37. And so like I feel like I've, you know, it's my fault. I just haven't been coming. I've been really busy at work and you know what inner bestie would be like for me at least they would sound like me.
You know what I would say, and this is true, I actually have said this, okay, yes, you maybe hit 37 kilos like two months ago, and yes, it is true that you're not consistent and. You fucking hit 35 today. Like, can you, you know, make a, a plan so that you start to come more consistently? Yes. But let's put that aside for now and let's take a moment and fucking celebrate.
'cause that is amazing. You are amazing. Your nails look great. Your form looked fantastic. Like literally, that's how I am with my friends. And so for me it's like, how can I transform my inner critic so that she becomes my inner bestie? Instead, so let's play this out. Like what would it look like in the context of me realizing that I literally just two months outta corporate and making the same, this is what the inner critic would sound like.
Okay, but you invested in this other program, you need more money. And like, what about the longevity? You just got lucky in this last month. What about next month and the month after that? So let's talk through how you can do better. That's what my inner critic sounds like. Now. In the past, my inner critic used to be a lot meaner.
My inner critic in the past used to be like. You got really lucky and it's, you're unlikely to get lucky again and you just need to work harder, you know? But I've done some work, so notice how my inner critic doesn't even sound that bad. And sometimes, I mean, yes, that's a good thing. I'm no longer feeling shitty about myself.
And sometimes this is kind of trickier or sneakier, let's say, because it sounds so reasonable, right? Let's just focus on how you can do even better like it sounds. Encouraging. It sounds great, and it's still an inner critic. It's still not giving me a chance to celebrate. So here's what an inner bestie might sound like.
It would be like, hold up, I understand that you have goals to make more than what you're making corporate. Cool. We can address that later, but I'm sorry, did you just say two months at a corporate and you made the same? Did you just, excuse me? Did you hear that? She just did. She just, hello?
Oh my God. Let's bust out a bottle of champagne and fucking celebrate. 'cause you are amazing. Keep going. Keep shining. Yes, queen. Yes, queen. This is what it's like when you are following your dream and following the intuitive nudges. And I know from here you could do even better. Now, how different did that sound?
I literally got goosebumps. I didn't realize that I really needed to record this episode more for me than for you listeners, although I hope that was helpful. Here's the thing, when I was narrating the thoughts of the inner critic, I just. Fall a little sad, like, oh, okay, I guess I have to work again. I'm kind of tired.
To be honest. My energy like deflated a little bit. When I started channeling inner bestie, I got so excited, I got so pumped, and you know what? It made me motivated to do more, to be even more aligned, to have even more fun.
And guess what? For a high performer like me, if I really say that what matters to me is to perform well, the inner bestie is the way to go.
A few steps on how you can begin the transition between inner critic and bestie one. Start to gain awareness of when your inner critic is speaking to you. Like I said, sometimes it's not super obvious if you've had it for a long time, but start noticing your thoughts when you have an accomplishment, how do you respond?
Take a moment and think about the last time you did something amazing. Anything big, small, whatever. Walk through what happened inside your mind. Did you talk to a friend about it? Did you celebrate or did you brush it off? So that's the first step. Start to really get to know the inner critic.
Start to be aware of what it sounds like and see yourself as separate from that. And then two, get curious. How would things change if that voice inside became more of an inner bestie than an inner critic? The idea behind this is that you start to see how life could be different.
Maybe life would be a lot more fun. That's certainly true for me. Maybe you are a lot more fun to be around 'cause you're not so negative. Maybe other people start being inspired by you. Maybe more opportunities will come your way. Maybe more people will be drawn to you. I don't know. Start playing around with the idea.
And three, start cultivating your inner bestie. What does your inner bestie sound like? Is there somebody in your life that you can picture being like. Your number one fan, your number one cheerleader
picture, how they would respond to the accomplishment that you just did. Okay?
Embracing Compliments and Positivity
And then here's another way to know if you have a tendency to have an inner critic versus an inner bassie, and this is so, so common. Do you have a hard time accepting compliments? When somebody says, oh my God, those earrings are so nice.
Are you like, oh, thanks, I got 'em for a dollar. Or, you know, I, I just had it in the back of my jewelry box. You start to minimize why get curious, not from a place of like, oh, it's so bad that I think that way. Just be like, why? What is driving the need to minimize this?
Is it? 'cause I. I don't like the attention. Is the attention uncomfortable? Is it that I, I feel like it's not polite to do that. And then like, get curious. What would an inner bestie response to somebody saying, your earrings are great. It might be something like, oh my God. Yes. And they're so sparkly. It makes me smile anytime I see a reflection in the mirror.
And it don't have to be like overly braggy about it, right? But like, how much more fun was that? And think about it for the person complimenting, right? When I'm complimenting someone, it's like I'm giving them a gift. And if somebody just. Doesn't accept it.
It's like they're knocking the gift outta my hands and they're like, fuck you. I don't want your gift. A little extreme, but really that's what it's like.
How do you think that makes me feel as the gift giver? Right now, there's the more neutral way where I'm like, I'm giving the gif. Your earrings are so beautiful. They caught my eye. And then, oh, thank you. That's just like a sincere receipt. And maybe that's where you wanna be and that's fine too. However, I challenge you.
What if you know, and granted it's 'cause I'm a little extra myself. What if your response to a compliment, so like again, I'm handing you the gift of, the compliment of your earrings are beautiful and the way you receive it, you just take it with enthusiasm. You give me a hug, you're like, oh my God, yes.
Thank you for noticing. I was staring at it for like a good five minutes before I bought it because it sparkled in the sunlight and made me so happy. Now as the person giving the gift, I'm like, oh my God, they really appreciated my gift and, and now we both feel extra happy. Right? What would it be like if that was just how you accepted compliments, how you celebrated yourself all the time?
Okay, so you might be thinking that's great for compliments, but what does this have to do with me and my career?
Conclusion: Cultivating a Positive Mindset
Because this is The Pivot Point podcast, right? We care about the career transitions. Here's the thing, think about the person whose energy feels lighter, confident, and just like they have a can-do.
Type of energy, not the person who's like, is this gonna work? Oh my God, I really suck at this. Or you know, like that kind of thing. Even if you're not saying those things out loud, there is a certain energy that you put out. Have you ever worked with someone or for someone who just felt calm? Like no matter what issues seem to happen, they're just calm, and I bet you it isn't because they have an inner critic.
Yapping around in their head, and maybe their language isn't quite inner bestie, but what we're really looking for here is like a calmer place of being so that you don't have so much noise in your head telling you things that you did wrong. Pointing out ways that you can better, we want a more neutral way of being where you could just actually see yourself for who you are.
So the reason I started off with inner critic versus inner bestie is because sometimes we are so mired into this inner critic that we kind of need to have like an influx of this positivity in hopes that at some point we get to this more neutral place where no matter what happens, you're grounded.
Yeah, and your mind is no longer used to automatically thinking of ways you could do better or things that you did wrong. Your mind is now open and ready to look for solutions, not solutions to like the problem that is you, but just genuine solutions of like, what can we do better? What are the possibilities?
You start to think about the possibilities instead of the waste. You can fail. So I hope this is something that. Resonated with you. I would love to hear about it. Let me know. Shoot me an email. Send me a, a DM on Instagram. Tell me do you have an inner critic or an inner bestie? And always proceed as if success is inevitable because it is.
I'll talk to you next time.
All right, friend. That's it for today's drop. If this episode hits something deep, don't just sit with it, act on it. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and then head to www.leadinta.com to grab your free heart aligned career transition starter, or book a free 20 minute call with me. I'm here when you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start moving toward what you really want.
Catch you next time.